Time is Running Out
by MaryxWeather
Summary: When 18 year old Bella finds out she has cancer she decides to move back in with her father for what her doctors say is her last year. What happens when she meets Edward Cullen? AU. OOC. T for language.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. Stephenie Meyer does. She's so awesome.**

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My name is Isabella Marie Swan, but I prefer just Bella – it's less old-timey. I live in Phoenix, Arizona with my mom, Renee. My dad, Charlie, lives in the rainy town of Forks, Washington. Why don't we all live together you ask? Well after I was born we _did_ live together – for a little while. After a few years my mom had a "spazz attack," as I like to call it, and claimed that she couldn't stand living there anymore – she felt stuck. When that was all said and done she took me and escaped to our current home.

I used to visit Charlie for summer vacation every year – for about three months – but when I was fourteen I put my foot down and stated that I would never go back to that "dumb, rain-filled abomination." In case you couldn't tell I am very vocal, some may some blunt, but hey as the old saying goes "You say tomato, I say potato." Anyway, my parents actually took what I said into consideration and me and my dad settled on meeting in California instead of Forks. It was a nice compromise.

However amazing I thought the new arrangement was I still felt sad sometimes, and it was all thanks to my brother, Leonard – Leo for short. I think that I should clarify that me and Leo aren't related by blood, but to me he's my brother for all intensive purposes, in all the ways that count, and he sees me the same way. Me and Leo first met when my dad took me took a barbeque that one of his old friends was having. I really didn't want to go at first because the man lived in Seattle and I was never a fan of long car rides; however, when I got there my opinions changed. There he was, sulking over by a huge bowl full of red sugary punch, and trying to keep the look of disgust off his face as a blonde shook her way up and down him like he was a pole.

I was only ten at the time, but I had _perfected_ the innocent dense act. Walking over to them I made my steps timid and chewed my lip to make it a little bigger – really helps if you need to pout-and-quiver. Finally reaching them I totally ignored the blonde – whose roots exposed to be a _fake_ blonde – and tugged on the pretty teenage man's sleeve.

"_Excuse me, mister. Is that was sex is?"_ my voice was timidly curious.

At first he just looked at me when his eyes suddenly narrowed. I started to get scared that I angered him in some way but he surprised me when his voice came out calm and politely interested.

"_No, little girl it isn't. But if you'd like I could ask your daddy to explain to you what sex is." _He was smirking. Smirking! At me!

He knew. He knew that I was acting and I was infuriated to realize that he was trying to beat me at my own game. And here I was trying to help him. That changed faster than you could bat an eyelash.

"_Thanks! My daddy is right over there, his name is Charlie."_ I gasped like I just had the world's biggest epiphany. "_You should ask him if _you_ could teach me! After all he looks really busy."_

I had the extreme satisfaction of seeing his face turn red.

I wanted to grin right in his face. I wanted to laugh until I cried. Heck, I wanted to do a damn victory dance for the expression that took over his face. Along with the red, the expression was priceless.

However, I had a battle to win. It took every ounce of self control that I possessed, but I managed to keep my features under control. I was able to contain myself from letting him know that if he was going to push, I was going to shove back.

I was a Swan, I was competitive as hell, and I _hated_ to lose.

"_Listen kid, I don't know who you are, but go away. Can't you see that were busy?" _the fake blonde sneered in her air-head voice.

I swear nails on a chalk board were better than listening to her.

The guy had props for putting up with it for so long.

"_Really? Busy with what?"_

"_Wha—Well—Gah! Never mind that. Just go away, we have adult business to talk about." _She was angry now.

The urge to laugh hysterically surfaced again, but I beat it back down.

"_But you weren't talking."_

"_What?"_

"_A second ago. The two of you weren't talking. You were just sticking to him like blue glitter crazy glue. That's why I thought you were having sex. Well, I think it was sex..." _

Now it was her turn for her face to turn red. And boy did it ever.

Usually I blush real easy, and it's never the faint red, it's like a cherry tomato replaced my face. But at the moment the annoying blonde was giving me a run for my money.

It was comical to say the least.

I watched as her mouth would open and then close, like a fish gasping for water on dry land, and all the while I was stealing quick peeks at the guy standing to my right.

Trying to finally get a good, up-close look at him.

He wasn't bad looking. Curly, dusty blonde hair – like those surfers I saw on television – he had just enough of a tan so he didn't look like a zombie, and he was really tall. I liked tall guys. They just seemed so much cooler, and they were able to do things that my three foot five inch self couldn't.

_Okay this is getting boring..._

A sigh escaped me just as a little boy crashed into my legs.

"_Are you okay," _I asked. I hoped he didn't hit his head or something.

"_Ya, I'm fine," _he replied as he started looking for something on the ground.

"_What're you lookin for?"_

"_Huh? Oh, just my water gun..."_

Water. Gun. The two words put together like that created a plan in my head faster than you could say 'Holy Smokes.'

"_Yes! Got it."_

Kneeling back down to meet his eyes, I once again put on my sweet face.

"_Hey, um, do you think I could borrow that for a second?"_

"_Why?"_ he asked clutching the gun to his chest, instantly wary. Drat – the kid must have siblings or something...

Hmm, maybe evil motives would work for this kid.

"_Well, see that girl right there keeps picking on my brother, and I just thought maybe your water gun could make her stop.... If you know what I mean," _I didn't even try to hide the smile that over took my face when I thought about what I wanted to do – it would have put the Cheshire Cat to shame.

The little boy glanced over to the girl as I spoke. And his smile began to mirror my own as I finished telling him my plan.

"_That's my sister..."_

This is when I panicked. Full-fledged run and scream panic.

"_...sure, why not. She got me in trouble with mom yesterday, so this is payback."_

Appreciation for this kid's devious mind replaced the panic as it left my body.

He shoved the gun in my hands, and I quickly got to work.

Uncorking the little hole at the top I dumped the water out on the grass. I snuck a look over at the two teenagers again. The fake blonde was once again attached to the dusty blonde...who was starting to creep me out. The girl totally forgot about me the minute my attention towards them ceased, whereas the guy was still staring at me.

Why was I even doing this? I already won the verbal war with Mr. Dusty, so why was I still annoyed? Why was the dumb blonde annoying the crud out of me?

I mentally slapped myself – trying to convince myself it didn't matter – and stood up by the punch bowl. I filled the little gun with the red stuff, and shoved the cork back on.

Now where was.... Ah Hah! Found her. Ms. White. There she was, in her full white pant suit glory. I saw here when I first got here, it was hard to miss her the way she stood out like a high-end designer or something.

Crouching down, just like my dad showed me when we played cops-and-robbers, I snuck closer to my target and lined my gun up, preparing to fire.

Her white jacket. Hopefully gravity would do its job...

_In three, two, one...FIRE!!!_

I pulled back on the trigger with my mental countdown.

I felt some of the cold juice seep over my fingers and down my hand, as I tuned out everything and just concentrated on the squishy noise the trigger made.

After about 5 seconds of pure mischievous glory I retreated – knowing that people would start to notice really soon.

I ran the few feet back to the girl, still suction-cupped to the boy, and slipped the gun in her back pocket.

Me and the little boy were crouching down next to the punch bowl, when it happened.

Frantic, angered screaming.

Neither of us could contain the snickers, but we managed to keep from out-right laughing. It was hard.

"_MY NEW SUITE!!! Who the—what—UHH! When I find out who did –" _She didn't finish her sentence – instead gasping as if she were insulted.

"_JANE!!! You have so much explaining to do young lady!"_

The sticky-tramp whipped around to look at the woman who was starting to resemble a banshee.

"_What are you yelling at?" _she demanded.

Wait. The girl was Jane. I squirted her mom. Her brother was my accomplice. Talk about a Dr. Phil episode waiting to happen. Honestly, I hated the show, but for some reason my mom loved it. I was usually stuck watching two hours of the dumb thing a day.

After all the yelling things happened pretty fast. Jane was forced into the house by her mom...they didn't come out for a good while. I heard yelling. Anyway the little boy, Alec I soon learned, promised he wouldn't tell anyone it was me – I told him I would forever hold him to that promise.

Later me and Alec were munching on grilled corn – tastes a lot better than it sounds – when Mr. Dusty came and sat next to us.

No food.

No talking.

No moving.

Just staring. At me.

Alec sent me a questioning look, but all I did was shrug. I didn't know what was going on either. All of us sat just sat there – me and Alec still eating, and the other guy still staring.

"_Your aim sucks you know."_

I started choking. Was he talking to me? What the friggel? My aim is amazing! My daddy taught me.

"_What are you talking about," _I demanded once I could breathe again.

"_Your aim sucks," _he said this slowly, as if I were mentally challenged.

"_No it doesn't." _

"_If you pointed your gun a little higher it would've increased the arc from you to your target, which would've effectively caused more damage to her jacket from the higher hit point."_

My hunger was completely forgotten as I lunged at him. I was giving it all I had, but he was stronger and bigger. Soon my arms were pinned to my sides, he was straddling me, and I was fighting for air beneath him.

I always did have anger problem...and impulse problems.

"_There's nothing wrong with my aim," _I growled at him.

"_I'm Leonard, but you can call me Leo."_

"_I don't care. Take it back."_

"_No. That would be lying."_

"_So, you're a big kid. Big kids always lie."_

"_Where did you learn that?"_

"_Doesn't matter."_

"_What's your name?"_

"_Doesn't matter."_

"_I really want to know."_

"_...Why?"_

"_You know you're a pretty good fighter."_

"_...How old are you?"_

"_Fifteen. Why do you ask?"_

"_...You're not that big..."_

He just stared at me.

"_My name is Isabella, but I like Bella."_

"_Bella."_

"_Yes. Now please get _off_ me."_

"_Oh, sorry."_

Leonard stood up in one fluid motion and extended his hand out to help me. At first I just looked at it, but after a second I grabbed it and he helped me up.

His hand was big, practically swallowing mine whole, and while it was warm it was kind of rough – as if they were slightly calloused. I liked the feel of them even as a kid. They felt safe.

It was a silent acknowledgement, that helping hand. We were friends now...sort of...in a way.

After that my life was as good as I thought it could get. I had a great hare-brained mother whom I loved, good grades, a few close friends, a loving dad in the summer, and an amazing brother that bought me a laptop just to keep in touch when he found out I was leaving.

My life was perfect.

That was until the year I turned seventeen.

The year everything changed for the worse.

The year I realized I took everything I had for granted...

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**You know what i really _really_ want, so please....it's right there...just follow the arrows. Hope you liked it :)**

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	2. Chapter 2

**It demanded to be written..unlike my other story...stupid stubborn story... Anyway, hope you enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight - I'm just slightly obsessed with it ;)**

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2:15 a.m.

Are you kidding me?

I haven't gotten more than an hour of sleep – and I went to bed four hours ago! Instead of a much needed REM cycle I was stuck tossing and turning and getting frustrated all night – now morning.

This wasn't anything new for me, though I haven't really gotten around to telling my mom yet. She was oblivious to the fact that I'd rarely got any sleep for the past two months. Thinking this I sent a silent prayer to L'Oreal – I never really wore make-up but their foundation has been coming in really handy as of late. I figured that this was just a really long bug, so I didn't want to stress my mom out by telling her. She's been known to overreact over the years. Sometimes when she did it was so funny I would laugh so hard I ended up on the floor with tears flowing down my cheeks, but other times it was so ridiculous I wanted to bang my head against a brick wall. I figured this situation would be the brick wall one if I told her.

With nothing else to do I grabbed my copy of _Pride and Prejudice_ from off the floor beside my bed. I used to think the "classics" sounded dumb, and not to mention would be impossible to read considering they were written in old-time language, but when I finished _Romeo and _Juliet for freshmen English I was hooked. Many books later I came to the conclusion that Jane Austen was my favorite and _Pride and Prejudice_ was _amazing_. I swear I've read it more times than I count. Besides, it doesn't hurt that while I'm reading it I picture Mr. Darcy as the actor who played him in the 2001 movie version with Kiera Knightly. Yummy.

I was just getting to one of my favorite parts, when Mr. Darcy is telling Ms. Bingley how lovely he thinks Elizabeth's eyes are, when my stomach suddenly started feeling weird. A feeling I'd more familiar with than I liked over the past three weeks. I hugged my stomach, completely abandoning my book, and prayed that it would pass. The stomach pain that made my days seem to drag on sometimes and always kept up at night was a constant. Something that I had gotten used to and learned how to hide. However, the nausea was another story all together. I threw up one night and it just kept happening randomly, but sometimes it would go away, though it was rare when it did.

_Come on, deep even breaths. In. Out. In. Out._

Sitting like that, hunched over with my arms wrapped tightly over my stomach as if that would make it obey me, I tried to distract myself – it usually helped somewhat. It was now 6:45 a.m. I guess I killed more time than I thought. Looking at my laundry basket I noticed that I _really_ need to wash a couple loads tonight. The poor basket was almost overflowing. My walls were the same sunflower yellow they had been when my mom bought our house – maybe I could repaint them soon. But what color? I liked blue, but not bright blue, that would probably keep me up or give me a headache. However, baby blue would be nice – it was a calming yet pretty color.

_Hmm, baby blue walls...black curtains...and maybe some crimson throw pillows. That would be perfect, contrasting yet complimenting at the same time. Perfect harmony._

I thought it was working when my stomach started to calm a little but when it suddenly gave a lurch I sprinted to the bathroom, just barely making it.

Last night's dinner never fully digested apparently.

A few minutes later I was leaning against the toilet trying to control my gasping.

I must have drifted off at some point, because I was jolted awake by the need to close and personal with the toilet again.

There was nothing left in me but that didn't stop the heaving. Instead it only made it worse.

"Bella. Bella, where are – Oh!"

I heard my mom's startled voice behind me but I didn't have the energy to acknowledge it. My body was too busy trying to force everything that was inside of me out. Guts and all.

Renee stood behind me, holding my hair just in case any bile decided to come up. It never did but the gesture was sweet. Leaning against my mom, she half-dragged me down the stairs and onto the living room couch.

Oh, Zoolander it felt nice to give my body a break. I loved the old worn-in couch so much that I wanted to marry the thing. Mrs. Isabella Couch. Yup, that has a nice ring to it.

"Bella, dear, you know you can talk to me about anything right?" Renee asked grudgingly, though you could tell she was trying her best to remain serious.

"Yeah... Mom what's going on?"

A long silence passed. I was beginning to wonder if she would actually tell me or just stand there staring until I said something again. I finally got an answer when she started talking again – even it was kind of rushed when she did.

"I'm concerned about you." Well that was to the point...maybe I was finally rubbing off on Renee. "This is isn't the first time I've woken up to you hunched over the toilet."

"Don't worry mom, I'm sure it's probably just some bug or something. It'll pass," I tried to reassure her, but I don't think it was working.

"Isabella Marie Swan. You cannot expect me to believe that this is just _some bug_. I want to know something right now and you better tell me the truth."

"What do you want to know?" I asked warily. This couldn't be good. I've rarely heard my mom try to use her "parental" tone with me and it was never good. It wasn't helping that she used my full name.

"Are you pregnant?"

"What!?" I spluttered. "Mom. No! Why would you eve –"

It was at this point in the cartoon when the light bulb would turn on over characters head.

Morning sickness.

My mom actually thought that all the porcelain dunking I've been doing was morning sickness. She thought I was _pregnant_. Does she not know me _at all? _I was only seventeen, and on top of that I was still in high school!

"Mom due to the complete and utter awkwardness of all this I'm going to say this _once,_ and _only_ once. I'm a...virgin, and I don't really have any desire to change that status. I've never even been kissed, and don't get me wrong I'm proud of that fact. So just trust me when I say that I'm _not pregnant_." My face felt as if it was as bright red as the throw pillows that I wanted, but at least I got the truth out there.

Renee let out a deep breath and visibly relaxed.

"So you're not pregnant?

"No mom. I promise you're not going to be a grandmother yet."

"Well that's good," she said through a nervous chuckle. "I mean I wouldn't be mad it you were Bella," she sounded like she was trying to clear up a misunderstanding now. "It's just that you're so young, and you're still in school, and you have college to think about..."

"Mom," I decided to interrupt her tirade before she accidently bit her tongue. "It's okay, I understand. I actually agree with you. I mean I _want_ kids...someday. Just not now."

"I can't tell you how much of a relief that is, hun. And just so you know, I can't wait to be a grandmom...someday."

"So are you and Phil going out today?" I asked quickly, hoping my sad attempt to change the subject wasn't that obvious.

"Yes, but he won't tell me where. He said he wants it to be a surprise," she gushed.

I managed to find the energy to laugh a little at this. Renee was more the child in our relationship – rather than the other way around – but I've never actually heard her gush over a boyfriend like some high school girl.

It was sweet – cute almost.

"But you know I can stay home if you want, Bella. I don't know how I feel about you walking around too much after this morning..."

"I'm fine mom, I swear. I honestly think it's just a bug, or virus, or something. In fact I'm starting to feel a little better already."

She looked really worried but she managed a small smile.

"Still...I'd feel a lot better if you went to the doctors. This has been going on too long."

I sighed. Deeply.

I _hated_ the doctors and anything related them. They were embarrassing and unnecessary in my opinion.

"Bella, please. It would help calm my nerves..."

"Fine. Just let me get dressed."

"Oh thank you, sweetie," she said while strangling me with a hug. "I'll call Dr. Demaots' office right now, they should be open."

Much to my disappointment they _were_ open, and twenty short minutes later me and my mom were in the waiting room.

"Isabella Swan," a bored looking nurse in pink scrubs called.

The nurse led us to an examination room in the back.

"Okay, if you'll just hop up on the table for me, I can take your temperature."

Sitting on the "table" I felt the paper crinkle and slide under me when I moved and heard its noise with every slight shift I made. The..._kind_...nurse rammed the thermometer in my ear, probably breaking my eardrum in the process, and wrote it down in my file. In all honesty, my file was pretty thick being as I'm not the most graceful person alive. But hey, some of those memories were fun, even if there was pain involved.

After taking my blood pressure and asking the standard questions, she left me and my mom to wait for Dr. Demaots. We didn't have to wait long this early in the morning.

"Hello Bella, I was wondering when I would see you again," he boldly stated while laughing.

The guy had a death wish. He was my _doctor_ for crying out loud. He wasn't supposed to be making jokes like that with a fake smile plastered all over his face.

However, since my mom was in the room there wasn't much I could do to retaliate...that and my dad drilled the "respect your elders" lesson into me when I was younger.

"So, what seems to be the problem today?" Dr. Demaots asked, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Well, she's been throwing up a lot recently," my mom answered before I could.

"Uh huh, now when would you say this started occurring?" he asked, turning to me.

"Umm, about three weeks ago."

"Isabella! Why didn't you tell me sooner," Renee demanded.

Oops. I would have to deal with that when we got home...

"Okay. Have there been any other symptoms? Anything out of the ordinary?" Dr. Demaots asked, completely ignoring my mother's outburst.

"Umm, I've had this pain in my stomach for about two months now, and I haven't been able to get much sleep since then either – it's like it gets worse at night," I answered watching my mom the whole time. She looked more upset than mad.

"Hmm...Okay, Isabella, I'm going to need you to lay down and lift your shirt for me if you could."

I did what he asked, and he started prodding my stomach. Dr. Demaots paid a little more attention to my right side than he did my left, but either way he looked aggravated the whole time.

"Isabella, with your mother's consent I would like to get a CT scan of your abdomen," he said turning around to face my mom.

"Yes, that's okay. Um, what do you think it is?.."

"Well, I can't be certain yet, but we should know more after we get the results from the scan. I'll call the hospital and inform them that you're coming."

After Dr. Demaots left me and my mom just stared at each other. Neither one of us wanting to talk.

I had a really bad feeling about this.

When we got to the hospital that Dr. Demaots told us to go to me and my mom were stuck waiting for a long while. Finally a nurse came and helped me get ready for my scan – at least she was much nicer than the one at the doctor's office.

When she led me to the machine I was shocked. It wasn't as big as I was inspecting it to be – just a table and a wall with a giant circle hole in it – but somehow it managed to be much more intimidating in person than it was on television. Apparently my addiction to _House_ wasn't going to be coming in handy today.

Laying down on the cold table, I was informed that I should try my best not to breathe during the scan – I guess it might blur the pictures. As the table began to slide into the machine I started to get a little scared. Did I mention I was claustrophobic? It's gotten better as I grew up, but I never completely got over it. I tried not to breathe as I was silently freaking out, thinking that the giant circle would suddenly break and collapse right when my was going through it. Not fun.

It felt like I'd been going in and out of that machine for a life time, but when I was done and I looked at the clock only thirty minutes had passed.

As I changed back into the clothes I came in, the nurse told my mom that the results had been sent to Dr. Demaots and that we would have to go back to him to find out the results for ourselves.

Time for more waiting, I guess.

Surprisingly when me and my mom got to his office the nurse immediately called us in to the back, even though the waiting room already had a few people in it.

I didn't take this as a good sign. Especially when the rude nurse from earlier was suddenly acting all happy-go-lucky towards me.

Not ten seconds after the nurse left Dr. Demaots came through the door, with another fake smile on his face. I tried not to imagine punching him...it sounded fun.

"Renee, Isabella," he acknowledged with a nod. "Well it looks like your CT scan went well – no complications."

"Then she's alright?" my mom asked. It was hard not to notice the hint of desperation in her voice.

Dr. Demaots let out a deep breath before pausing to answer.

"Well, I don't know how to say this, especially considering that there is no _easy_ way to say this... The Ct scan went well, yes; however, I'm afraid that the results aren't good..."

"Tell us already," I demanded. He was stalling and it was pissing me off.

"Isabella I'm afraid that you have pancreatic cancer. From what I can tell it's already at a stage 3 – which means that the cancer has already spread to your lymphatic system."

I wasn't listening anymore. I _couldn't_ listen anymore. I was frozen – lost in myself. I didn't want to find a way out anytime soon...

"Now there's treatment," Dr. Demaots continued. "You could always look into chemotherapy, and surgery is a possibility with this kind of cancer. You would have to get a few more tests done at the hospital, but –"

"Are you sure? This can't be, she looks fine – all Bella did was throw up a couple times..."

"Yes. I'm sure."

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**I am on my knees begging here. Just 5 reviews. That's all I'm asking for, please... 5 reviews and I promise to post the next chapter tomorrow. All you have to do is follow the arrow and you could get chapter three tomorrow instead of next Saturday...**

****Come on people!! Just one more review! You can do it ;)  
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	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Exam week. Sorry. But to reward for getting 5 reviews and make up on not updating when promised I made this chapter extra super long! **

**So without furth****er adéu I pr****esent the third chapter and hope that you like it :)**

**Disclaimer: No I am not Stephenie Meyer, so I do not own anything Twilight related in this story. Though I do own Leonard - don't ask me how I came up with his name, I don't even know...it just kind of made itself ;)  
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"I'm not doing it mom!"

"Why not? Isabella his could _help_ you!"

"No it –"

"Bella, the doctor said that the chemo _could_ help. Honestly, I don't know where you're getting the idea that it won't."

Me and Renee had been having his conversation for the past four days – since I first got admitted into the hospital. Her and all the annoying doctors that felt the need to jab me with something kept trying to convince that chemotherapy was the way to go. I swear it's like they were tag-teaming or something.

I haven't had much time to just think, considering that after Dr. Demaots told me I had a some_thing _living inside me – something killing me – I'd been rushed to the hospital again and put through numerous tests. They said they wanted to make sure that it wasn't a wrong diagnosis. I think they were either happy to waste my mom's very hard earned money – she's just a kindergarten teacher so we're not exactly rolling in dough – or they were in denial.

I didn't understand. I accepted it.

Did I feel like I was attacked by a facehugger from _Alien vs. Predator_ in my sleep?

Yes.

Was I afraid of dying?

Yes. I was only seventeen for Pete's sake – there was so much that I hadn't done yet...

But the awful, and blunt, truth was that I had accepted the fact that I probably wouldn't be alive much longer. If I could, then why couldn't strangers who didn't even know me?

Releasing a sigh I tried to order my thoughts.

"Mom, I know what you and the doctors told me, but I looked it up, and the thing is that the cancer has spread to much for the chemo to really have an affect... I _don't_ want to pump my body full of chemicals, especially when they have no purpose – when they won't even do anything," I tried to keep my voice gentle but I couldn't keep some of the frustration from leaking into at the end.

I knew telling her this would hurt her, but I _had_ to say it. I just couldn't...I mean this was...there was just no...

Great, my thoughts weren't even making sense anymore.

Looking up at my mom I saw the tears that were overflowing now. It broke my heart to see my mom so upset. She looked so fragile.

"Mom, I'm pretty tired, so could we finish this in the morning? Maybe you could go see Phil. I know he hasn't seen you in a while – I bet he misses you."

She hesitated, but then nodded.

"Goodnight, Bella. I'll be back first thing tomorrow," she said while giving me a death grip hug – I didn't mind it so much anymore.

A nurse came in while Renee was leaving. Checking all the machines I was hooked up to. Oddly enough the steady beep of my heart monitor was what lulled me to sleep most nights.

"Um, excuse me, does the hospital have wireless internet?" I asked.

"Yes, it does sweetie, but you should really get some sleep soon."

"I know, I wasn't planning on staying up long – I just wanted to check my e-mail."

"Okay. Don't be afraid to tell us if something's wrong or if you just feel funny."

"Thank you."

When I found out that I would be staying in the hospital for who knows how many days I asked my mom to bring me my laptop from home. She happily agreed. So, as soon as the nurse left I started up the lap top my brother got me all those years ago. It was an old thing – I nicknamed it "The Dinosaur" – but it was sturdy and held lots of memories for me.

Connecting to the internet took a little while, but soon enough I was on my Yahoo! account.

Leo wasn't on messenger, so I really was going to have to e-mail him.

_Hey Leo,_

_What you been up to dork? Enjoying college life? The professors still handing out bitch loads of assignments?  
_

_Listen there's something that I really need to tell you, but it's the kind of thing that makes people looks like a dickhead when they say it through an e-mail. So anyway, when you get some free time just e-mail me and I'll call you. –There's no one at home to answer the phone so don't bother trying that—_

_If you could give me Charlie's number too that would helpful – I have news for him too but I lost his number. _

_Lots of love,_

_Lizzy_

I knew using the nickname he gave me would keep him from thinking that anything was wrong. I didn't want him to find until I told him, no matter how hard it would be. And there was my dad – how was I supposed to tell him? I know we didn't see each other much but that didn't mean that we didn't mean we hated each other.

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"Bella? Bella, sweetie, come on. You have to wake up now."

"Mom? What are you doing here? Ugh, what time is it?" I asked while rubbing the sleep from my eyes. To say I wasn't a morning person was putting it lightly. It took me an average of thirty minutes to get out of bed to get ready for school. Now that I was finally _getting_ some sleep, I wanted to be angry at my mom for waking me up. However, the logical part of my brain was screaming at the bitchy part that she wouldn't be doing this unless it was important.

"It's a little after eleven. Listen Bella, there's something that we need to tell you...I just...It's important..."

My mom was sobbing as Phil hurried across the room to hold her. Trying to calm her down.

"Mom, it's fine. It's going to be okay." I tried to rub her back, to convince her that it was okay...whatever _it_ was.

"Phil...I can't...could you..." Renee managed to say between sobs.

I looked up at Phil, hoping he would be able to tell me, but he only met my eyes for a few seconds before looking down.

"Listen Isabelle...um...crap. Well, see...well me and your mother talked to the doctors about you _not_ doing chemo, and they told us that... Well they said that if you decided not to do it then the chance of you...living...for more than a year was _– _well that it was pretty much impossible."

"A year," I murmured.

"Bella, hunny, _please_ reconsider doing chemotherapy. It isn't that bad. We _– _me and Phil _–_ talked to some of the doctors about it and they said...they said..." My mom had to break midrant to take many deep breaths. "They said that you might get a few side affects but nothing too serious. They said it could really help..."

"Mom, I'm sorry, but I'm not changing my mind. I can't and I won't do it."

"Isabella Swan! I am your mother, and I say that you're doing it..." She started out screaming, but was down to a whisper by the end.

I _hated_ seeing my mom like this. Especially knowing that I'm the one that caused it. Maybe she would calm down if she had a break _– _maybe something like a mini vacation...

That's when it hit me. The hardest yet easiest decision I'd probably ever have to make. I wanted to think about it, think about all of the consequences and how much it would change my life, but I knew that I didn't have anymore time to waste. For me time was running out.

"I want to go home," I said quietly.

"The doctors said you could go home tonight if you wanted _– _there's nothing more they can do," Phil said over my mother's head. She was still clinging to him, but her sobs had quieted.

"Mom. Mom look at me." I only continued when she finally met my eyes. "Mom I want to go live with dad. In Forks."

"What?" she gasped.

"Isabella, now isn't the time –"

"No Phil. You can't tell me what to do. Mom, I'm sorry but I want to go live with Ch – dad. I think it would do everyone some good. Besides then I could tell him and Leo in person, instead of over the phone like some wimp." I tried to smile but I think it came out as more of a grimace.

"But, sweetie, you hate Forks," my mom protested.

"It's not so bad... Who knows maybe I might even like it now." I let out a deep sigh. "Mom no matter what you say I already made my decision. I'm going." I said all this with a soft smile hoping she would understand that I wasn't trying to hurt her. I honestly think that some time away, some time to process everything, would be best for all of us. Renee especially.

After that the next few days passed in a blur, and before I knew it I was being crushed by my mom in the airport.

"Mom, I really have to go or I'll miss my flight." I tried to pry her arms off but it just seemed to have the opposite effect.

"Just promise me you'll call or e-mail or text if you need anything. And I mean _anything._"

"Mom you don't have texting," I said while laughing. "But sure, I promise to call if I need anything."

"Thank you Bella. And don't be afraid to come home if you want to..."

"I promise. Bye mom, I'll miss you."

"I'm going to miss you too hunny," she said as she finally let me go.

A few dreadful and dull hours later I was in the parking lot looking for Charlie's cruiser. I swear he thought of that car as his manhood.

"LIZZIE!!" A voice from my memories yelled. I turned to see Leo getting out of his car with my dad getting out of the passenger side.

Saying screw it to my luggage I dumped it all on the wet ground and ran to my brother – jumping on him when I was close enough.

He caught me as if we had practiced it...well we _did _do it often enough over the years.

"Okay you two, enough of that," Charlie said, looking as if he thought the whole thing was a little awkward.

I was laughing while Leo set me down, and went to hug my dad. He did the pat on the back thing. Guess he still had trouble with showing affection, but I didn't mind. That's just how he is – what makes him Charlie.

The guys threw my three suitcases in Leo's trunk before we started back towards Forks. My new home. At least for the next year...

When we finally made it back I looked around and realized nothing had changed. Not the dark green of the living room walls, the beat up couch, not even the yellow cabinets in the kitchen. Though I did see my school pictures above the fireplace – I would have to do something about those, or maybe something _to_ them. Insert evil laugh here.

"So, Bella why the sudden relocation?" Leo asked as him and my dad came into the living room.

And so I told them – I let everything out. When I first started getting the pain in my stomach, when I couldn't sleep, when I started fainting, the vomiting, and finally the trip to the doctor's office that started this whirlwind. By the time I finished I was sitting in Leo's lap with his arms around me – he did this when I got to the part about the CT scan – and both men had tears tracks down their cheeks.

Charlie was the first one to break the silence. "Bella..." He swallowed thickly. "Bella I don't give a damn what you say, you _are _going through with the chemo and that is final."

This was definitely not what I expected to be the first thing he would say.

"Dad you don't underst –"

"You're right, I don't understand! My only daughter has cancer and she's refusing the only thing that could help her?! You think I would understand the convoluted logic of a teenager?"

"I understand," Leo said so quietly it was almost a whisper. I was relieved at this, after all me and Leo always seemed to know what the other was thinking – we were just that in sync.

"What? I don't want to hear it Leonard. This is insane," my dad was almost yelling again.

"I'm not saying it isn't. I'm simply saying that I understand what Bella is thinking, but I never said that I agree with it."

"What?" I asked shocked. "But Leo –"

"Isabella." He had my attention now – he _never_ used my full name unless it was serious. "This could help you. A year? No. I won't let that happen. If you did the chemo you might get more time. You have to see this." His expression was serious but the look in his eyes was pleading.

I felt my will start to crumble under those eyes.

"Isabella Marie Swan." I broke away from Leo's gaze to look at my dad. "If you want to live in this house you _will_ get the chemo and I will _not_ hear one complaint about it from you. You understand?" He was the same as Leo – his face was etched with lines of anger but his eyes were pleading with me to just agree to his terms.

Why did these two have so much more power over me than my mother?

Burying my face in Leo's chest I nodded once. In all honesty it probably looked like I was twitching.

Again, time passed by in a blur...or was a F5 tornado more correct? Charlie found this really good doctor that specialized in chemotherapy in Seattle, Leonard helped me enroll into Forks High – making fun of me the whole time – and then he took me to some stores in Port Angeles to upgrade my wardrobe – apparently it didn't meet his "B.A. factor" – but I didn't mind it too much. Leo always made shopping fun.

Through all this I was glad that they were still treating me the same. Like nothing was wrong. Like I didn't have cancer. When I was with my mom she hardly let me do anything, but Leo and Charlie acted the same – though they didn't quite laugh as much when I tripped or walked into a wall, but for that I was thankful.

But like I said, time passed in a blur, and I was soon met with the horrors of being a teenager.

˳̊

First day of school. In the middle of the trimester. In a _small_ school.

Yummy.

_Come on! Quit being a baby and open the door. Just breathe. Hold your chin high. After all, the sooner you get in there the sooner the school day ends, and that means the sooner you can go home. _

Taking a deep breath I squared my shoulders, and pushed open the dented brown metal door to the cafeteria.

Almost instantly all conversation stopped.

_I guess that doesn't just happen in the movies..._

I was never one for attention, so I was more than terrified at having all these people staring at me.

_Just like dad always says: never let them see you sweat._

I spotted the food bar on the opposite end of the room and told my muscles to stop their frantic bitching and move. Every one stared and whispered as I passed, but none of them came up and actually talked _to_ me.

I really hated small towns...

There were all your typical school cafeteria foods being served, no surprise. I just about to grab a slice of pepperoni pizza when I saw_ it_. My favorite lunch that I usually got every day back in Phoenix. Smucker's Uncrustables. And not those gross grape jelly ones, but the heavenly sent _strawberry_ ones. Oh, and don't even get me started on the honey and peanut butter ones. Seriously? That's just gross. I tried one once and it was sticky and messy and the sweetness of the honey clashed with the smooth thick peanut butter taste...it was a bad experience. But my friends did get great pictures of the fiasco – wink, wink.

The bastards wouldn't let me burn them.

I made my way through the rest of the line after finding an Uncrustables with _soft_ bread and ended up snagging a strawberry milk and mozzarella cheese stick. Who knew I could get the exact same meal I got in Phoenix up here in Forks. Maybe this school wasn't _so_ bad after all.

After paying I looked around and I realized there weren't any empty tables, so I just ventured to the one with the least people – after all you take what you can get. Though if I may add this little bit of Bellaosophy when life gives me lemons I don't make lemonade – I throw them at the person annoying me. It's much more satisfying. Anyway only half the table was deserted so I sat farthest from the others – not wanting to be rude by seeming as if I was trying to force myself into their group.

I was too engrossed in my sandwich – I liked to squeeze the jelly to the front, spreading it out so to speak – that I didn't really take notice to the people I was sharing a table with until I heard one of them laughing.

Peeling off the "crust" I looked up and what I saw left me stunned.

There sitting on the opposite end of the table from me where the five most beautiful people I had ever seen.

And they were all staring at me – well _some _were staring...

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**I'm going to be selfish and wish for 7 reviews :) You know what they say: The more reviews the faster the update ;) So screw the Yellow Brick Road and follow my pretty little arrow **–** it'll bring you joy in the form of the next installment...**

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	4. Help Please!

**Skip this!  
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**Just continue on reading ^^  
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**Enjoy**

**- Mary Weather  
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	5. Chapter 4

***To answer some recent questions/obvious: **

** ~Bella doesn't think that chemo will help because her cancer is too far along, it's already spread too much, so it can't really save her - it'll only prolong her time a little. **

** ~As stated in summary this is OOC :) and yes, the Cullens are vampires in this story. Wonder what Bella will be... ;)  
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**~Sorry, if you don't like the way it's progressing, it's just the way the story wanted to be written.**

****I'm dedicating this chapter to GreenEyes555 - She reminded me of some pivotal characters and got the mental juice flowing. Thanks - You might be hearing from me again in the future! And I'm glad you liked the excerpt ;)**

**Disclaimer: Once again, I'm not S. Meyer - therefore I don't own anything Twilight related.  
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_Oh my dear sweet Jesus._

All coherent thoughts left my mind when I saw them.

They were so...so.. They were so _inhuman_. Their beauty surpassed every model out there, even Abercrombie and Fitch - yes, I didn't think it was possible either.

There were five of them and they looked so similar yet different at the same time it was baffling. Every single one of them had _white _skin. It was like Frosty the Snowman came to life, got hot n' heavy with some Snowchic, and _bam! _Out came their sexy kids. Looking closer my theory, however eccentric, didn't seem to off the mark - they all had coals for eyes. They were so black it looked like they didn't have pupils.

As I was openly gaping at them they were...well...they were all looking at me differently.

My attention was first caught by the Sport Illustrator babe. Her body was the male epitome of perfection in it's almost perfect hour-glass symmetry. The thick blonde wavey hair that fell down her back wasn't helping either. Looking at her expression I could tell that this blonde fit the stero-typical bitch. The chick was glaring at me like I was Damien from _The Omen_. Fearing for my life, and trying my hardest not to show it, I turned my attention to the girl sitting next to her.

Faery. Not bitch. Not snob. Just faery. The little faery gave off an aura of bouncy, bundled excitement. Her hair was short and black and formed perfect spikes of all sizes that went in ever which direction. Unlike the girl sitting next to her the little faery wasn't glaring at me. To be specific she wasn't looking at me at all. Instead her eyes looked distant, almost as if she wasn't seeing anything in front of her but instead focusing on some thought... She looked vacant - which compared to the energy vibe she was giving off was starting to creep me out a little.

Next to her was a shaggy honey blonde. He gave nothing away. He was just staring at me like Leo did all those years ago. But I did notice that he holding the tiny girl's hand - rather tightly I might add. I was just waiting for it to break... Poor faery's hand.

The one closest to me had a bunch of dark brown curls on his head, he wasn't smiling but it looked as if he was trying to keep amusement off his face. Though all of that was quickly pushed to the back of my mind when I looked down and saw the rest of him. His muscles had muscles - and they were everywhere. At first it was intimidating, I mean seriously how could it not be? But then I remembered an episode of Spongebob Squarepants I saw the other day. Spongebob got these balloon muscles and they ended up exploding from getting too big - I almost fell off the couch from laughing so much. I was biting my lip - hard - trying to not laugh again when I heard something that sounded like a growl come from beside him.

Trapped in one of the giants arms was Adonis himself. Okay screw that. He was what Adonis _wanted _to look like. He had the most beautiful bronze hair, the longest eye lashes, and all of his features - his nose, his jaw, his cheek bones - were amazingly defined. Under normal circumstances I would've started drooling at this point, but _his_ look froze me to the spot. The bitchy blonde had nothing on the glare he was giving me.

I distantly heard the smack my sandwich made as it fell from my newly frozen fingers. As I stared right back at him - trapped in his gaze just like he was trapped in the giants arm - I could feel my blood turn cold and the tiny hairs on the back of my neck raise. The angel of death looked liked he wanted to rip my head off and drink my blood. Spongebob could not fix this one...

_Come on, never let them see you sweat Bella. You did nothing wrong - he's just some random jerk. _

Inner-Bella's logic was starting to thaw out my muscles. She..well I...was right. I didn't do anything wrong. I was just sitting here eating my sandwich and two-fifths of these jerks think they can just instantly hate me with a reason? Hah! They had no idea the can-of-bats they just opened. Yes, I say can-of-bats. I mean seriously how much damage can a can-of-_worms_ do? But bats? Cram a few of those suckers in a can and you're in for more than a few bites and scratches.

"Can I help you?" I asked no one in particular, my voice laced with annoyance.

_God I hope I don't sound like a bitch. I hate bitches. They're just annoying chicks with to high of an ego and no bite to back up the bark._

Awkward silence took over for a moment, but suddenly the Jolly Giant broke it with his booming laughter. The same laughter that caught my attention earlier.

The others around him stiffened with the sound. However, for me it only served to fuel my irritation at these amazingly good looking strangers.

"What are you laughing at?" I asked him with less annoyance than earlier, as I was suddenly beginning to wonder about his sanity.

"You. Isn't it obvious?" came his reply as he continued to laugh at God knows what about me. Oddly enough it didn't sound like an insult - it just sounded like an answer.

I opened my mouth to tell him off when I was interrupted by the screech of the chair in front of me being slid across the floor.

Looking over to see who it was I was met with dull blue eyes and blonde spiky hair that looked as if it was spackled in hair gel.

"Hey, I'm Mike Newton. You're Isabella Swan, right?"

"Bella. Hi Mike, nice to meet you," I replied nicely though I was still irritated on the inside. I wanted to know what their problem was…

"Bella. Well I noticed that you were sitting over here by yourself so I thought I'd come introduce myself, and see if you wanted to sit with me and my friends," he asked nothing but hopeful. Seriously - his eyes were hopeful, his voice was hopeful, hell he looked like he was one number away from winning the lottery. His eagerness was making me worry that he might start following me around like a golden retriever.

"Um, sure, I guess." I didn't really want to but maybe I could find out who Frosty's love children were.

"Cool." Insert tacky blinding smile here. "We're just over here."

Collecting my things I followed Mike over table practically on the other side of the room.

"Hey guys, this is Bella. Bella this is Lauren, Jessica, Tyler and Angela," Mike pointed to each person as he said their name. Lauren was yet another blonde bitch - though she looked less menacing - Jessica looked like a gossip-monger with two inches of brown curly hair, Tyler looked like wanna-be-player - the smile he was giving me, which he probably thought was sexy, was giving me the creepy-crawlies - but Angela looked really sweet - I could see myself becoming good friends with her.

I sat down next to Mike - it was the only seat open - and sipped on my strawberry milk.

"Oh my god, I don't know how you could stand to sit over there for so long." I looked up to see that Jessica was talking. Her voice sound kind of sounded like she had a nasal problem… Yummy.

"What do you mean," I asked genuinely confused.

"Oh my gosh! That's right, you don't know," she said while laughing. I had the suspicion that she was laughing at me. _What_ was with these people and laughing at me today? Was there a sign on my back or something? Was it some unspoken rule, "laugh at the new kid"?

"That over there, the people you were sitting next to, they're the Cullens," Jessica continued - oblivious to the mini-rant going on inside my head. "They were adopted by Carlisle and Esme because they can't have kids of their own." All of this was spoken as we were some conspirators or something - as if it was the woman, Esme, fault that she couldn't have kids. The nerve of her! Misinterpreting my anger for interest how that was possible I have _no frickin'_ idea - Jessica leaned in close to me and continued with her "lessen."

"The big one, his name is Emmett, he's dating the blonde girl, Rosalie Hale. Now the blond guy, the one that looks like he's in pain all the time, they're cousins. He's dating the little black haired girl next to him - her name is Alice. See they're like together, _together._ All of them. Except Edward that is, he's the one with the bronze hair. Apparently no here is good enough for him though." That last part made me want to laugh - Jessica looked like she just sucked on lemon.

_Hmm, wonder when he shot her down…_

I turned my head away as I bit back a smile…and maybe a little laugh.

After my amusement as Jessica's expense - something might I add that I was _not_ ashamed of, this girl seriously only cared about bashing on others - I started to feel a little bad. At what? I wasn't really sure myself but I knew it was solely towards the _Mysterious Cullens _- my nickname for them. I felt it was very fitting. Just by looking at them suggested that there was something beneath the surface. Something they were keeping to themselves. Hearing their story only fueled that feeling.

"When did they move here?" I asked Jessica once I was facing here again. Surely I hadn't seen them when I used to come here, and Charlie never mention them when we had our Summer get-togethers.

"Like two years ago. Apparently they moved down from Alaska - I guess they were staying with distant family, or friends, or something."

Turning back to look at them, I started to feel worse. Not only were they still new - in small towns news like a new family doesn't die in just two years - but they were treated as outcast. They looked gorgeous and yet were ostracized because their beauty was so great it was almost alien, and to top that off they were looked at with scandalous-scorn because they happened to fall in love with their adopted siblings.

Adopted. No blood relation. Nothing wrong or weird.

I was pissed now.

_Damn mood swings. Next thing I know I'll start busting out in tears. Maybe it's lack of sleep._

I couldn't take this. It was wrong and stupid on so many different levels. Thinking back to when I was in the hospital, when Phil and Renee told me I only had a year to live, thinking of the silent promise I made to myself… I snapped. I was bold and I was confident.

I was _not_ the old Bella I was a few months ago.

Standing up and gathering my lunch - there was till ten minutes left of lunch - I told Jessica what I thought. Simple as that.

"Thanks for the information, but I think I'm going to leave. I don't like people who not only gossip as if everything was their business, as if it was their _right_ to spread lies, but I also don't like people who judge others solely on what they heard instead of actually getting to _know _them. So thanks for telling me the "dirty-laundry" of the Cullen family, but I don't think I'll pass it along. In fact I think I'm going to just forget everything you just said."

With that I walked over to the seat I had earlier. The same one next to the Cullens.

I lied. I wasn't going to forget _everything _- I'm hoping she at least got the names right - so I would at least remember that much.

_Dumb red-hatter. _

Bellaosophy time…well definition time. Me and my brother twisted the saying "gossip like an old woman" into our own slanderous nickname - only we know what it means. See most old woman join the Red Hat Society, so if you gossip like an old woman, you gossip like a Red-Hatter - you know, since they literally wear red hats to their meetings.

In all honesty I think it's kind of cute. I remember when I was little I told myself when I got older I would join too…

Sighing at the direction my thoughts were talking I suddenly lost all appetite for my once appealing lunch. Instead I just sat there staring at it, wondering exactly how many shades of pink exist in the world… My drink was pink, the milk wrapper was pink, the jelly was pink, the sandwich wrapper was pink, and _all_ of them were a different shade from the other.

Needing a distraction I looked over at the Cullens again.

Again almost the same situation.

_All _of them were looking at me. Not glaring, not staring off into space. Just staring at me as if I discovered two plus two equaled five. I swear Emmett's mouth was even hanging open.

_What it with these people and staring at me? …What's with me and staring at them?_

I was about to introduce myself - even though I was sure they already knew, I still felt it was polite - when the bell suddenly sounded, effectively making jump almost a foot in the air. I was surprised I didn't topple out of my seat.

Emmett's booming laugh rang through the cafeteria again, and I _think _I saw Rosalie crack a smile - albeit it was an evil smile, but it was a smile nonetheless . For some reason I felt a weird hope begin to grow inside me.

_Maybe we can friends…someday…_

Getting up I threw the rest of my lunch away as I headed off to my next class.

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**I'm so proud of you guys! Always had faith in ya :D Got 8 reviews on the story!! Again, I'm going to be selfish. Lets see if we can get 10 reviews this time! All you have to do is take 20 seconds after you finish to follow my favorite arrow. It can be mean - I do have a backbone - it can be a question, it can even be one word! Hope you liked it :)**

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	6. Chapter 5

**A/N: So sorry this took forever - my damn computer crashed...piece of junk... Personally, I think that the story is crawling a little bit but I promise it'll pick up soon. I already have future chapters written to prove it - bwhahaha  
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**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all Twilight related things in the story, because she fuckin' rocks. Simple as that ;)**

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Leaving the cafeteria I rummaged through my messenger bag trying to find my schedule. It was a dark teal and chocolate brown mix - the brown making butterflies, and stars, and swirls. I didn't like it very much but Renee got it for me as a good luck present before I left. I didn't have the heart to tell her I wanted to dye the thing black - she just looked so excited and couldn't stop talking about how it was on sale and the last one there.

I may not be a push-over any more but I _do_ have a heart. So I went on about how I loved it and it was perfect. To my great surprise the thing was actually starting to grow on me - I even added a few pins to the cover flap.

The down thing about it. I had trouble finding anything since I kind of just threw things in there. It was slightly a mess. Well actually there was nothing slight about it - a person could get lost in the wasteland in my bag.

_Dang. I can't be late on my first day…well _later. _Dad might just kill me for this morning. _

"Hey Bella!"

I turned around to see who it was, but I did it too fast. I felt myself getting dizzy, could see the black spots dancing across my vision and hear the high-pitch noise that was almost a screech. Before I could fall on my butt I felt someone's arm go around my waist - holding me.

"Whoa. You okay there, Bella?"

"I'm fine," I stated as I tried to stand on my own. They were holding me a little to closely for my taste.

The spots slowly left - as if someone was dusting off my vision. Even before they were fully gone I could vaguely make out dull blue eyes and concrete hair.

Mike Newton.

"Oh, hey Mike. Thanks for saving me." I could feel my face getting hotter with the massive blush that was no doubt making an appearance.

"No problem. So anyway, what class do you have next?"

"I don't know, I was just trying to find my schedule," I answered as I continued my search for the yellow piece of paper. "Oh, thank God! Okay…um, I have A.P. Chemistry with Mr. Moreno in building 5. Ew."

"You do? That's great, so do I! I'll walk you there."

We walked in an uncomfortable silence for awhile. I was more than happy to keep it up, we were almost in the building now, but Mike decided to break it.

"Um, so, I wanted to - uh - what you said to Jessica…that was cool."

"Um…thanks?" I didn't really know what to say to that. I was still new to the whole "get a back-bone" concept so I was a little afraid that I came off _too _mean, when in fact I didn't want to be mean in the first place. But just by hearing her talk for about five minutes I knew that being snarky - yes, that's a real word, Google that shit - was the only way that she would actually hear what I was saying to her. It didn't hurt that thanks to Leo I was wasn't a novice when it came to sarcasm.

"No, really. I mean no one's ever talked to her that way and I thought that it was very cool of you." He was looking at me like what he thought of me mattered as much as breathing did. It took all my self-control not to start giggling.

It was ridiculous and annoying, but adding his obliviousness to the mix, and he actually looked kind of adorable. Like a little puppy. I wanted to pat his head.

"Hey Rico, I'd like you to meet the new girl," Mike called out as we walked into the already full classroom. I swear people here have never heard of last minute rushing - I'm officially a pro at power-walking at this point.

"Mike during school I'm Mr. Moreno - I've told you that," said a tall man who I assumed was the teacher. He wasn't that bad looking but I wouldn't fantasize about him. He was tan with a black buz-cut and goatee thing. I could tell that Mike calling him Rico was something that he got onto him about often.

"Mike you should get into your seat class is about to begin. Hello, you must be Isabella," he said turning to me. "Follow me and I'll get you a book." The class was pretty full - there were only two empty seats. "Here you go. You can just sit over there in the chair next to the aisle - the other seat belongs to Mr. Cullen but I guess he's absent today."

"Um, it's Bella."

"What?" he asked confused.

"I prefer to be called Bella, please."

"Okay," he smiled as he walked to the front of the class.

_So there's a Cullen in this class, I wonder which one… _I thought as I took my seat. He said "Mr." so it has to be one of the guys. Maybe they would do more than just stare at when they're here. God, that would be awkward.

Mr. Moreno was going on about Transverse and Horizontal waves - something I already learned about back in Phoenix. The class passed by in one big sluggish blur while I thought about which Cullen I would be sitting next to when he finally showed up.

"Hey, Bella."

I looked over to see an eager Mike standing next to my desk when class was over. Yup, he was definitely a puppy.

"Hey Mike."

"So you like Rico's class? He's just about the coolest teacher here. Very easy too. So what class do you have next?"

"Um, I have gym."

_For the love of all that's frickin' holy. This school is trying to kill me! _

"You do? That's awesome!" Was he going to do this every time he found out we shared a class? It was a small school - us having a few classes together was inevitable. The urge to hurt myself was getting stronger.

Gym was actually better than I thought it would be. Mainly because I didn't have to play today since I wouldn't be able to get a uniform till the next day. It wasn't so much that I was clumsy _all_ the time, it was more like my equilibrium was picky. I could play soccer like a beast and there were some types of dancing that I could do effortlessly - like waltzing, but that's another story all together - but when I try to walk across a flat sable surface and there was a ninety-nine percent chance that I would face-plant. I didn't understand it.

Instead of going home after school I decided to go to the grocery store. I didn't really have time to go during the time when I was here, what with trying to get everything settled and all, but I knew I had to do it soon when there was nothing but sandwich meat for dinner and absolutely nothing for breakfast. Honestly I had no idea how Charlie's survived on his own for this long. It's a miracle to say the least.

It took a little while but after driving around aimlessly for about ten minutes I saw the familiar _Meijer_ sign. An hour later I was pushing my cart out of the store and it was full of _everything. _There was nothing we would need for awhile…okay more like a months tops but that didn't make me feel as B.A. After making it home and three trips in and out later I was in the middle of making lasagna - one of my many favorites.

"Bella?" I heard Charlie ask from the front hallway.

"In the kitchen dad!"

"Hey, something smells good," he smiled as he stuck his noise up and breathed in. My dad loved dramatics, it always made things fun.

"Thanks," I said smiling. "Dinner should be done in about, oh I don't know…twenty minutes. You can go watch t.v. - I'll call you when it's done."

"Thanks Bells."

While the food was cooking I went upstairs to my room and turned on my laptop - my mom made Charlie get internet so she could still talk to me. After signing into my _Yahoo!_ account I found I had not two, not three, but _five_ new emails - all from my mom. I decided to work my way up to the latest ones - read the paranoia progress. I not mean, just easily entertained. Insert evil smirk here.

_Bella, hey it's mom! How are you liking Forks? Is it raining? Me and Phil are doing great. Oh! I joined a new Pilates club, my old one was getting boring. I miss you. Write back soon! Phil says hi._

_Love you tons, Mom_

It took three. Three emails in and she was freaking out. Poor Renee. _I_

_Isabella why haven't you written me back yet? You've been there for two days already? Are you okay? Do you hate it? Did something happen? If I don't get an email by tomorrow night I'm calling Charlie. I mean it._

_Mom_

I went through and deleted the rest - not bothering to read them - and opened up and blank email so I put my mom out of her worries.

_Mom,_

_I'm okay. Breathe. In. Out. In. Out. Just relax. _

_Forks is fine - still the same as from when I was little. Of course it's raining, but it isn't that bad once you get used it, or so I've heard. That's great - are you liking anyone there? I have to go finish making dinner so I'll talk to you later. Tell Phil I said hi as well. _

_Love ya,_

_Bella_

Rushing down stairs I attacked the fridge - getting things out to make a salad - and took the lasagna out of the oven. It was perfect - all the cheese was gooey and not crispy burnt. I think my best yet. …I tend to forget about time and burn a lot of what I cook - but I can proudly say that I'm getting better at it. I just have to _remember _that I'm cooking something.

"Dad dinner's done," I called out in the general direction of the living room.

Me and Charlie ate in a comfortable silence - something I could tell would be a regular thing for us - but I didn't mind. That was something that me and my dad had in common - we didn't need to fill the silence, we liked it just the way it was.

After dinner I did the dishes, finished my homework, and got ready for bed - my new routine. I maybe…might have…_some _OCD tendencies - it wasn't a bad thing, but it made me need some sort of routine in my life - any routine that could act as a constant really.

Unlike the past couple of days here sleep didn't come so easily tonight. Lately I've been so busy running around and getting everything in order that as soon as my head hit the pillow I was out cold. Sometimes exhaustion was a very good thing. And to add to my bonus list I've only fainted three times and thrown up once - things were definitely getting better.

It was raining hard outside, a sound that I'm still not too accustomed with, so that was keeping me from beautiful REM, but if I was being completely honest what was _really_ keeping me awake was the pain. At night t just seemed to get worse for some reason and tonight was _not_ one of my better moments. I felt like I was being sucker punched and stabbed with a burning knife all at the same time. I was considering banging my head against a wall until I was unconscious just to get away from it. So just like back in Phoenix, I laid there tossing and turning to try and get comfortable and curling into the fetal position when it increased from moving too much.

It felt only second passed when sleep finally managed to drag me under with its black claws, but the next thing I knew I was beating the shit out of my alarm clock.

The morning passed much like the one that day before, but this time I was a little excited. It wasn't for school, God no it wasn't for school, but I _was_ curious about the Cullens. I wanted to get to know them - except maybe Rosalie. She made me fear for my life like nothing else did. It would be nice to get to know them…and maybe my curiosity would wake me up a little more.

I moved experimentally to see if I was in the clear and did a more than embarrassing happy dance when I didn't feel the sucker punches or the knife. After rushing through my shower I skipped to my room and rummaged through my cluttered closet. Somehow, even though I haven't even been here a week yet, I managed to destroy the inside of my book bag _and_ my closet. I think it might be gift. I wanted to do something the sheep of Forks haven't seen yet, something someone could buy at _Hot Topic _- a store I'm sure people here are afraid of. Dorks.

Barreling into my mountain of goodies I came out with my silver and black leopard skinny pants and my all time favorite _Hello Kitty _"Dorks Need Love Too" shirt. My favorite combo. I decided on black extra high high-tops for my feet and red clip on bows for my hair after straightening the heck out of it - they matched the giant heart on my shirt - and stepped back to examine my handy work.

_Not bad, if I may be so smug. _

I slathered on some black eyeliner and ran down stairs.

"Morning Bella," Charlie said as I entered the kitchen.

"Morning dad. Hey, do we have any more of those chocolate covered donuts left?" I asked, rummaging through the cupboards. I couldn't find them anywhere.

"Actually I hid them," he stated grimly.

"What?" My voice was the epitome of flat.

"You probably shouldn't eat today Bella."

"Why not? If you're hinting at what I think you're hinting at you must have a death wish." I emphasized the threat by cracking my knuckles nice and loud.

"Bella you have your first Chemotherapy treatment today. I don't know what you can and can't do. Now I don't think they're actually doing anything today, actually I'm pretty sure it's just a formality appointment - you know just telling us all the information that we need to know. However, I'm not taking any chances, so no. You can't eat."

It was the most I've heard him say since I've been here. Maybe the most I've heard him say all my life. And the thing is - it was a lecture about me eating.

I was shell shocked. From him talking so much or maybe from just finding out I have a chemo appointment today. I didn't know and I didn't care. I was starting to feel trapped, so I took this as my gut telling me it was time to leave.

"Sure, fine, whatever. I'll even skip lunch. See ya later Char - dad," I yelled over my shoulder as I rushed out the door.

I wasn't excited about school anymore. Quite the opposite actually.

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**Please leave lots of love...or hate...or a "hi"...hell I'll even take a picture of a squirrel humping a - going to stop there (If you get it - hehe XD If you don't get it read _Boy in the Red Sweater _by ****Starrynytex** - **I cannot tell you how amazing that story is *Yes, I realize I'm gloating like a proud PTA mom*). So follow my favorite arrow, it will lead you to happy things...**

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**(*)I'm hoping and praying and begging and meditating for 10 reviews. You guys are amazing and I love seeing all the alerts and favorites and review notices in my inbox - they make the characters in my head do a happy dance ;P**

**(*)Heads up: For those of you who are reading _Never Ending_ I started working on that again - the mental block is letting up little by little :)  
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	7. Chapter 6

**A/N: I'm going to be gone for a week on Senior Trip and I'm not allowed to take my laptop so I posted two chapters - and both are long than usual - other than that not much to say. Hope you enjoy! Oh, I got a comment about how one reader really liked Leo so he's in the next two chapters more. Like a lot more. Hope he's to your liking ;)**

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything here but the plot - and Leonard ^^**

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Come on…dang it! Please be here, please be here…Even just one. I'll even take Rosalie - I think. _

"Bella you okay?" asked Mike from beside me.

"I'm fine," I replied with a weak smile.

All morning I've been going from class to class hoping to have another with a Cullen in them. In an odd way I was excited about getting to know them - that is if they let me. But every time I walked into a class room my hopes were stomped on and ground into the dirt. Trying to keep myself from getting to down I reminded myself that I at least shared A.P. Chemistry with one of the _Mysterious Cullen_ males. That was just enough to keep me from dragging my feet.

I was heading to lunch when Mike caught up to me…or finally came out of his hiding place. I couldn't tell which honestly, though imagining him hiding in the shadows just waiting for me to pass by was both creepy and humorous. Mike was droning on about something about Jessica - I wasn't really paying attention to be completely honest. Entering the cafeteria my eyes immediately went to the table that the Cullens and I sat at yesterday, but what I saw was slightly disappointing. There were only four people at the table. Edward was missing.

Wistful sadness rushed through my body and left me reeling. Why the should I feel sad because some Hollister model was gone? Something must be wrong with me. …Though he is nice to look at.

I tuned back in to Mike once I realized he was still talking.

"Cool, well anyway like I was saying, Jessica's really sorry about whatever she did to upset you. She was going on about how she would like to be friends with you."

_Friends with me or my very weird popularity at this school?_

"Well I'm not mad at her, and it's fine with me if she wants to be friends."

_I just probably won't have anything more than shallow conversations with her. _

"That's great. She'll be really happy to hear that."

Mike led the way to the food line and handed me a tray.

"Thanks," I said as I took it.

"Anytime," he said with a smile that was probably meant to be swoon inspiring - I thought it was cute but nothing else really.

Mike waited for me once he paid and started walking towards the table where all of his friends were sitting. All of them were looking at me but I noticed that the corn yellow blonde - I'm pretty sure yesterday Mike said her name was Lauren - was glaring daggers at me.

_How many people can I make hate me in just two days?_ I though sadly.

I veered towards the table that I sat at yesterday while Mike continued walking towards his friends. He didn't notice that I was gone till I was already sitting down in the same seat as yesterday.

"Bella!" Mike yelled across the lunch room.

I turned towards him and shot him an apologetic smile but stayed where I was at. I cracked open my milk as I tried to, stealthily, steal a glance of the _Mysterious Cullens _through my bangs. Only Alice was looking at me.

_Nut up Swan_, inner-Bella yelled. Besides the obvious fact that I was female she was right…as usual…jerk.

I shoved my hair behind my ear and chanced a smile. Alice seemed really nice - and let's face it energetic. Besides the worse she could do was turn away.

Turns out I didn't have to worry. Almost the second after I smiled she returned it with a huge grin of her own. I didn't know teeth could be that white or shine that much. It was amazing. I felt my, and I hate to admit this, _shy_ smile - need to work on the whole confidence concept - grow into a grin.

Alice turned and said something to Rosalie, who was sitting right next to her, and got up. Rosalie watched Alice with shock then faced me with the usual glare.

_If looks could kill never seemed so literal. _

I was confused at first but when Alice walked towards my end of the table and pulled out the seat across form me it all snapped into place. Alice wanted to say hi. Rosalie was pissed because she hated my guts. Yup, makes perfect sense.

"Hi! My name is Alice Cullen, you're Isabella Swan," she didn't say it a question so much as a statement.

"Yeah, but I prefer Bella. It's less old century."

"So how are you liking Forks so far? Has to be a big change from Phoenix. You _are _from Phoenix right? I mean that's the story that's going around."

Wow.

I think she said all of that with one breath. Alice was still smiling, and looking at me expectantly, but I was momentarily stunned. Her voice was so…so…so_ musical_. It sounded like a song or bells or both.

"Um, yeah, I'm from Phoenix," I finally said a little shakily. "I used to live there with my mom. Yes - Forks is a _big_ change from Phoenix. It hardly ever rained there, but I'm getting used to this place. I mean it isn't so bad."

"Yeah, I like it too. Even if there is _no where_ good to shop. Do you like shopping?" Alice asked way excited.

"Not really. I mean I go shopping for clothes and stuff with my brother - he makes it so much fun. But other than that I'm not really into it. It used to make Renee so mad when she had to drag me into stores when I was little." I laughed remembering all the stories Renee had told me of here trying to get me to like shopping, or at least not hate it.

"Really? You go shopping with your _brother_? Please tell me he's only there to carry the bags," she pleaded, looking like I just killed her puppy.

"Nope," I said, popping the p. "Leo's usually the one that picks out most of the stuff that I buy. He was really good taste."

"But what about girl critique? A guy _cannot_ give the same criticism a girl can."

"I don't have many girl friends. Besides think about. Who better to tell you what I guy thinks looks good on than a _guy_."

"That is true I guess. Hmm, never thought of it that way. Maybe I should jazz shopping with me this weekend…"

"Jazz?"

"Oh! Jasper Hale, he's my boyfriend - the blonde one right there. That's his cousin Rosalie, and her boyfriend Emmett. I have another brother, Edward, but he's not here."

"The guy with the bronze hair," I asked, trying to sound nonchalant. I don't know if I succeeded or not, but her smile seemed knowing almost.

"Yeah, that's him."

"Oh, cool."

Alice started laughing, and I think it was at my poor attempt to seem like I didn't care. Now _that_ sounded like bells, or chimes. Either way it was beautiful.

"Hey, I have an idea! Are you doing anything today after school? We could go to the mall in Port Angeles and I could show what girl critique is. Maybe you'll even like it more than shopping with your brother," she asked. Alice was so excited she should have been glowing at this point. It was so cute! I just wanted to hug her - even if I did hate shopping.

"Sorry, I can't. I'm actually busy after school," I said, and for once I was slightly grateful that I had that dreaded doctor's appointment.

"What are you doing?" she didn't sound intrusive but rather just curious.

"Um…nothing important really. Just some stupid stuff with my dad. Totally boring." There was no way in heck I was letting anyone else know that I had cancer. My family knowing was enough.

"Huh. Well that's too bad. Maybe some other time!"

"Um, sure, I guess."

"Yeah!" Alice said as she clapped her tiny hands and bounced in her seat.

I started laughing at the scene before me and she quickly added her chimes to the chorus.

"Well, I have to get back, or Rosalie will just get angrier. It was nice meeting you Bella! I can tell we're going to be _great_ friends!"

I watched her as she got up and went back to sit with her family - she looked like she was dancing when she walked.

_Mysterious indeed._

"Oh my god. That was Alice Cullen," My head shot around so fast I thought it was going to break. There in front of me was none other than Jessica. Lovely. "What were you two talking about? She is so weird - didn't I tell you. I can't believe she actually talked to someone outside of her family though. _None _of the Cullens do that."

"We didn't really talk about much," I replied as I took a bite of my macaroni and cheese. It was delicious and gooey - though I was quickly discovering that you had to keep stirring it or the cheese would solidify.

"Come on Bella. You _have_ to give me more than that."

"Seriously Jessica, we just introduced ourselves and talked about my dislike of shopping. That's it."

Jessica looked disappointed that we didn't talk about something more gossip worthy. I was about to take another bite of my lunch when I suddenly remembered my promise to Charlie that morning. Stupid delicious food. I set my fork down and slide my tray a few inches away from me.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm not very hungry."

Jessica looked speculative, like there was more to the situation besides me having lost my appetite.

"Whatever, anyway I know Mike told you that I was sorry, but I just wanted to tell you myself. So I'm sorry about anything I said yesterday." She didn't look like she believed that herself.

"It's fine Jessica, nothing to apologize about. Well it as nice talking but I have to go. See ya tomorrow." I tried not to run out of the lunch room but I once I was in the hallway I sprinted towards my truck. The whole place suddenly felt too stuffy, to crowded. I just needed to go home.

I must have zoned out on the way home because before I knew it I was parking my Chevy. There was a black SUV in the driveway so I had to park on the curb but I didn't mind one bit. In fact I was happy to see that monstrous beast taking up the driveway.

That was Leo's car. He wasn't too fond of it but his parent's gave it to him as a "Good job for getting into college" present.

I gathered my backpack and ran into the house, just dropping it by the door while I pried off my shoes.

"Leo?" I called.

"Bella? What are you doing home this early?" Leo asked as he came out of the kitchen.

I sighed in relief.

"You okay hun?"

In response I just launched myself at him - clinging to him like a koala bear. That's right. I had a brother complex. Make fun if you want - I'm not ashamed. Leonard had a way of making me feel calm and safe just by being near me. …That's kind of why everyone thought we were secretly dating - many girls have broken up with Leo because of our unexplainable connection. I felt bad for that but Leo always said "That's fine. It just means they're not the one for me." Anyways, me and Leo weren't like that - never were and never will be. He's like a brother to me, and I'm like a sister to him. Simple as that.

"Yeah, I figured you'd come home early," Leo said as he held me close to him.

"No you didn't, you just ran out of money and didn't want to pay for food."

I felt him shake under me as he silently laughed. Walking over to the couch he sat us down and turned on some pointless sitcom.

"That's not true, Lizzy. My Bella signal was activated."

"You're not bat man," I said as I laughed.

"Still. So let me guess…you have a doctor's appointment, you got scared, but since you're too_ macho_ to admit this you ran."

"I'm not scared!" I exclaimed.

"As the age old adage says, 'Denial isn't just a river in Egypt,'" he said in a overly dramatized philosopher voice.

"That was terrible."

"That was gold, love. Now let's see - how would Barney say this… It's okay to scared, little dude."

"Okay, now _that _sucked - and Barney doesn't say dude. …You're lucky I love you."

"I'm already well aware of that fact," Leo said and kissed my cheek.

"Fine…I'm…I'm scared," I whispered so softly I barely heard it myself.

"What was that? I couldn't hear you..."

"I said I'm scared, you jerk," I growled.

"Don't you feel better now?" he asked with a knowing smile.

"No I do not! I feel stupid and weak. But seriously who _wouldn't_ be scared. For the love of all that is holy I have _cancer_! That shit would scare anyone."

"I know. Honestly I don't know how you keep going on acting like everything is okay."

"I'm not acting, hunny bun."

"Really now? Has my little pessimist become an optimist? That's actually kind of scary."

"Will you shut up," I laughed.

"Well since you asked nicely. So you hungry? I can make you something to eat. Maybe a sandwich?"

"No thanks. Charlie doesn't want me eating. He says he doesn't know what to expect but he wants to be prepared nonetheless."

"That makes sense. Smart man."

"I don't think so at the moment," I said as I clutched my stomach, trying to muffle the loud growl coming form it.

"I swear you eat like a man… Want to spend the night at my place? We can go to see _Alice in Wonderland _after you're done with the doctor's, then we could go to the diner tomorrow for breakfast."

"Your place? Don't you live in a dorm? Way to think knuckle head," I said tapping his head with the finger. "Though that does sound fun - and how the heck to you know I wanted to see _Alice_?"

"Ah, yes. Miss I-live-in-Phoenix-so-I-don't-care-about-my-brother-anymore. I got an apartment last year, the guys in the dorms were really starting to bug me…pricks. And I know you, so me knowing you want to see _Alice in Wonderland_ is kind of a no-brainer."

"Really? That's so cool! Did you decorate it? I wonder of Charlie will say yes?…"

"Nah, I'm not allowed to - already asked the manager - and Charlie already said it was okay as long as you're not late like you were yesterday."

"Crap, I was hoping he wouldn't hear about that… Thanks for asking."

"Anytime Lizzy. Now let's see if Gilligan finally gets off that dumb island."

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**A/N: I was so happy that I got over ten reviews and a million plus one favorite story/author alerts. Thanks for the motivation guys! I was able to write much much more ^_^ **

**Think we can get ten reviews again? Just my favorite - and probably well known by this point - arrow. It makes people happy **

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	8. Chapter 7

**A/N: Shocked to hear from me so soon? Well don't be silly! It's explained in the previous Author's note ^^ Enjoy the next chapter!**

**Disclaimer: Again, nothing mentioned is mine except for the plot - and Leo and now Shayla!**

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"Hello Miss Swan, Mr. Swan. My name is Dr. Gerald and I'll be in charge of your case."

"Hello," I said quietly from my seat. Charlie's grip on my arm got slightly tighter. Looking at him he seemed uncomfortable and tense.

_Poor Charlie…_

"Today we won't be doing anything besides a breakdown of what we _will _be doing - with your father's permission of course."

Charlie nodded at this, though I thought it sounded kind of rhetorical. I felt bad for putting my dad through this, even though I knew I didn't really have control of the situation.

"Now your father told me that you wanted to start chemotherapy as soon as possible, to which I agree vehemently. Radiation in your case would be slightly beneficial, but still not as affective as the chemo. However, before we can do all of that I would to talk to you about a device called a port-a-cath. A port-a-cath is a little gadget, so to speak, that we'll plant just under your skin through surgery, that will allow us to receive blood samples and administer treatment more easily. Not only that but it will be a great deal more comfort for you, rather than having to use an IV."

"Surgery?" Charlie's voice was kind of calm, but it was slightly panicky.

"Yes Mr. Swan. I assure you it's totally safe. We'll place the port-a-cath right under her skin on her upper chest. The catheter is then inserted into a vessel at the entrance of the right atrium of her heart. Overall the procedure shouldn't take more than an hour if everything goes smoothly."

"My chest? Won't people be able to see it?" I asked. If people saw something there then they would ask questions…how would I explain that?

"Yes, Bella. It would be a few inches below your collar bone on the right side, to be specific. The port-a-cath is hardly noticeable. You'll have a scar from the incision and there will be a little bump under it - where the catheter is. There are other types of catheters, but I chose we're going with this one because it's the best for long time use. The port-a-cath lasts for about three to five years and the chance for infection is minimal."

For the next hour Dr. Gerald went on and on about the types of infection that can be caused, how soon he would like for the surgery to take place, and when he wanted get me started with chemo if all went well - "which it should" he said more than a hundred times.

"You okay with this kiddo?" Charlie asked as we walked over to our cars. I drove separately because I was heading over to Leonard's place after this.

"Yeah, sounds good. Much better than getting jabbed with an IV a thousand plus times."

"That's right - those things make you squeamish don't they."

"When did he say he wanted to do the surgery? Sorry, I forgot."

"That's okay kid, don't blame you. Dr. Gerald said the soonest opening was on Monday, so I hope you don't mind missing school. Which reminds me, mind explaining why you were late -"

"Monday. Got it," I said interrupting his soon to be rant/lecture. "I'm going to head over to Leo's now. Don't forget I made a lasagna last night - it should be on the top shelf. All you have to do is throw it in the microwave."

"Thanks Bella."

"No problem dad. See ya tomorrow."

The drive to Leo's apartment wasn't long, but admittedly I got lost a few times. All I can say is not my fault…even though it sort of is.

I grabbed my duffel out the bed of my truck, which I recently named Lucia, and walked across the parking lot to the apartment complex. It wasn't huge but it wasn't small. I liked it, the whole thing had a homey kind of feel.

"3A, 3A…where are you 3A," I murmured to myself as I trekked down the hallway. "Ah ha! Found ya."

I only had a chance to knock once before the door flew open.

"You're here!" Leo exclaimed as lifted me and swung me around.

"Put me down crazy," I said while giggling.

"Come on, hurry, there's someone I want you to meet. Shayla! Shayla, Bella's here!"

Leo ended up dragging me to a small living room. Sitting on the couch was a girl with pink hair. Okay, it was actually more like orange/pink/red - either way I loved it!

"Hey, I'm Shayla, Leo's girlfriend," she said as she got up and held out her hand.

"Hi, I'm Bella," I said as I shook her outstretched hand. "I'm the big goof's sister."

"I though your sister's name is Lizzy?" Shayla asked Leo.

"Oh no. Lizzy is just a nickname that he gave me years ago. Long story. Don't ask," I said before Leo could.

"That makes sense. Anyway welcome to 'Casa de slob,'" Shayla said with a huge flourish. "We ordered some Chinese food - apparently it's your favorite - so it should be here soon."

"Thanks," I said blushing. "Sorry about him probably talking about me all the time. I tried to get him to stop using this experiment I learned in psychology involving dogs and conditioned responses and stuff, but it didn't work."

Shayla laughed at that. "Boy I wish I saw that - and don't worry it's fine. I think it's cute how loyal he is. Like a puppy."

"That's what I say!"

We were both laughing when Leo walked back into the living room - judging from the fact that my bag was now gone he was putting it away.

"What are you two laughing about."

"You," we said simultaneously.

"Why was I excited about you two meeting again?"

"Because you love us," Shayla said and jumped at him like I usually do. It was funny.

"What are you creepers watching?" I asked taking a seat on the tan couch.

"Scary Movie 3 - again I was told it was your favorite. I've never seen it before now, but surprisingly I love it."

"I know! Isn't it amazing!? I can no long watch The Ring without laughing. Everyone ends up looking at me like I'm crazy…or heartless."

After a few hours, and many boxes of almond chicken later, Shayla had to leave for work, so me and Leo decided to head over to the theaters.

"So where do you work anyway?" I asked as we were walking to the parking lot.

"_Pac Sun_. I shop there so much one day I thought '_Hey why not work here._' So I applied and here I am."

"Let me guess that's where you two met?"

"Yup. He was about to buy some shirt that would've looked hideous on him so I made him put it back and get a different one."

"Slapped me enough times I had no choice but to put it back," Leo muttered.

"Good for you," I said laughing.

"Well I'll see you two tomorrow. Have fun with _Alice in Wonderland - _the 3D experience." she said with a cheesy announcers voice.

"Okay, see you later love. I'll miss you," Leo said giving her a quick kiss.

"Ew," I said flatly.

"Trust me - it isn't," Shayla said dreamily.

To this I impersonated gagging noises. "That's my _brother _you're talking about. Did _not_ need to hear that."

"Come on Bella, we're going to be late," Leo said trying to cover his laughing. Wasn't working all to well.

Two hours later I was walking out of the theaters stunned.

"That movies was frickin awesome!"

"Thought you'd like it. Though the 3D kind of killed some of it for me."

"Same here, but still it was amazing. And Johnny Depp? Don't get me started on how amazing Johnny Depp was!"

"Alright then, let's get your nonexistent butt to bed. Can't have you late for school again," Leo said smiling.

Leo only had one bed so we just shared it - something we've done since we were kids.

The alarm on my cell woke me up at frickin six in the morning. Stupid time. Stupid morning.

"Leo," I grumbled.

I got a grunt in response.

"Don't 'unh' me. Get up. Breakfast. Food. Up."

I climbed out of bed heading towards the bathroom. My hair was unfix-able since I went to bed with it wet so I just threw it in a ponytail. Rummaging through my make-up pack - it was smaller than a pencil case - I got my eyeliner and made black lines surrounding each eye. I never went out of the house without eyeliner if I could help it.

I kicked the bed as I walked past it to get to my duffel bag.

"Come on hunny bun - time to get up. Just think food," I said trying to coax him up.

Two kicks and five punches later I finally got Leonard out of bed.

"And you say I'm not a morning person," I teased.

"Unh. There better be donuts."

I just laughed at him as I started to change into a black sundress. I threw a light - almost see through - white long sleeved shirt on underneath it, and added some color with my bright yellow rain boots. It was fun.

We were running really late so after I grabbed some donut holes and coffee Leo let me take his car to school - since it was faster. In all honesty I didn't really want to but I didn't want to upset my dad again by being late, so I didn't really have in choice once I saw the logic.

The parking lot at school was almost empty by the time I arrived, for which I was grateful since that meant less people staring.

The first half of the day passed in a cold blur - I really wish I was wearing pants or leggings or something. If not for the weather than at least so Mike and Eric would stop staring. The whole being popular and boy liking me thing was weird. It wasn't like this for me in Phoenix. All the "sunbathed hotties" stayed away from the "emo dressed freak." Bastards.

At lunch I looked towards the Cullen table again and saw that Edward was still gone. Alice caught me staring and smiled. I returned it but quickly ducked my head in embarrassment from being caught.

Walking into Chemistry I noticed that my neighbor wasn't there.

_Guess that means that I share this class with Edward. _

I was excited about that but also nervous as heck. He was without a doubt great looking, but I still couldn't forget the way he was glaring at me that first day. The look in his black eyes was murderous. I zoned out for most of class - having already learned it back in Phoenix. I was kind of grateful for all the "free time" I got during class.

Unfortunately in gym they were able to get a uniform for me sooner than expected, so I was able to play volleyball. So many volleyballs. So many bruises. I was going to have nightmares…

After school I didn't feel like going home so I went straight to Leo's apartment. I really like it there and Shayla seemed like a real keeper. Her and Leonard were perfect together.

This was pretty much the pattern of my week.

I woke up insanely early for school. Made it there just in time. Stole many glances at the Cullen table. Wondered my Edward was _still_ gone. Then drove to Leo's apartment and hung out with him and Shayla - Charlie said he didn't mind. Gave him less guilt for leaving me alone when he went fishing with Billy Black.

By Friday I pretty much figured Edward transferred schools. I was beginning to wonder if it somehow my fault. I mean he seemed fine until I sat down at the table. After that he pulled a vanishing act. But that was ridiculous! I hadn't said one word to the guy and he immediately decides he hates my guts? Hah! Well if he could hate me then I could hate him…even if I did feel bad for thinking that.

_Frick who am I kidding. Why would I hate him? Not his fault…_

On the bright side I was beginning to remember what names go with what faces - I was always really bad at that. So when people greeted me in the parking lot and hallway I was ab;eto say hi back and not feel like an idiot or a total jerk.

I was able adjust a lot better than I thought I would.

The weekend consisted of Leonard, Shayla, and me goofing off in and out of the apartment. Some where along the lines they started acting like my parents, often referring to me as "the child" when one of them wanted to do something the other deemed stupid. It was hilarious. I tried to be sneaky and video tape it so I could put it on _You Tube _- it would've gotten tons of hits - but Leo caught me and took it away. He was shy around cameras.

On Monday Charlie came to the apartment around eleven to take me to the hospital. My nerves wouldn't let me sit still.

The hospital smelled too sterile. I didn't like it. There was no life here. Just tears and mistakes.

Charlie signed in while I looked around - obviously not to far so when they called me no one would have to hunt me down. Boring picture after boring picture. Just abstract paintings from a kindergartner to make the family of the patients lose themselves in. If they wanted people to feel better they should add flowers that don't smell like a funeral home and maybe some pictures as past patients with their family and friends. They were going about this wrong way.

"Bella," Charlie said touching my arm. "They're ready for us."

We followed an overly tan nurse with short brown hair to an empty room down the hall. Nothing special about this room. I was just another patient in a depressing sea of white.

"Okay Isabella if you could put this robe on I'll get you prepped."

I went into the bathroom to change in to the gown. It felt like it was made of cotton and paper. It wasn't all that uncomfortable. When I got out I laid down on the bed and closed my eyes as the nurse speared me with an IV needle.

"Now this is jut to put you to sleep, hun," she said as she injected something into the tube. "Have you been told as to what happens during the procedure?" she asked turning to Charlie.

"Not really. I was kind of out of it," he admitted sheepishly.

"Well basically the surgeon will take a some x-rays during the the whole thing so he makes sure that the port is in the right place. He'll make a small cut to make what I guess you could call a pocket, where he'll he place the port. He'll set it then stitch her back up. Well keep her here for a few hours to make sure that everything is okay, but after that I'll give you card that contains important information about port-a-cath which we suggest Bella keep with her at all times."

I was basically out if by this point. Everything around me was becoming absorbed by huge black blobs…

_˳̊_

"Bella. Bella are you awake hunny?" I heard a voice calling me. It sounded like a it was coming from a tunnel.

I groaned as I tried to roll over on my side. I hated sleeping on my back - it made all my limbs feel stiff and awkward.

The weird voice started laughing.

"Okay, technically it isn't morning so you don't really have any right to be cranky."

I tried to open my eyes but they felt glued shut. I wiped at them with my back my of my hands but stopped when I felt plastic touch my right eye.

"That's your IV Bells, you really shouldn't jostle it," the voice that was starting to sound like Charlie said as it took my hand.

I just swiped at my eyes with my left hand - tired of feeling blind.

Blinking a few hundred times so my eyes could adjust I saw that I wasn't in my room. That's when I remembered what happened and where I was.

"Char - dad?"

"I'm right here."

Sure enough there he was, sitting in a chair right next to my bed.

"So how you feeling?"

"I'm fine," I said groggily.

"Leo called your cell, hope you don't mind that I answered it, but he said he'll be here in about a hour - so right about now actually," Charlie added the last part looking at his watch. "I feel _really_ bad about this kid, but it took longer than I thought it would so as soon you get the okay I have to head to work. I asked Leonard and he said he could look after you for the day."

"That's fine dad - I understand. So did it go okay? You said it took longer…"

"Oh yeah it went fine! Without a hitch. It just didn't start when they anticipated because the surgeon was throwing a fit about not having the right tools - I guess they really do care about that kind of thing…"

Half an hour later a surgeon, _the _surgeon apparently, came into the room and checked my stats. After saying that everything looked fine the nice overly tan nurse came and told me gave me an alert card and told Charlie, Leo, and me everything we should look out for.

I wasn't so much sore as I was wanting to pass out into a comatose state, but either way we just lazed around on Leo's couch all day. He said he wanted me to take it easy and not take any chances, and he wasn't kidding - he even carried me up the stairs.

I was dreaming that I was making muffins for the Mad Hatter and the Rabbit and everyone else when I felt like an earthquake was attacking my shoulder.

"Get up," someone hissed in my ear.

Opening my eyes revealed Shayla standing over me like a hunter over its prey. It was not the most comforting thing to wake up to in the morning.

She put a finger over her lips, signaling me to be quiet, then pointed towards the general direction of the living room.

"What do you want?" I asked when were both a safe hearing distance from the bedroom.

"So how did it go?"

"It went fine, I guess."

"Do you have a scar?"

"Mm-hmm."

"Can I see it?" she sounded like a little kid.

I pulled off my t-shirt, I was wearing a camisole, and untapped the bandage.

"That's to cool! What's that bump though?" she asked pointing to it.

"That's the port-a-cath. The thing they put in me."

"Huh, weird. But anyway not why I'm here. Tada!" she said shoving a paper bag in my face.

"Shayla you didn't have to get me anything. It was just a small surgery."

"Well then it's a good thing I didn't _get_ you anything."

"What are you talking about?" I asked confused. She wasn't making any sense.

"I brought my ear gun, silly. I thought you looked like the kind of girl that would want a few things pierced, so ya. Are you excited or did I peg you totally wrong?"

"Are you serious? That's so cool!" I whispered screamed.

"Sweetness! I thought I knew you well enough by this point. So what do you want done?"

"Um, how about here," I said point to the top cartilage of my ear. I've wanted to get that pierced for years.

"You sure about this Bella?" Shayla asked me excitedly. I could tell she was trying to hide it, maybe so I wouldn't fell like I was being forced or something, but she was right. We knew each other well enough by now to read the other like a book. Her excitement was funny in a cute way - like when a baby duck imprints on you and follows you around everywhere. Cute.

"Of course Shayla," I laughed. "Do it!"

"Sweetness! Sorry, love that word. Okay - pen, pen, pen… Where the frick did I put my pen the other night?" Shayla muttered to as she looked around the floor of the living room.

"Why do you need a pen?"

"To mark where I'm going to put it, silly. I have to see if that's where you want it, you know. …Ah ha! Bastard pillow thought it could hide my pen from me."

"Oh, huh - I guess that makes sense. And don't blame the pillow for you misplacing your pen."

"Are you making fun of me Bella?" Shayla asked with a warning evident in her voice.

"Very much so," I replied with a challenge in mine.

Ultimate stare down. I don't think either of us blinked - the burning in my eyes was proof of that.

I heard the bedroom door open but neither of us looked away.

"What are you guys doing?" Leo asked as he knelt down beside me and Shayla.

"I'm piercing Bella's ear - well the cartilage of her ear."

"Well don't you sound excited," laughed Leo. "However, I do believe that piercing an ear requires more than staring at the person."

"Shut up smart-"

"Okay lets do this," I interrupted excitedly.

"So one last time - you're sure about this?" Shayla asked.

"Yes!" I replied exasperated.

Both Leo and Shayla started laughing at me - it was like they thought that _I_ was the baby duck.

I felt my cheeks start to heat up.

"Stop laughing at me," I demanded embarrassed. "Just pierce the dumb thing."

"I don't know about this. Bella is still young - besides she doesn't seem like the type to handle pain well…" Shayla said skeptically.

_Is she bipolar? It was her idea!_

"Trust me Shay, Bella can handle pain and she _eighteen_. If she says she's sure about something then she means it," Leo reasoned.

"Bella is also _right here_, so stop talking about her as if she isn't," I said irritated.

Again they laughed at me. The jerks were perfect for each other.

"Fine then. On with the show!" Shayla said excited again.

_Yup. Definitely bipolar. _

Shayla held the side of my left ear while she made a little black dot towards the top of it. Once she was down she sat back on her heels to look at better.

"Well I like, but I want you to look at it to see if _you_ do."

"What do you think Leonard?" I asked and turned towards him.

"Hmm, I like it. It's actually kind of hot…on second thought you're not doing this."

"What?! Why not? I really want to and Shayla already has everything here."

"Because guys like earrings up there - it's small but it's attractive as heck. So no. I'm not letting you get that so _some guy_ can look at it."

"Leo you're insane," Shayla said flatly.

"Hey?! What kind of big brother would I be if I didn't protect my little sister - even if it is something as small as this."

Shayla let out a big sigh and just stared at me for a minute. It was kinda creepy.

"You're absolutely right. It is far to mature a piercing for Bella to get at only eighteen - and still in high school no less."

"Hey wh-"

"No Bella - don't interrupt me and besides my mind is set. I won't be the one to do this to you so soon. Now Leo if you would be a dear, go and get me my duffle out of my car - I fell like I need a bath."

"Sure," Leo grunted as he got up. The sound of his joints popping filled the silence.

I couldn't speak. What the heck just happened?!? She couldn't be serious!

All I was able to do was stare at her in disbelief. I think my mouth was actually hanging open. I heard the front door close but was unable to move…or do anything.

"Okay, goodie. Now that the big boring wolf is gone let's do this quick!" Shayla exclaimed suddenly all for it again.

"…WHAT THE HELL!"

"Haha! You really believed me? God I must've been good then. Maybe I should go into acting?…"

"You were _pretending_?"

"Yup. Now hold still so I can do this before he comes back."

"Okay," I replied confused still.

"Shayla rummaged through her bag that was by her side and pulled out a package of earrings. I watched as she loaded the gun - it was pretty interesting and admittedly looked kinda fun. Leaning forward Shayla held my ear again and positioned my ear in the gun.

"Sorry we don't really have time to see if you like the spot or not, but it's now or never. You know Leo isn't going to leave us alone for awhile now. The dude has a serious sister complex…"

I tried not to laugh so it wouldn't mess her up but it was really funny. Saying Leo had a sister complex was so big an understatement it was mental.

"Okay, if you're a screamer shut your mouth."

"It's fine, I have a high pain tolerance."

I sat there waiting for a little minute and started to worry. I thought she would do it quick but it didn't. Looking ahead I thought I tried to think of something trivial… I've always wanted to get my belly button pierced. That would definitely be fun - though no one would really be able to see it since there were no _hot_ beaches around here. But still, it isn't as if I was getting it just so other -

_Bitch mother. Okay that smarts a bit._

"Sorry, the gun is jammed - it's kind of old so it does this every so often. Just let me…" Shayla said as she tugged at the gun which still held the earring that was now through me ear. All the yanking was _not _helping.

"Ah! Got it. Hurry put your hair over it."

I shook my hair out as I helped her shove everything back into her paper bag.

The deed was done.

I felt like laughing like one of those cartoon bad guys you watch on Boomerang.

"Hey girls. Here's your bag Shay - by the way thanks for telling me it was under the huge pile of crap that you call your trunk."

"Now if I did that then where would the fun be?" Shayla asked innocently.

"Okay, you two are crazy. I'm going to get ready for school - try not to break anything while I'm gone," I said as I got up.

Before jumping in the shower I examined my new piercing. It was a small diamond - fake obviously, but still really pretty - and it was near the top, right where I dreamed it would be.

I absolutely loved it!

Taking a quick shower, I ran to Leo's room where my duffel bag was and threw on my purple skinny pants, a sky blue shirt with dinosaurs on the front, and lastly my classically loved black high-tops. I really wanted to put my hair up - the dumb thing was bugging me to no end lately, and I was seriously considering chopping it off - however, I knew that Leo would see my ear so I left the annoying stuff down. At least until I get to school and away from my crazy, yet much loved brother.

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**Ten reviews? Can you do it? I think you can! I know you can ;) I see the hits/visitors stats - I know you're there ignoring this note - Lol. Sorry, it's late and I'm out of it...**

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	9. Chapter 8

**!!IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE AT END!! Please read**

**Disclaimer: Everything Twilight related is owned by Stephenie Meyer...even if it does insist on whispering dirty things in my ear ;)**

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"What ya starin at babe?"

I turned away from the mirror to see Shayla leaning against the door frame.

"I have a third boob," I stated simply.

"You what?" she asked, her voice flat.

"I have a third boob. There is a bump that looks like a boob over my other boob! I can't go outside in public like this. Nope. Never."

"Wow, I think Leo's craziness has rubbed off on you…crap what I catch it?"

"Shayla this is serious!" I said frustrated.

"Listen hun, you don't have a third boob - even if I think most guys would like that. I barely noticed the _tiny _bump till you pointed it out. Though now I'll probably never be able to see it without thinking about this conversation," she said laughing.

"I'm not going to school," I said as I slumped on Leo's bed.

"Honestly, I have no idea why you're going in the first place. I mean isn't that seriously hurting right now?" Shayla asked as she came and sat next to me.

"Kind of," I said gently rubbing over the gauze they tapped to me. In reality it was really starting to hurt, but I didn't want to worry either of them. I figured the doctor would've prescribed some pain medicine or something, but Leo didn't say anything about it.

_Guess I'll just stop by home and grab some Motrin on my way to school. _

"Listen babe, I don't know exactly what you're going through, because nothing like that has happened to me, but I can help with this little predicament. See when I was in high school my friend, Alicia, got in a car accident. She lived but her chest ended up covered in scars from the window slicing her so much. Well as expected she was really self conscious about it so ended up wearing sweatshirts most of the time - which was a _big_ change from all the v-necks she usually wore. Well one day I got fed up with it, because chick had a great figure for a munchkin, so I grabbed a pair of scissors and cut up the damn thing. She looked so cute once she was done freaking out."

"So you want to kill all my sweatshirts?" I asked dumbfounded.

Instead of answering me Shayla got up and sauntered over to Leonard's closet. She rummaged through it for a little bit and came back towards me with his lucky black sweatshirt in hand.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm helping you," she answered like it was obvious.

"Uh uh. No way. That's Leo's favorite - he literally thinks it has magical lucky powers or something. No way in heck am I letting you cut it up."

"Watch me."

I dove for the sweater before she could do anything but she was faster. I landed on the floor with a thud and bit my lip so my scream wouldn't escape. By the time I managed to get off the floor Shayla wasn't in the room anymore.

_Crap. _

"Shayla! Shayla damn it, where are you!"

"What's going on?" Leo asked walking into the hallway.

"You don't want to know. Trust me."

"Why does that scare me?" he asked looking petrified.

"Wow. You two take things _way_ to seriously."

Me and Leo jumped as we heard Shayla's voice from behind us.

_How the heck did she get there?! _inner me screamed.

"Oh. My. God. Please tell that isn't…" Leo stuttered looking at her hands.

"Close your eyes babe. It'll be easier," I said as I wrapped my arms around his waist. He turned and buried his face into my hair.

"Wow. You weren't kidding Lizzy," she sounded stunned.

"Don't call me Lizzy," I said at the same time Leo said, "Don't call her Lizzy."

Automatic response. No one was allowed to call me Lizzy except Leo.

Shayla didn't seem mad, just shocked. "Listen hun, I love you, I really do, but it's just a sweater. Besides I did it for Bella. This way she won't be self conscious and worry all day about the itty bitty bump on her chest."

Leo finally looked at her, then the tattered sweatshirt in her hands, then back at her and sighed.

"It's fine I guess… When you put it that way."

"Knew you'd understand. Now put this on Bella your going to be late if you don't leave soon," she said as she shoved the sweater in my hands.

I still felt really bad. I glanced at Leo, to see if he was actually okay with this, and he just smiled at me. Sliding on the sweater, that was three sizes to big on me, I noticed that Shayla cut it so short that it stopped where my bra did. Covering my chest. Covering that stupid bump.

"Well, what do you think?" I twirled around in a small circle.

""I was so right," Shayla smiled smugly.

"Maybe it'll still be lucky…even though it's barely there anymore," Leo said jokingly.

'Thanks. Well I'm gonna go before we decide to have a heart-to-heart and start crying," I smiled and walked towards the kitchen to grab my backpack.

"Here take my car again," Leo said as he dangled his keys in front of me.

"Last time. I will be driving my car to school tomorrow. I should probably actually go home tonight now that I think about it. Crap, now I have to pack my duffel," I mumbled and rushed towards Leo bedroom.

"Already did it babe, it's by the couch," Leo said, grabbing my shoulders. "Figured you'd want to go home tonight. Maybe check and see that Charlie's cooking hasn't killed him yet."

"Wouldn't be surprised if it did."

I tried to balance both my backpack and my duffel bag on the same shoulder as I squeezed out the door.

"I'll swing by later to drop off your truck and your -"

"What was that?" I asked confused. Leo muttered the last part so low that I didn't hear any of it.

"I said when I dropoffyourprescription."

"Okay, how about at a speed that humans can understand?"

"I might of, possibly, maybe said when I drop off the prescription that I forgot the doctor gave you. Why the hell are you laughing?" he asked incredulously.

"Because you're so cute," I said stretching on my tippy-toes so I could ruffle his hair. "See ya later hunny bun."

Pulling into the school parking lot I saw the silver Volvo the decided to haunt my dreams.

_I wonder if any more of them decided to switch schools?_

Getting out of the giant monster I trudged towards the building that held my English class, and did what I normally did once I got to school: anticipating lunch so I could see the _Mysterious Cullens_ again.

I really needed a social life…

"Hey Bella! So where were you yesterday?" Mike asked as he stood next to me in the lunch line.

"Um, I wasn't feeling well. I think it was one of those twenty-four hour bugs. Ya know?"

I always sucked at lying. I really needed to work on that.

"Aw, man that's to bad. But hey, at least you're here today," he said giving me a one arm hug.

Laughing nervously I wiggled out of grasp.

"Yup," I said as I handed the lady at the cashier my money.

"So, I was wondering if you'd mind if we sat with you today?"

"Um, sure. I don't care," I said smiling.

"Awesome."

Mike and I walked over to my usual spot in silence. It wasn't all that comfortable. I used to time to steal a quick glance at the Cullens and stumbled.

"You okay Bella?" Mike asked.

"Ya, I'm fine," I replied distracted.

_Guess I wrong about Edward switching schools…_

Sitting down I fixed my eyes on my lunch instead of my neighbors. There was nothing worse than being caught staring…Yes I would know from personal experience.

I mumbled a hello as Jessica and Lauren sat down, quickly followed by Angela and Tyler.

All of them started talking but I couldn't bring myself to try and pay attention. I was shocked, confused, and in pain. Way too many opposite feelings for one girl to handle… Glancing towards the Cullens again - yes, I realize that this was becoming an addiction, and an unhealthy one at that - I noticed that Alice was looking at me. We both smiled at the same time, which made us smile more.

I was about to say something to Alice, but as soon as I opened my mouth I felt something cold all over my lap. I looked down to see that I was drenched with milk. My milk. Glancing up I was met with the cold eyes of Lauren Mallory. The chick was ten time worse than Jessica.

"Oh, I'm sorry Bella. Accident," Lauren said with a malicious smile. That bitch might not be sorry yet, but someday soon I was going to make sure she would be. Right now my main priority was drying my pants…and possibly getting another milk. I grabbed my napkin to try and clean some of the liquid off, before it all seeped into my clothing, but I _mysteriously_ couldn't find it.

_Ladies and Gentlemen please put your hands together for Laruen Mallory, the winner of our "Taken the movie _Mean Girls _to seriously" award. _

Jerk.

"Don't worry it's fine Lauren. After all it's just clothes, it'll come out," I said with a plastic smile on my face.

Lauren just glared at me. It may have frightened me before put I've been the victim of Rosalie's glares and scowls for far to long. Lauren's seemed mediocre compared.

_Thanks Rosalie…in a weird way I guess. _

"Here Bella, you can have my napkin," Mike said as he went to wipe the milk off my pants.

"Thanks Mike, but that's okay. I'm just going go see if I have any spare something in my truck," I hastily said as I practically jumped out of my seat. Casting one last look towards the Cullens showed me that none of them were looking at what just happened, not even Alice was looking anymore. I was sad that they didn't seem to be as interested in me as I was in them, but I was also glad that they hadn't witnessed the whole fiasco.

Throwing my tray away I made my way outside towards Leo's car.

_I hope Leonard remembered to throw some pants in my duffel bag. I don't care if they match - I just don't want to smell like spoiled milk… Please, please be there. _

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**A/N: First thing first: Did you like it? Leave reviews even if you didn't. You guys seriously don't know how much I love getting them! **

**Second, I'm currently looking for a Beta - I think that my writing could definitely benefit from having one - so if you're interested pm me or just leave a comment :) I'd greatly appreciate it.**

**Third, thanks for those of you that pm'd to wish me fun on Senior trip - it was a blast...even if I did get a massivly painful sunburn. (Swear i didn't wear a bra for three days)**

**Fourth, next chapter Bella and Edward will have their first encounter...maybe he'll be mean...maybe she'll be mean...who knows maybe they'll just both end up jumping eath other's bones? ...Course I'd probably have to change the rating if they did ;P**

**Love all of ya - thanks for keepin with me!**

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	10. Chapter 9

**A/N: First, this chapter may have slight changes in the near future. I finished it yesterday but I'm currently looking for a beta, and when it seemed it was going to take longer than expected I decided not to make you wait any longer. So just beware, changes may happen. Second, I have reasons as to why this is a week late but I doubt you want to hear them so I will shut up and let you continue with the story :) Hope you like it!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight - even if it does whisper dirty things in my ear ;)**

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After rummaging through my bag for five minutes I managed to find a jean skirt that Shayla forced me to buy, and unlike everything else it actually smelled clean. The only down side was I hadn't even been wearing it for ten minutes now and I Can honestly say that I've never been so cold in my frickin life - I was seriously considering just saying screw it and putting my milky pants back on.

Don't get me wrong - the skirt was really cute. It went mid-thigh - because let's face it, who looks good in super short tramp skirts - it was a light stone-wash blue, and frayed around the bottom. However, despite it's cuteness, this Forks weather was freezing my ass cheeks off just running back into the school after I got done changing in Leo's back seat.

Opening the door to the building I was immediately hit with a wall of hot air. The sudden change in temperature made the skin that was exposed prickle with pins and needles, but I didn't mind it to much since it meant the my I was defrosting. No on in their right mind would wear a skirt in Forks Washington, especially in January.

I didn't go back to the cafeteria since I grabbed my backpack when I left, so I just made my way over to my locker to grab my Chemistry book. Today was the first time that I would sit next to Edward Cullen. It felt like all my nerves gathered in my stomach and decided to have a tango party. I had to work my lock a few times because my fingers kept slipping with the light sweat that quickly covering my hands. Saying a silent thank you when I finally managed to get it open I grabbed my stuff and made my way to Mr. Moreno's class.

I wasn't surprised to find that I was the only one there, since lunch hadn't let out yet, so I started doodling in my notebook that never left my bag. It was just one of those cheap ones you can grab at _Wal*Mart _but I was seriously attached to every one as soon as I got it.

I was just about to trace my hand on the back - a lot more fun than anyone realizes - when Mike walked in.

"Hey Bella! Are you okay? You didn't come back to lunch, so I was about to go looking for you but we only had five minutes left, so I figured I'd just ask you in class."

"Ya Mike, I'm fine, it was just milk. Thanks for asking," I mumbled, just wishing for him to go away. Mike was nice but his persistence was starting to rub me the wrong way a little.

"That's good. So what's up, why weren't you here yesterday? I really missed you." A little pink came to his cheeks as he said the last part.

_Not good…_

"I was busy with…stuff. It's nothing," I said hoping he wouldn't call me out on my lie - I wasn't prepared for that question, I didn't think anyone would ask.

"Oh, well, I'm glad that you're here," Mike said with a smile so big it hurt just to look at.

"Thanks," I replied lamely.

"So listen, I was wondering…if you're not doing anything this week -"

Mike was interrupted by the sudden noise of a chair being scraped across the floor. Looking over my eyes were met with the most beautiful shade of gold, all I could do was sit there and stare like an idiot. I'd never been this close to Edward Cullen before. So close that I could reach over and touch his hand if I wanted too.

Not even a minute later the bell rang, snapping my attention back to my surroundings.

"Okay everyone park your butts in your seats and listen up," Mr. Banner called over the voices of all the students, clapping. When the room completely quieted down he continued, "Now I want all of you to pa attention. Today we're doing the Flame Test lab, so I want all of you to be _careful._ Mike that means no pretending to burn your face again," he added, giving Mike a stern look. "You and your partner will be burning a sample of various chemicals and observing the color of the flame. There are handouts already on your desk, I expect you to fill them out and turn them in. Get started."

_Partners? Yummy._

Turning towards Edward I saw that he was flipping through the packet. A few seconds later he sighed and met my gaze with a smile on his perfect face.

"Hello, I'm Edward Cullen, it seems we'll be working together for the day."

"Um, hi, I'm Isabella Swan, but just call Bella," I said, returning the smile.

"Oh, I know who you are. The whole town has been talking about you for a while now," he said with a small chuckle.

"Fabulous," I groaned. This just caused him to laugh.

"Shall we get started?" he asked.

"Sure." Sliding off my chair I took a step closer to the middle of the table, and him, and started putting the Bunsen burner together.

I've already done this a few times back in Phoenix, so I didn't really need instructions or help anymore, but I still appreciated it when Edward started connecting the tube to the gas. After it was standing rusted and proud he turned on the gas and lit the flame while I cleaned the wire. We worked in complete silence but it wasn't uncomfortable.

I saw him tense up a few times, especially when I was barely an inch away from him, but I didn't ask about it. Instead I just backed away, not wanting to invade his personal bubble. I hated it when people did that - it always made me grumpy.

"Ladies first," Edward offered, sliding the rack full of solutions towards me.

I made the mistake of looking into his eyes and was trapped. Everything around me was quickly forgotten as I willingly let myself get lost in his golden orbs.

"Um, or I could go first, if you preferred?" he asked, uncertain.

_Oh God! He's going to think I'm crazy. Get yourself together Swan!_

"Er, no it's fine. I'll do it," I quickly stammered, reaching for the mix labeled one.

"So where were you yesterday?" he asked as I was dipping the wire into the liquid. I glanced up at him and saw that he was looking at me intently.

"Where were you last week?" I replied, as I held the wire right into the middle of the flame. As soon as chemical covered metal came into contact with the fire it turned a startling magenta. It was beautiful, and all to soon turned back into the boring red-orange when all the solution burned off.

"I was visiting some family back in Alaska."

I didn't say anything in reply - just handed him the wire and looked down at the packet that Mr. Moreno gave us, and filled in the answer. I watched as he cleaned and covered the wore with the second solution.

"I believe it's your turn to answer the question," he said with a small smile.

Suppressing a smile of my own - I secretly loved it when guys acted a tiny bit like a smartass - I answered his earlier question.

"I was sick so I decided to stay home. After all it would be very rude of me to infect the innocent people of Forks High."

He smirked at the end and wordlessly handed me the wire - dragging the handout closer to him at the same time.

"Well I'm glad your all better now," he said as he finished writing his answer down.

I didn't know how to reply to that so I just smiled as I continued with the lab. This time the flame turned orange - not as exciting as the magenta.

We continued the lab that way - just handing each other the wire when we were done, neither of us speaking again. As soon as we went through all the chemicals Edward started cleaning everything up. It didn't seem like there was much I could do without getting in his way so I just settled with answering the post-lab questions. They were fairly easy for the most part but I was stumped when it asked to list possible errors that may have screwed up the results - I always had trouble with that part.

I chanced a look over and saw that Edward was done…and staring at me.

_Well we _are_ partners, so I guess it can't really be classified as rude…_

"Can you help with something?" I blurted out.

"What do you need?"

"I need help coming up with errors that could have happened. Sorry, I always come up blank with those kind of questions."

"It's fine," he assured me, smiling a little. "Well lets see…for one the heat from the flame could have been too low, then the wire wasn't cleaned properly, there wasn't enough solution on the wire, or the wire wasn't placed in the right part of the flame -"

"Thanks, I think I got it," I said laughing. He sounded like a professor when he was going on like that, plus it didn't seem like he was going to stop. It was cute, and not in the 'Aww look at the puppy' cute.

After writing all of it down we just sat there in silence again. I thought about doodling again but I wasn't that bored so I opted for looking at Edward. In my defense it was hard _not_ to look.

I guess he must have felt the same way about me because there he was, sitting in all his glory, staring at me, again. It would have been flattering it wasn't for the fact that it was starting to make me feel like a science project being observed for changes. I was looking right back when I suddenly realized something different about him.

"Did you get contacts?" I asked without thinking.

He seemed shocked by the question but he quickly answered nonetheless.

"No, I don't wear contacts," he said sounding confused.

"Oh," I said turning back towards the front of the class.

_What the frick?… His eyes are _gold_. Last week there were black…right? But then why would he lie? Maybe Forks really is driving me crazy._

I wanted to believe that I was right, if nothing if not for my sanity, but what reason would he have for lying? Just because he wore color contacts didn't make him girlie. Well at least not in my book.

"Why are you here?" he suddenly demanded.

I was confused, and slightly irritated that he thought he could pretty much order me around, so I let my inner brat take over.

" Because if I wasn't I would get the truancy officer called on my white ass."

"That's not what I meant," he practically growled.

"Really? Huh. Well then please clarify what it is that you _did_ mean."

"Why are you in Forks?" He sounded a lot more calm.

"It's complicated."

"I think I can keep up," he replied, all traces of his previous, and random, anger gone.

"Who said I wanted you to?" I asked looking him straight in the eye. It was hard not to lose all traces of coherent thought but I managed it - somehow.

"Fair enough."

I sighed and tore my gaze away from his.

"Look it's nothing personal, it's just complicated. If it's any consolation no one here knows either."

"So someone somewhere _else_ knows," he stated.

"Yup."

"Interesting."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked.

"Simply that I think you're hiding something, Miss Swan."

"As do I, Mr. Cullen."

We sat there just staring at each other until the bell rang, signaling class was over.

"Don't forget to turn your packets in," Mr. Moreno yelled above the noise.

Suddenly Edward jumped out of his seat was out of the classroom faster than should have been possible.

"Hey Bella. That lab was horrible wasn't it? It's a good thing you had Cullen for a partner - he's insanely smart," Mike said, appearing out of nowhere.

"I didn't have any trouble with it," I answered distantly, my eyes still focused on the door.

"Oh, well…here, let me get your books for you," he said as he grabbed them from my hands.

"Thanks," I said, smiling.

"Come on, we're going to be late for gym," he replied more energetically, encouraged by my smile.

I took my books from Mike as he put his coat on and kept them. It isn't that I didn't like it I just didn't want to lead him on.

"So what was with you and Cullen?"

"Edward," I stated automatically.

"What?" Mike asked sounding confused.

"His name isn't Cullen, it's Edward."

"Oh, well, ya…sorry."

"No it's fine," I said sighing. "There isn't really anything going on, we were just working on our lab."

"Oh. Wow. I've never seen him really talk that much to someone outside his family."

"Really?"

"Ya. All of them pretty much keep to themselves."

"Huh. Weird."

"Weird."

Me and Mike made our way into the gym and he headed over to the guy's changing room as I made my way over to Coach Smith. She was about my height with short dirty blonde hair, and was always wearing some type work out suit. A lot of the students complained that she was too strict but to me it just seemed that she wanted us to act our respective ages and do the days assigned sport.

"Excuse me, Miss Smith?"

"Yes, Swan?"

"I have a doctor's note requesting that I sit out for the next two weeks," I said pulling the note from my backpack and placing it in her waiting hand. Coach Smith didn't really like having anyone sitting out, and even if they had a note saying that they should she would always find some form of exercise that wouldn't risk their health.

"Okay, just park it on the bleachers - and I expect to see you working, if not I'll give you something to do," she said, sounding defeated.

"Yes ma'am," I said and made my way over to the side of the gym where the bleachers were placed. Walking up a few stands I sat down and looked out at everyone. Some of the people that had already changed were looking at me - probably wondering why I'm not participating - but most just seemed a little relieved, if not happy, to see me sitting away from all the volleyballs. They had a right to feel relieved.

For the next hour I struggled to keep my mind focused on the work in front of me, my Precalculus homework, but it kept going over the conversation me and Edward had in Chemistry. I remembered the way his lips shaped around his words, and the sweet scent of his breath as it fanned her face, and especially the way his voice sounded like rough silk.

Was it possible to love everything about someone yet know nothing about them except for the fact that they suffered from severe mood swings and liked colored contacts?

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**Reviews really are great motivation for any author :) So don't be afraid to tell me what ya feel - the good, the bad, doesn't change that this story will continue to the end. So follow my virtual happy trail - it brings smile all around**

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	11. Chapter 10

**A/N: Thanks to all my readers for still following the story for so long! I really appreciate it, and especially those that leave reviews - Love all of ya! ^^  
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**I also want to thank my new amazing beta Bananas in Pyjamas :) **

**Disclaimer: All Twilight stuff belongs Stephenie Meyer because she's cool like that**

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"You okay Bella?"

My head snapped up, the sound of Charlie's voice pulling me from my thoughts of golden eyes and obnoxious attitudes.

"I'm sorry dad – what did you say?"

"I asked if you were okay. You seem kind of distracted, kid."

"I'm fine dad, just a little tired," I said smiling. Charlie may make fun of Renee for overreacting when I manage to hurt myself but he worries just as much as she does.

"Well just make sure to go to bed early tonight then – don't want you to wear yourself out."

"Sure thing dad."

_**˳̊ **_

To wear the sweatshirt or not to wear the sweatshirt.

That is the question.

To show my frickin bump or not to show my frickin bump.

That is the same question – just worded more colorfully.

_Why can't turtle necks be "all the rage" again? Who invented v-necks anyway? Probably some old geezer of a man... Bastard. _

"Bella you're going to be late!" Charlie yelled.

"Thanks for the warning!" I yelled back. I really did not have time to have a "conversation' with my dad if I wanted to make it to school on time. I don't normally talk to people before 8:30 anyway...well I do but they're not usually _nice_ things. That on top of the fact that I didn't clean my earring so it was getting infected was not helping my attitude. The thing hurt like a bitch mother on crack.

"Screw it," I grumbled to myself as I grabbed my black and blue stripped sweater and threw it on with my stretchy black skinny jeans – the sweater was baggy-ish. After that I just sped through everything else – eyeliner- rough to sloppy, teeth- who was ever really thorough anyway? Hair- messy buns are cute.

By the time I made it to the school there were almost no students milling about the parking lot anymore. The ground was slick from the rain that decided to make an appearance at some ungodly hour this morning but I said screw it to my physical well being and ran to my first hour. I did not want to be known as the person that is always late to everything.

I walked into English just as the bell was ringing. Zombieland rule number 32: appreciate the small things. Thank you Tallahassee.

_Dang it, now I could really go for a Twinkie..._

"Okay class, butts in your seats not on your desk, thank you. Now let's get started, we have a big lesson planned for today – Tyler spit out your gum," Mr. Thomas paused in his speech of sorts while Tyler got up to spit out his offending candy looking like he was on his way to the guillotine. "Now that that's over, as I was saying you guys have a big lesson in store for today. What you ask? Well all of you have the excitement of starting your short stories. I don't hear any complaints and I expect you guys to take this seriously – after all this will count as a significant portion of your final grade."

I zoned out after that as Mr. Thomas went on and on about the standard he expects, the handouts we'd have to do before we actually got to start writing, what would be do when, etcetera...

When the bell rang I jumped out my seat when I saw that Mike was trying to make his way over to my seat through the horde of students. I hadn't known him long but in my book having Mike walking towards you was just as terrifying as having Freddy Krueger coming at you in all his butter knife-finger glory.

_Come on, come on...go in you stupid book!_ I mentally screamed at myself as I tried to cram all my English books in my bag – Mr. Thomas was lovely enough to assign three, and so far we'd only used two... Giving up, I just held them in a death grip and grabbed some random guy that was standing behind me.

"What the –" he exclaimed.

"Shh, please!" I hissed.

Through a series of tugs and jerks I managed to drag the poor guy out the door, with me crouching behind him the whole time.

"Do I even want to know?," he asked as he turned to glare at me.

"No you really don't. But I appreciate it," I added smiling.

"Whatever," he said chuckling.

Dropping my books off at my locker I dragged my feet to Economics. Whoever decided to give me that class this early in the morning was cruel beyond belief.

Two hours and three Motrin later I was practically skipping towards the cafeteria. Today I was determined. No more pussyfooting around. I was going to sit with Alice Cullen during lunch. Don't ask me how and don't ask me why, because I myself have no idea.

Quickly grabbing some random food from the lunch line I glanced towards the Cullen's table. All of them were just sitting there staring in random directions. Who knew that a group of people could be bored together? You'd figure one of them would have something to say.

Walking half the speed of a normal human it took me awhile to get to the table that the Cullens pretty much shared with me. I don't know why I was freaking out.

"Hey Alice."

"Bella! How was your busy week?"

"Um, it was...well, it was pretty much all I expected it to be," I finished dryly.

"That doesn't sound fun," Alice said now frowning. "Want to talk about it?"

"Actually I was wondering if you wanted to start planning that shopping trip we were talking about last week."

"Of course," she exclaimed clapping. "See Emmett, this is the proper response to shopping!"

"You have no idea what you just got yourself into," Emmett told me, completely ignoring his sister.

"Don't listen to him, he's a boy. Come on! We have so much to talk about!"

I didn't want to impose of the rest of them, since I only knew Alice so far, so we sat down at my end of the table.

Hanging out with Alice was tiring to say the least. She was amazingly hyper, and happy, and all but radiated energy. It was impossible not to love her, but after talking with her for twenty minutes I felt like I needed a nap.

"Hello," Alice chirped while looking over my shoulder. I twisted a little to see who was behind me only to be stopped by arms wrapping themselves around my neck.

"Hey Lizzy," Leo said placing a chaste kiss on my cheek.

"Hey Leo. Oh, Leo this is Alice, Alice this is Leo." I gestured to each as I introduced them.

"Oh, so you're Leo! Bella told me how you like to go shopping together, and let me say that I very much approve of most of the things she wears but I think you need to be taught the ways of dresses."

"I'm so confused... Yes, I do take her shopping, but I don't remember every buying a dress," Leo looked completely lost but you could tell he was desperately trying to keep up with Alice's speed of thinking.

"That's my point!"

"Alice!" I exclaimed laughing. "If you wanted me to get a dress or two all you had to do was tell me. No need to drag Leonard into this."

"Well I can see you made some friends. That's one gold star. Anyway I put your stuff in Lucia for you – just check that cubby on the dash."

"What are you talking about? I thought I remembered to grab all my clothes..."

My sentence died off as I processed the significant look that Leo was shooting me.

"Oh! Okay, I remember now. Thanks hunny bun," I replied kissing his check.

"Are my keys in the monster?" My mouth was full of the bite of food I just took, so I simply nodded in answer. "Thanks. I'll see you later Lizzy. It was nice to meet you Alice," he said nodding once.

"You too Leo! Wow he's really cute," Alice said conspiratorially once he was out of the cafeteria.

"Ew, Alice that's just gross," I said laughing. "Besides what would poor Jasper think!"

"_Poor_ Jasper knows that I love him," she replied, laughing with me.

I just shook my head at her. I don't think I will ever understand Alice.

_**˳̊**_

"Okay, so this Saturday."

"Next Saturday."

"_This_ Saturday. You need new clothes now."

"_Next _Saturday. I have a closet full of clothes."

"Bella," Alice said her voice firm.

"Alice."

"Come on now ladies enough with the dagger stare downs and more with the walking to class," said Emmett as he wrapped his arms around mine and Alice's shoulder.

"Wow. Emmett Cullen punctual – who would have known," I said sarcastically.

"I'm nothing if not a man of many sides, my dear Belly Button."

"Belly Button?" I asked in disbelief.

"What? I like it! Anyway, have fun." Emmett released me from his cage of an arm and pushed me through the door to my Chemistry class.

"Hey Edward," I greeted as I took my seat next to him. "Or not," I said after I realized that I wasn't going to be getting a response during this life time.

Mr. Moreno was in the middle of his pH balance speech when Edward finally spoke.

"Who was that?"

I turned to my right, towards Edward, so fast I had to grab the desk to keep from falling off my stool. _I really have to stop spinning so fast, _I thought to myself. Once I regained my balance all I could do was stare at him. I didn't exactly know which emotion I was feeling right now, there was so damn many racing through my system, but I was pretty sure the ones that were strongest weren't on the yang side of the circle.

I was broken out of my stupor when Edward raised his eyebrow in a 'are you seriously mental, bitch?' sort of gesture. Then again I may have been letting my resentment help me interpret his body language... Who really knows?

"Who was who?"

"That guy earlier. The one who sat with you at lunch."

"Leonard? Why do you want to know?" I was suspicious now. Edward Piss Me Off Cullen could snark at me all he wanted but if he even tried to bad mouth my brother this bitch was getting pimp slapped.

"Leonard. Huh. Just wondering who he was, that's all." His voice was emotionless but I swear he looked irritated.

"Whatever," I replied turning back towards the front of the class. I really didn't want to break my hand punching his insanely thick skull but I would try if it came to that.

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**A/N: Think we can get ten more comments? What if I told you I already had the next chapter started? ;) Just in case you forgot how just follow my favorite little arrow!  
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	12. Chapter 11

**A/N: SO MANY REVIEWS! I was so happy :D Thanks for reading my story, I appreciate it, especially those who spare time to comment. Much Love!**

**So I actually finished this Thursday, I was just waiting for my beta's okay, but I didn't want to make you guys wait any longer - so here it is :) **

**Changes completed - Much thanks to my amazing beta that can somehow turn my rambling into a story _Bananas in Pyjamas ^^_  
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**Disclaimer: I don't ****own Twilight, Stephenie Meyer does, though I do want to do dirty things to some of the yummy characters ;)**

**Also want to thank MiCHEllE-SKiES for letting me borrow Fried Chicken!**

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Too many thoughts, too many emotions, too much crap in one blow..._

Releasing a quiet groan I dropped my head to my arms that were folded over each other on top of the desk. I was doing fine thanks to the medication the doctor gave me, despite the slight pain earlier – which was quickly resolved by some _Motrin. _However, at the moment it wasn't so much that I was in pain as I was...sore. It was as if suddenly I realized that all my energy was gone and I was left with nothing but exhaustion.

I felt drained, completely lethargic.

_Why didn't I realize this before?_

I was fighting a losing battle with my eyelids, trying to keep them open, when out of the corner of my eye I saw Edward's head turn slightly in my direction. I was beginning to wonder if Edward Cullen really was as unaware of me as he let on. But then he would have to have had a reason to actually give me some of his attention, right? I doubt that he liked me – after all he was...well he was _him_. On top of that he more often than not acted cold, not friendly. Maybe he was just abnormally curious like I was? Heck, maybe he was just a firm believer of the whole "keep your friends close and your enemies closer" thing.

"Ugh!" I grunted quietly out of frustration.

_I do believe that the more important fact is why the _hell_ you keep thinking about him._

Shut. Up. Inner me.

"Miss Swan I would appreciate it if you didn't use my class as a resting period," Mr. Moreno said, slightly irritated.

"I'm sorry Mr. Moreno," I said raising my head off my arms. "Do you think I could go to the office? I'm not feeling very well."

"If you must," he replied with a defeated sigh.

"Thanks."

Gathering my books I threw my bag over my shoulder and walked out the classroom. Pointedly not looking at Edward.

_Take that_, I thought. If he wants to ignore me then I can do the same. There's no way in hell I'm going to let him know I even think about him at all, let alone how much I actually do.

When I stepped outside the cold didn't waste any time biting at my cheeks. There was a little snow covering the ground but most of it was melted with last night's rain. Keeping a look out for black ice, I quickened my pace so I could get to the heated building sooner. Only when I was safely on linoleum did I tear my eyes away from the ground.

"Mrs. Watters?"

"Oh, hello dear. Do you need something?" she asked looking genuinely concerned.

"I was wondering if I could go home early. I'm not feeling too well."

"Sure you don't want to lie down, see if it'll pass before your next class?"

"No thanks. Besides I have gym next and I have to sit out for that, so all I would be doing is sitting."

"Why do you need to sit out?"

"It's nothing. I already gave Miss Smith a note explaining. Anyway, can I go?"

Mrs. Watters was nice, but I guess like most of Forks woman she was a frickin' red hatter. They need to know everything that isn't theirs.

"Sure dear. You can go."

"Thanks."

It was easy to keep my eyes open while I was up and moving but once I was seated in my truck I was reconsidering the whole driving concept. I haven't killed anyone yet and I didn't really feel like changing that...

"Screw it," I grumbled to myself and revved Lucia to life. It was relatively a short drive. I could do it.

I remember pulling out of the parking lot but I was kind of freaked out when the next thing I realized was that I was already parked outside my house. Shit.

I dragged my feet up the drive way and all the way to my bedroom, and collapsed on my bed when I was close enough.

I hummed my appreciation for all things soft as I buried my head in my pillow. It felt deliciously yummy. I tried toeing off my shoes and peeling my pants off while not moving anything that didn't need to be moved. It was slightly harder and more difficult than it would have been if I'd just gotten up and took them off like a normal person, but that didn't deter me. Once I was _finally_ undressed I was under the covers and out before Stewie from _Family Guy_ could say "Damn You!."

_**˳̊**_

"Bella? Bella, wake up."

"Huh?" I murmured smacking at the hands that were shaking my shoulders.

"Sorry Bell, I know you were sleeping but I wanted to know if you're up for going to school today."

"School today? Dad, I already went to school. It's probably out by now," I said cocooning myself in my comforter. It was warm and loved me and that was all that mattered at the moment.

"Um, well Bells, I think that was yesterday. I came home and you were up here sleeping, so I just let you be. Right now it's seven in the morning."

"Huh? Aw crap," I said as I looked at my clock, which only proved that my dad wasn't going senile.

"You can stay in bed for the day, Bella. If I'm being honest I would actually prefer that to you going to school. You know, take a break."

"Sure about that dad?"

"Of course. I'll call the school and tell them you aren't coming in today. Now go back to sleep."

_**˳̊**_

"_Lizzy. Lizzy. _LIZZY!"

"Aahh!" I screamed as I bolted up.

"Oops...Um, hi," Leo mumbled rubbing the back of his neck.

"Mother frickin A. What the heck Leonard?"

"Hey, don't be hatin your psychic brother."

"What are you blabbering about now?" I asked getting out of bed to look for some bottoms to wear.

"What did I just say about hate? Do you ever listen when people talk?"

"You really want a punch in the gut don't you?" I threatened slipping on black boxers.

"Hey those are mine! I wondered where those went...they were my favorite too..."

"Stop sulking, hunny bun. So tell me, why are you psychic?"

Grabbing his hand I dragged him down the stairs and into the living room.

"Because despite your recent meanness, I brought you Chinese knowing you would more than likely be skipping your scholastic adventure today."

"I know. Sorry about that, I just don't know what's wrong with me lately... And these aren't your favorite. Your slutty hoe ex girlfriend stole those before you two broke up. Don't ask me how I know," I added hastily. That was not a memory I liked to bring up.

"Mental note made, and she wasn't a slutty hoe. Now pop a squat while I pick a movie."

"Didn't you catch her and your old roommate doing the deed? Mmm, almond chicken how I love you so."

"You, my darling, have an obsession and need help," Leo accused. "And just because she's a slutty hoe doesn't mean it's nice to call her that. I'm over it."

I watched his back as he laughed at me and thought of Alice's comment from the day before. I guess if I was being honest Leonard was pretty good looking. Other girls seemed to flock towards him, but I just thought he was easy to be around. He was kind of pervy with the jokes – though seriously, what guy isn't? – but the great thing about him was that Leo knew when it was and wasn't appropriate to act like a goof ball. Unlike most guys _my_ age.

"Why are you staring at me?" Leo asked skeptically as he took a seat next to me.

"Just wondering what girls see in you," I answered honestly.

"I know you, so I know that wasn't meant to be an insult, though if I may warn you, try picking your words better next time."

"Mental note made," I teased.

"Ahh, the woman learns fast."

"Hush up dork," I replied laughing. "So what movie is it today?"

"Something scary. Something grotesque. Something that everyone said sucked so I waited till it came out on DVD to see... _Daybreakers._ Dun dun duh," Leo chanted.

"_Daybreakers? _...Oh! That vampire movie. I remember that. I wanted to see it but, well, everyone said it sucked," I finished lamely.

"I know. I'm hoping they're wrong..."

An hour later and I was in Leo's lap with my nails permanently dug into his arm. The movie was just getting to the main part, that one monumental part in a movie that will make or break it...when the doorbell rang.

When did we get a doorbell?

I was debating just ignoring it when Leonard sighed and paused the movie.

"Okay, do you want to settle this with rock, paper, scissors, or 'you owe me' match?"

"Rock, paper, scissors is faster," I whispered.

"True."

We just leveled our fists when the doorbell rang again.

"Screw this," I muttered. "Who is it?" I yelled in the general direction of the door.

"How is that smart?" Leo asked.

"It's Alice! Now open up!" A muffled wind chime yelled.

"It's open, hunny bun!"

"Alice?"

"The faery you met yesterday." I stated.

"Oh, right. Knew the name sounded familiar."

"Bella!" Alice slightly yelled as she strangled my neck.

"As much as I'm sure you love Lizzy, please don't kill her," Leo said trying to hold in his laughter. It may not have been audible but I could still feel him shaking beneath me.

"Oops, sorry."

"It's fine," I rasped. "So what ya need?"

"Nothing. I saw you weren't in school today so I took the liberty to collect your assignments for you," Alice chirped handing me a stack of papers.

"Oh, thanks. You didn't have to do that, though I really appreciate it," I said smiling. She really didn't have too. Alice barely knew me yet she was being so nice.

"What, no 'hi' Belly Button?"

Looking over Alice's shoulder, I finally realized that she wasn't the only one who came in. Along with her were Edward and Emmett. One looked dead and the other was sporting a pout.

"What, no 'hi' Emmikins?"

"Emmikins?" he asked, his voice flat.

"Belly Button?" I asked in return.

"Touché." he responded, his expression deadly serious. "So, decided to play hookie huh?"

"No, I wasn't feeling all too well so I decided to stay home."

"Obviously you were okay enough to eat Chinese." muttered an annoyed voice.

"My eating choices are my own, Cullen," I shot back, my tone cold.

"Wow. Tension," Leo drawled after a few minutes of silence. "So...anyone want to hear an embarrassing Lizzy story?"

"No!" I tried to say but it was drowned out by Emmett's loud "Hell yes!"

"Hmm, which one, which one..."

"NONE!"

"I know! Frie." Leonard's expression turned evil.

"Aw man, Leo come on," I whined. There was no way in heck that I want the Cullens to hear this story. Actually there was no way in heck I wanted the Cullens to hear _any_ story from my childhood. I swear Leo was more like an embarrassing dad sometimes than an obsessively protective brother - it's like when he wasn't one he was the other. If I didn't love the guy so much he would have definitely had his ass kicked more times than he can count by now.

"Why Lizzy. It's funny," he laughed.

"Ya, Lizzy, it's funny," mocked Emmett. He had this look in his eyes that reminded me of a kid in a candy store, but there was evil in it as well… I shrunk into Leo's chest, frightened for my sanity.

"You don't even know what it is Emmett," I cried.

"No, not yet. However my dear Belly Button I would if you would be quiet and let the man tell the story."

"Okay, first you should know that growing up Lizzy had a _very_ active imagination. Like you don't even know. Anyway, us and Charlie had to go to the grocery store to get food because there was absolutely nothing to eat in the house, when out of nowhere this chick," Leo said shaking his arms that were wrapped around me "starts crying like she just heard she was going to die. It put banshees to shame. So, there we were in the store trying to figure out what the hell was making her cry. You should have seen Charlie man, he was going frantic - it was hilarious. I was about to walk back and ask her what was wrong when she suddenly runs up to me and grabs onto my leg, with a strength that no ten year should possess, and starts rambling about how someone ran away. I finally got her to calm down after about five minutes, and I can't even begin to tell you how many people stopped to stare during that time, and so I ask her '_who_ ran away?'"

At this point I finally got over the mortification - this was not one of my better moments as a kid - to look up. Edward looked dead, Emmett looked like he was desperately trying no to laugh, and Alice looked like she was being told a bed time story. One good thought during all of this: at least I would only have to hear about it from one of them. Alice would probably rather talk about fashion, Edward didn't talk besides insults, but Emmett was another story.

"So she finally stopped crying long enough to scream _'Fried Chicken ran away!'_ It was hilarious. Everyone was looking at her like she'd gone nuts, Charlie's mouth was hanging open from shock, meanwhile I was trying to not fall on my butt from laughing so hard. It was amazing."

I could feel Leonard shaking with laughter beneath me at the same time I heard Emmett's booming laughter fill the house.

"Who-who-who the heck is fried chicken?" Emmet managed to choke out between laughs. He was practically crying with laughter.

"Fried Chicken was Bella's imaginary friend."

"No it wasn't," I growled. "I was traumatized then and I'm humiliated now."

"Wait, wait, wait! You had a fried chicken for an imaginary friend?" Emmett asked excited. The jerk.

"No, his _name_ was Fried Chicken - sometimes Frie - but he was a _duck_." I knew I wasn't helping my case but I couldn't help but still feel defensive over my old friend. Frie was amazingly awesome then and now, and I wasn't just going to sit here and let someone I don't know make fun of him. Even if it meant I was blushing so badly I was probably giving Alice sunburn.

Emmett was still laughing at the whole thing, more so now that it was explained to him, but Leo was looking at me with affection shining through his green eyes. No one except Leo could look at me like that and not make it creepy - and I loved him for it.

"You had - an imaginary friend - named Fried Chicken," Emmet forced out while fighting for air. "That's amazing! Don't tell me he looked like a chicken duck cross breed?"

"Oh crap, let's see…That's right! He - mmph" I clapped my hands over Leo's mouth - stopping him mid-sentence.

"He didn't look like anything. He was just a duck. That's it," I said hurriedly.

"I don't believe that for a second," Emmett said _still_ laughing.

_Seriously? This isn't even that funny! All kids have imaginary friends._

"What does it matter what he looked like? Frie was my best friend and I'm not ashamed of that!"

"Then why won't you tell me what he looked like?" Emmett asked deviously.

I'll hand it to the bastard - he was good.

Fine then if you really want to know, no he wasn't some weird chicken duck cross breed – that's gross. He looked like a normal duck, except he had cheetah print fur, sharp teeth, and wings - but he couldn't fly. Happy?"

"Why, I'm very happy my Belly-Button," Emmett replied with a big smile on his face. _Well it's better than the vicarious laughter, _I thought. "So if he has wings why can't he fly?"

"Why are so interested in my imaginary friends," I asked laughing.

"Why not? I only know Frie so far but he's pretty fun. Got any others?"

"No, just Frie. And Emmett...you kinda look like a lech with that smile."

Emmett opened his mouth to retort when suddenly the shit was scared out of my by the sound of my front door being busted open.

Leonard's hold on me tightened protectively around me while I froze out of instinct.

"What the hell is taking you idiots so long!" someone screeched from the hallway.

"We're coming Rosie," Emmett replied.

My muscles unlocked as I realized that it was just a pissed off Rosalie. Feeling this Leo looked at me and I just nodded my head, telling him it was okay.

"When exactly, Emmett? Me and Jasper have been waiting in that damn car for almost ten minutes now," Rosalie demanded as she walked into the living room.

"We should get going," Edward said coldly, speaking for only the second time since they arrived.

"Okay," Alice said reluctantly. "See you in school tomorrow?"

"Sure thing, Alice."

"See ya Belly-Button."

"Bye Emmikins!"

"Bye _Frie_," he replied, grinning like an idiot.

"Interesting friends you have there, Lizzy," Leonard finally said once the front door closed with a thud.

"Hmm," I hummed in response.

"So how about we see if Edward becomes a vampire again?"

"Sounds like a plan." Snuggling into Leo I let my mind wander as we watched the last part of the movie.

_**˳̊**_

"Bella?"

"Living room dad," I yelled.

"So Bella, I didn't think you'd want to – Oh, hey Leo. Somehow I knew you'd be here..."

"Hey Charlie."

"So what did you think I wouldn't want to do, dad?" I asked trying to break the slightly awkward tension. Lately, for some unknown reason, Charlie hasn't been Leonard's biggest fan. I tried asking him about it but he just mumbled something and walked away.

"Oh, right. I didn't think you'd want to cook tonight so I got a pizza. Extra pepperoni," Charlie stated looking proud.

"Thanks dad, this is great."

I got up to get us some plates and soda as well as an ice pack for Leo's arm – I think I permanently bruised it – and was surprised to come back and find Charlie and Leonard in a little huddle kind of thing. There was whispering. I didn't like it.

"What's going on?"

At the sound of my voice both of them jumped apart like they'd been tasered.

"Nothing," my dad grunted.

"Charlie, don't even try lying to me. I know you too well. Now spill it," I demanded.

Instead of answering me, my dad turned towards Leo, his eyes pleading for him to do something.

"There's nothing really _going_ on, it's more like something that we want you to consider..." Leo paused but continued when he realized he wasn't going to get any type of response from me. "So, your dad went down to La Push the other day, you know when you were at my house, and he ran into Billy's son, Jacob. Turns out the guy likes you but he's been too afraid to talk to you since I'm around you pretty much constantly."

"Wait. He actually _told _you that he likes me?" I turned towards my dad in disbelief.

"Well no, he didn't _say_ it, but he wouldn't shut up about you, no offense kid, and he wasn't really trying to hide it. Anyone could have figured it out."

"Okay, now that I know he isn't a total retard, er, why are you telling me this?"

"Umm, right. Well, we were wondering how opposed you would be towards going out with the boy. Just once, you know, to see if you like him..."

"Are you seriously trying to play match maker?"

"Just trying to help you out Bells. You're eighteen – you need to start experiencing some of the things that life offers," he stated firmly.

Cue guilt trip, now.

"Fine," I mumbled in defeat.

"You'll do it?"

"Yes. But only if he mans up and asks me himself. I don't feel like dating a _boy_."

"That's my girl," Charlie said smiling again.

"Whatever. Here are your damn plates, you crazies," I said not able to contain my own smile.

"Language."

"Sorry dad."

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**A/N: Think possibly I could get twenty comments this time? I know you guys can do it ^^ Just follow the wavy arrow. Oh, and don't forget to follow me on my new blog - it has everything you need: http:/maryxweather(dot)blogspot(dot)com  
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	13. Chapter 12

**Over 20 reviews! Thanks guys ^^ I know I don't reply to all of them but I really appreciate you guys taking your time to give your opinions. Much love!**

**Much thanks to my amazing beta _Bananas in Pyjamas _who not only revises my story but lets me bounce ideas off her =]**

**I want to dedicate this chapter to "me" - anonymous reviewer - for sending me a picture of two squirrels humping. Made my day ;)**

**Disclaimer: I don't ****own Twilight, Stephenie Meyer does...one day it will be mine *bwahahaha  
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I knew things were going too well for too long. I was actually beginning to wonder when my body would remind me of its newly realized invasion.

After I finished dinner I worked on some homework and then decided to head to bed early. Seemed like a nice ending to a nice day.

That was almost two frickin hours ago.

The hot shower earlier managed to ease some of the tension that was created by new stresses and finishing up my nightly routine took about all of twenty minutes. I was really starting to feel drowsy when I was crawling in bed but the drowsiness only managed to make its presence known for a few seconds... The moment my back hit the mattress I felt like my waist was being stabbed with a sharp knife.

A small shriek managed to escape before I quickly covered my mouth with my hand as I sat up.

Admittedly I always had a sort of pain around my midsection but it was dull and I'd grown used to it back in Phoenix. This however, I was not used to.

Sitting up it seemed to recede a little – it wasn't as...sharp...prominent? Whatever it was there was less of it when I wasn't lying down. I tried a few more times after that but every time the pain would spike back to the excruciating level.

When midnight rolled around I figured I wouldn't be getting any sleep tonight, and if I did somehow I knew it wouldn't be very pleasant. With that revelation I climbed out of bed and headed over towards my single book shelf and grabbed one of my more YA novels – reading always seemed to make the night pass faster.

I managed to finish one of my favorite parts in the book – when Valentine traps Clary and escapes while kidnapping Jace – when my alarm clock went off. I felt a little satisfaction knowing I at least read past all the monumental events except the last one – which I still hated because when I read it the first time the second book hadn't come out yet. Hate cliff hangers...especially good ones, you can't help but appreciate the quality of them...

I veered from my morning routine by taking a shower but I always felt refreshed after taking them so it'll help keep me awake. Wanting to prove to Alice that I owned dresses – since she didn't see the one I wore the other day apparently – I threw on my black tulip dress with the headline 'Vampire Bats from Mars' on it with two large bats flying around. Leo told me I had to get it since it looked like a 60's movie ad...

I was thinking of the day that Leonard found it in the clearance bin, but instead of the usual amusement I felt when I thought of those moments I was left feeling empty. It was as if the memory suddenly held a note of finality...of me never being able to reach that state of happiness again.

"Bella! School! Late!" Charlie bellowed up the stairs.

"I know! I'm coming!"

Just like that my day went like all the others. Dragging my feet to class. Talking to Alice at lunch. Ignoring Edward during AP Chemistry. Evading Mike throughout all of that.

Everything went on like it should.

No one knew any of the shit I was going through...

̊˳

"Okay, stop it," I growled to myself. I would _not_ allow myself to have a pity party. School was weird, yes. However, that did not give me the right to blame everyone for not knowing what I didn't want to tell them in the first place. Renee knows. Charlie knows. Leo knows. That's all that matters.

I was putting the final touches on Grandma Swan's casserole when I heard the phone ringing from the hall. There was no way I was in the right state of mind to talk to someone, and be civil, so I just let it ring. It stopped a few seconds later but began just as quickly.

"Crap."

Sighing I put the casserole in the oven and rushed to get the phone before it stopped again – I didn't want the caller to suffer.

"Swan residence."

"Yes hello, this is Jenny from Virginia Mason Seattle Main Clinic. I'm calling for a Miss Isabella Swan."

"This is she," I answered confused.

"Oh, wonderful. Well I'm calling to remind you of your check up next Saturday at eleven o'clock."

"Next Saturday?"

If I had any kind of appointment then Charlie must have set it up. It would be helpful if he remembered to tell me these things, but then again who could really blame him for forgetting a few things, what with all the stress that he's been under lately – even if he did hide it well.

"Yes _next_ Saturday, the sixth of February."

"Okay. Um, thank you very much for calling."

"My pleasure. Have a nice day."

The sound of a dial tone filled my ears before I even had a chance to open my mouth and say goodbye.

"Shit," I muttered to myself as I thought of the implications of this. Oddly enough the first thing that came to mind was that Alice would be getting her wish.

Apparently I was going shopping this weekend, and the feeling of impending doom that settled over me wasn't encouraging. The main problem was how to tell Alice... Today was Friday so I couldn't exactly wait till school.

Going back to the kitchen I grabbed the phone book that Charlie kept in one of the cupboards and looked for the name Cullen.

Unlisted. Fabulous.

There were two ways I could do this. One, call my dad and ask him to look it up for me – being Chief of Police should be taken advantage of once or twice. The other option, sneak into the Hospital's employee records and get it that way. Honestly, I was all for the second option, sounded a hell of a lot more fun, but I figured that having my dad arrest me wasn't on his to-do list at the moment.

I was just writing the station's number on my palm when the damn phone rang again. We've never gotten this many calls in one day.

"Swan residence."

"Bella!" someone yelled, forcing me to jerk the phone away from my ear.

"Alice?"

"Yup."

"Weird. I was just trying to call you."

"Why is that Belly-Button?"

"Not you too," I moaned. It was bad enough Emmett did it.

"It's cute," she replied laughing.

"Whatever. Anyway, about that shopping trip next Saturday, would you hate me if I told you I was just told that I have plans I can't get out of, and we would now have to do it tomorrow?"

"Not at all! Have you seen what you wear? You need clothes now!" she exclaimed.

"So –"

"I'll pick you up tomorrow at seven – don't be late."

"Seven? In the morning? No wa –"

"See ya tomorrow!"

And then I was left with a dial tone. Seven in the morning? Who the hell gets up that early on a weekend? And why did she call in the first place? All we talked about was moving the shopping date.

Shoving the thought away I trudged my way up the stairs to work on some homework. I had a feeling I would be getting home pretty late tomorrow.

_**˳̊**_

"I am not buying that."

"Bella," the annoying pixie whined.

"No. It's the size of a napkin. There's no way that can rightly be called a dress."

"But it would look gorgeous on you!"

"No. And don't you even think of buying it for me," I added as she reached to grab the offending scrap of material.

"You're being unreasonably stubborn."

"No I'm not. I just don't feel like paying for something that I will _never_ wear."

"How do you knowyou'll never wear it?" She was angry now.

"Because I know me!"

As promised Alice was in my driveway beeping on her annoying horn at seven in the god forsaken morning. Somehow we managed to make it to the Port Angeles mall in less than an hour.

We've been here for five hours now and have visited almost every overpriced strongly perfumed clothing boutique. Alice insisted on buying me the things that would "look fabulous" on me that I didn't want to waste my money on. I was able to talk her out of most of it but she still managed to shove three bags of clothing on me. I was afraid to look at the prices of the clothes inside them.

"How about we talk about it over food?"

"There's nothing to talk about – you're getting that dress," she insisted.

"How about this. We get _food_, and then if you don't make me get this hideous..._thing_, we'll go back to that one store with the lime green and gray walls and get that one dress that you wanted me to buy. Deal?"

"Deal! Come on," she said dragging me out of the store.

"Wait, Alice, the food court is the other way."

"Clothes are more important than food," she sang. Literally sang.

"Alice, I'm _starving_," I said unable to keep form laughing at her. Maybe Emmett was right – I _didn't_ know what I was getting myself in to.

Releasing my hand Alice walked straight into the store, grabbed the dress, and marched to the register. I was about to protest on her spending _more_ money on me, but decided not to when she started glaring at me.

I broke out laughing when a few minutes later she _skipped_ out of the store and daintily handed me the bag. In all honesty it was a cute dress. It was a jade green with big white dots on it – there were only a few so it didn't look cluttered. I imagined it would be a little lower than mid thigh on me, and the sleeves were long and baggy but constricted on the forearm where the material was void of the circles.

After pizza and breadsticks, because let's face it, mall pizza is the best, both of us had our arms full of bags. Somehow it seemed like I was the only one struggling with the weight...

"Alice, we have been shopping for almost ten hours! Don't you think it's time to call it quits? Besides, I don't think we could carry anymore bags."

"But there are still some stores I want to check out."

"More? Alicat, I love you, I really do, but I think you have a problem. No one should be able to shop this much in one day and want to continue."

"I suppose it is getting kind of late..." she sounding like someone just burned down her favorite store. "Alright, let's go."

"Hey, don't be so down. Just think of all the cute clothes you got. I'm sure Jasper will love them," I said winking.

"I can think of someone who will love your clothes too."

I was shocked by her statement and turned to see her smiling deviously before she could hide it.

"What are you –"

"Nothing. Now let's get these bags in the car."

The ride home was fast as Alice took it upon herself to tell me what clothes would look great together and what she would kill me for if she saw me wearing. Alice had to help me carry my stuff in the house, but I refused to let her in my room – it wasn't at its cleanest.

As soon as she was out the door I went to the kitchen and took one of the pain meds I got. My chest was slightly bothering me as was the pain in my abdomen. I don't think my body was used to me doing this much in one day.

I threw the left over casserole in the oven for dinner and set to work on trying to fit all my new purchases in my closet. Needless to say there wasn't room so some of it had to be put in my dresser, but eventually everything had a place.

"Bella?"

"Hey dad," I called rushing down the stairs to check on the food. It was a little over cooked but it wasn't necessarily burnt...

"You okay? You look a little pale..." Charlie asked as he entered the kitchen. I've never seen a man go from calm to panicked so fast. Again I felt guilty for what this was doing to him.

"I'm fine. Just a little tired."

"If you're sure," he said sounding uncertain. "Listen, there's someone in the living room wanting to see you."

"Um, thanks."

I was confused about who would be waiting for me but knew what was going on as soon as I saw his long black ponytail. He had his back turned towards me – looking at the few pictures on one of the small tables – so he didn't see that I was there. I cleared my throat to get his attention.

I must have spooked him because he whirled around so fast he managed to trip on his own feet, his hands shot out to catch himself but it just resulted in him sending the contents of the little table on the floor.

"Oh my gosh, are you okay?" I asked rushing over to help him up.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he answered his face his face taking on a red tint behind his copper skin.

I was biting my lip, trying to keep from letting my laughter escape, but it was getting really hard. The whole situation was just so funny.

"Are you sure," I asked as a chuckle managed to burst though.

"Yeah." I felt bad when his face got a little redder.

It didn't seem like he was going to say anything else so I bent down to pick up the picture frame and the lamp...or was going to until I saw there was a giant hole in the glass that made the lamps shape.

"Crap, I'm sorry."

"It's fine. Really. I've been trying to talk Charlie into getting a new one anyway. So, you wanted to see me?" I asked.

"Um, yeah, I did. I'm Jacob by the way, you may not remember me...we used to play together when we were little."

"I remember. You were the one who threw mud in my face." I added a smile to show him I was just teasing.

"Oh, well, um sorry?"

"It' fine," I said laughing rather loudly. I'm sure this wasn't how he wanted things to go. "If I remember correctly I retaliated pretty nicely."

"Right," he said laughing a little with me. "Anyway, um, I just came to ask you...to see if you would like to go out with me? Next Saturday that is."

_What's with people and Saturdays?_

"I actually have plans next Saturday. Sorry. But any other day would be fine," I added hastily.

"Really?" he asked surprised.

"Yeah."

"Okay, um, how about Saturday after next?" He was smiling so big now my cheeks ached just looking.

"Sounds great," I said smiling right along with him.

"Great. I'll call you to, uh, tell you the time and stuff."

"Thanks."

"Well, I guess I'll go now. Thanks – it was great seeing you again."

"Yeah. See you then."

"Definitely," he said as he walked out the door. Still grinning.

I turned around to head back to the kitchen when I saw Charlie standing there with a broom.

"You heard?" I asked as I took it from him.

"Of course. What kind of father would I be if I didn't keep an eye on the boys asking my daughter out?"

"You're weird."

"And you're a good kid, Bells."

"Thanks dad. I'll serve dinner after I clean up this mess. I hope you don't mind its leftovers tonight."

"It's fine. So what plans do you have next Saturday?"

"I have that check up, remember?" I asked over my shoulder. I guess he really did forget. "They called the other day to remind me. Anyway, I know it's not really an all day thing but I figured I could hang out with Leo afterwards. I thought maybe you could go fishing with Billy or something?"

"Oh that's right... Sorry, must have slipped my mind. But that does sound like a good plan. He was planning on coming over to watch the game with me anyway – our TV's bigger," he said waggling his eyebrows.

"Okay, that's just creepy. No man your age should do that," I said laughing again.

Walking into the kitchen I realized how much today was definitely better than yesterday.

"So you want me to come with you to this check up?"

"I'd like that. Thanks dad."

"Anytime, kiddo," he said giving me that grin that makes his eyes crinkle in the corners.

I smiled back but the pain in his eyes didn't pass my notice.

"Here. I'm not hungry so I'm just gonna head to bed."

Once in my room I crawled in my bed, feeling the pain flare once again, and just let the tears come.

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**A/N: Think maybe we could twenty-five reviews? It might just make Edward talk to Bella ^^ I have faith in you amazing people! Just follow the arrow and click the button**

**Side note: The next installment might not be for a few weeks - sorry :( Things at home suddenly got really shitty and chaotic and then I'm starting college next month, so there's basically a lot going on at the moment... I'm not for sure but just in case I wanted to warn you guys - though I promise I'll send the next chapter to my beta as soon as I finish it ^^**

**Thanks for reading - hope ya enjoyed!  
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	14. Edward Sneak

**So a lot of you are asking for more Bella Edward mingling. More of them...conversing. I'm sorry to say but I can't do that _yet_. Very very soon, but not yet. Anyway, I got to thinking and I remembered that I had this from one of my random writing urges. It was collecting digital dust on my laptop...  
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**This is the only EPov that I have written so far, and to be honest I don't know if I'll write too many more. It's hard for me to get into his mindset in this story. Though, if you like this and have any EPov request just say which scene and I'll give it a try...see what comes.**

**Anyway here it is, my un-beta checked EPov - hopefully enough to last you until the...argument...breakdown...gentle conversation... You'll find out soon ;)**

**Disclaimer: Again, I do not own Twilight  
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I was coming down stairs after spending the whole day in my room – I needed a change of scenery – when Alice burst through the door with her arms covered in shopping bags of every color and size.

"Shopping again, Alice? Didn't you just go the other day?"

"Yes, but the other day I didn't a have a shopping partner."

"What are you talking about?" Sniffing the air I thought there was a familiar scent clinging to her but it was fading. Being covered by the smell of new clothes and just Alice herself.

"Well dear brother, if you paid any attention to what was going on you would know that I went shopping with Bella today."

Bella. That was the familiar scent. I only _really_ smelled it once, by accident no less, but I knew I would never forget the smell of her blood.

Like freesia and lilacs and artificial strawberries.

"Whatever," I muttered as I passed her to go sit in the living room with Esme and Jasper.

_Now don't act like that. I know what I've seen_, she said for me alone.

"You've see nothing," I almost hissed. Why Alice insisted that the blurs she saw could be called legible visions I would never know.

"Why are you denying this?" Alice whined as she unceremoniously dumped her bags on the floor and came and sat next to me.

"I'm not denying anything. You're just drawing your own conclusions from something that's probably more than likely nothing."

"Edward, I know what I'm talking about. I know what _will_ happen."

"Alice," I growled. I couldn't take this anymore.

"Edward," Jasper warned, his body tensing as if getting ready for a fight.

"Just drop it Alice," I said, leaving no room for argument.

I didn't feel much like wasting time with my family anymore so settled on heading back up to my room.

Ever since I came back from Denali Alice has been talking about Bella Swan, both mentally and verbally, nonstop.

Smelling her that day in the cafeteria, not more than a few feet away from me, almost destroyed me. The moment she sat down with her generic human food I was drowned by her scent. It was ht most irresistible blood I had ever smelled in my entire existence. The monster in me destroyed the last breath of humanity I clung to and forced my body to lung at the human child. If Emmett hadn't of been right next to me there is no doubt in this world that Bella Swan would have died in that ruddy cafeteria.

After that Alice saw that I would be in AP Chemistry with the girl, so I did the only thing that I knew would keep me from revealing my family's secret: I ran. Instead of facing what was before me I went and hid in Denali with a coven we ran across a few years ago. They were nice, but mostly unmated females...

Specifically one name Tanya. No, I was not thinking of how my hasty retreat to Alaska would affect the lone vampire that has tried to capture my attention. I didn't spend much time in the house so the awkward situation was easily avoidable at first. However, while I was laying the snow trying to sort through the mess that was my mind she tracked me down.

I felt terrible when I heard her think that she believed I returned for her, but I corrected the belief as gently as possible. Tanya was beautiful, but she didn't consume me...not like a pair of chocolate colored eyes filled with a foreign burst of confidence and determination.

Now, back in Forks and laying on my black leather couch, it was not only those eyes that haunted me. Consumed my thoughts and provoked my irritation.

My mind kept returning to the lab day in AP Chemistry... How her scent was stronger when she stood no more than a few inches from me. How I had trouble keeping myself from reaching over and stroking her cheek with the back of my hand. A lot of my thoughts settled on the sound it would make if I back handed Mike...always so happy and clingy and annoying. And now, to accompany all of my other thoughts, was new ones that came to life the moment I saw that _boy_ kiss her cheek. Who was he and how were they close enough for him to kiss her? Was he her friend? Was he a brother of hers that Chief Swan never mentioned? I couldn't harbor the thought of him being her boyfriend without containing the growl that erupted from the deer recesses of my chest.

And that just sparked new questions and things the ponder.

What _exactly_ did I feel towards Bella?...

More importantly what was she hiding? What was it that was going on in her life that she considered "complicated" and who was the "someone" that knew about it already?

_**˳̊**_

The weekend passed with boredom and not so subtle hints from Alice.

I would admit that I was curious about the girl but it was better not only for her but my entire family that I didn't get too close to her. Becoming her friend could result in us having to move again.

It was Sunday night – or was Monday morning more appropriate? – when there was the distinct sound of Esme's favorite glass vase shattering against our floor.

All of us were in the foyer within a second – wondering what would cause one of us to drop anything, let alone glass – it was messy to clean up.

I was shocked when I realized it was Alice that had dropped it. Jasper was beside her, cradling her face in his hands, in an instant.

He was asking her what was she saw, but instead of answering him she turned towards me and replayed her vision that shocked her motionless.

Me and Bella.

More than that. Me and Bella getting soak by the pouring rain but not caring because we were dancing and laughing.

After that the image shifted to one of us laying in my secret meadow, surrounded by flowers...both of our skin reflecting the sunlight as if our skin was made of diamond...

Both of us vampires.

"No," I mumbled taking a step back.

Alice didn't say anything, just answering with a slow nodding of her head.

"It can't. I won't let it," I hissed.

There was no way I was letting Bella become a vampire...I wouldn't get close enough to let it happen...

"You can't stop it Edward."

"What did you see, Alice," Jasper demanded from beside her.

"Bella...she was one of us...she was with Edward."

"He attacked her?"

"No. He's _with_ her, Jazz."

"You don't know that," I growled. "There was no proof of that in what I saw."

"Then look again," Alice demanded.

And there it was. Alice's proof that I was "with" Bella.

It wasn't as simple as us dancing or staring at each other in a meadow... We were standing in our house, in front of Pastor Weber. We were getting wed.

The strangest part, the one that made no sense, the one that scared me the most - Bella was sickly pale, make up covered the dark circles under her eyes, and she was wearing a very convincing wig...

"No."

"You can't change it Edward. It's too strong – it's meant to happen."

"NO! I _can_ stop it. I will change the future."

"You can try," she replied unsure.

"I'm going."

"Where," Esme asked from beside me.

"Out."

I was outside and jumping over the river faster than I ever had before... I needed to get away from everyone else's thoughts so I could focus on mine.

I need to think.

I _would_ stay away from Bel...Isabella.

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**A/N: I'm not asking for the usual 20 comments. Though if you want to tell me what you think I would love it :)**


	15. Chapter 13

**In my last A/N I said I probably wouldn't be updating for a while but rihgt now writing is proving to be a wonderful distraction =] In fact, the next update is almost half done.**

**Okay, as all of you have been waiting and requesting for, EdwardxBella times will start picking up now ^^ **

**I want to thank my Beta _Bananas in Pyjamas_ for being amazing! :D**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, not me... *tear  
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Five weeks.

It had been five weeks since my first chemotherapy treatment. Charlie went with me, he said it was for moral support, and it comforted me. I was happy knowing that there was someone waiting for me, but when we go there I kind of wished he had stayed home. I was a mess in every sense of the word and I wanted to just let it all out – instead I had to pretend that I was okay for my dad... We had only been waiting for a few minutes when a nurse came and told me to follow her.

I could go into all the gory details of the first of my many chemo treatments. I could explain how I barley registered anything the nurse said – the only thing I really remember is that she was taking me to the Infusion Room. Explain how when we got there the nurse, Mandy, smeared red cleaning liquid over the bump my port made, and then how I immediately closed my eyes when I saw her reaching for the needle specifically for port access, as she informed me. It was a small yellow square that looked like it had a large safety pin coming out of it. I was mentally screaming every swear word known to man as I felt her pinch the skin above my bump and insert the needle. But after that everything happened a lot less painfully than I thought it would... And every time I went back it was the same old routine.

It had also been five weeks since my first date with Jacob – it was only a couple of days after my chemo. Surprisingly it went _really_ well. We ended up going to some pizza place in Seattle which did _amazing_ crusts – it was covered with garlic and other seasonings – and at the end he tried to kiss me but I ducked and he ended up kissing my cheek. On the few dates we'd been on after that he made sure not to try that again. It wasn't that I was opposed to kissing Jake, he was nice, sweet, and really cute, but every time he did something...romantic...I would get a mental image of Edward doing the same thing.

I didn't know what it meant but I didn't like that I liked it.

Most annoyingly, and the most painful, was that it had also been five weeks since me and a certain Edward Cullen had talked. I tried a few times during AP Chemistry but he never even acknowledged that I'd said anything. It was as if one day he just decided that he hated me. It hurt more than I cared to admit. My "inner Bella" kept yelling at me to snap out of it, I mean I've only talked to the guy maybe one time, but that didn't stop the stab of rejection I felt in my chest whenever I saw him.

Somehow all of that managed to lead to now – me in the middle of March contemplating what my life would look like to a stranger, and ending up with a well used cliché.

A picture. A painting.

If someone were to view my life as a painting they would see a canvas covered in giant blurs of silver and red with black spots splattered in random places.

The pain from my port-a-cath went away quite quickly after the surgery. The only reason I continued to take the pain pills till the bottle was empty was because I was hoping it would help with the pain that was permanently resident in my abdomen. After the first few times I knew that it wasn't doing anything but I refused to admit it, so I still took them. Hoping that maybe it would magically work and at least lessen the hurt a little bit.

That was what made up the silvers and reds of my life. The damn stabbing.

It felt as if my sides were being sliced open with invisible knifes. Sometimes I would lay there just imagining how the knife would be made of the shiniest silver, glowing in the light, and how the bottom half would be coated in my blood, glistening like slick rubies. I was thankful for the reprieve though, the black spots on the canvas. They were the times over the weeks when my mind would give in for a few seconds and I would black out.

I felt as if I was living a _Poe _story at times.

"Miss Swan? Are you present Miss Swan?"

Snapping back to reality I realized that Mr. Moreno was standing in front of me waving his hand back in forth – trying to get my attention. I immediately felt guilty – it was as if every time I lost myself in my thoughts it was in the middle of his class. Poor guy...

"Sorry, Mr. Moreno. Accident – won't happen again," I apologized.

"Thank you Miss Swan. I appreciate it when my students pay attention during my class," he said sarcastically.

"Now, as I was saying. As all of you may know exams are in two weeks. And, as I usually do, instead of giving you one giant test I'm assigning all of you a project that will count as fifty percent of your exam grade and then you will be taking a smaller test on the actual exam day.

"That way all you of you have a fighting chance at passing this class.

"'What is the project?' you ask. Well, as some of you may have heard from previous seniors that have taken my class, you know that every year you are assigned a baby book. Yes, a baby book, Mr. Newton." Turning around to look behind me I saw Mike slowly putting his hand down. "This isn't just _any_ baby book," Mr. Moreno continued. "This is an element baby book. You and your partner, the person sitting next to you as a matter of fact, will pick an element from the chart and create a baby book for it. I'll be handing out a syllabus here directly that will state all the guidelines, what you _need_ in your book and what I really don't care about but will probably get you bonus points."

As the teacher passed the papers to each table I turned to look towards my partner. Edward Cullen. He looked just as thrilled as I did about this...and a little horrified if I was being honest. I literally felt my self-confidence shriveling at the sight of his expression.

I admit I was no Eva Mendes but I wasn't excruciating to look at. I was pretty damn hot, if I may be so smug. But no! Ask Edward Cullen and I made the Wicked Witch of the West look like a runway model. Jerk...

"So... What element are we going for?" I asked warily. "Maybe something easy?"

He was still facing the front of the class, refusing to acknowledge my presence, but I was still able to see him roll his eyes.

_Yep, he's a jerk_.

"Tell me exactly, what is an _easy _element?" he asked snidely.

"Okay, don't even try and pull that shit with me, because I – "

"Why Isabella, did you just _swear_? That's not something a lady should do."

"Yeah, well last time I checked a gentleman didn't act like an ass – especially to a _lady_. And if you took the time to stop thinking about yourself, and read the stinking hand out the teacher just gave us, you'd notice that any element with a low number of protons, neutrons, and electrons is an easy element. We have to use those numbers to draw a picture of it." I was so infuriated I was actually shaking. I figured I needed to calm down a bit before I added a heart attack to my current list of medical problems.

"Mr. Moreno," Edward called raising his hand in the air.

"Yes, Mr. Cullen?"

"It says here that an element is only allowed to be used by one group. No one can have the same."

"That is correct. Have you decided which one you want to do?"

"Yes, actually. Isabella and myself decided we'd like to do Mercury."

"Okay, then. I'll write you two down for that."

I watched in stunned silence as Mr. Moreno walked off to help another group. My gaze shot toward Edward to see him wearing an irritatingly smug smile.

It scared the shit out of me...

Frantically I flipped to back of the book, where the table of elements was, and searched for Mercury.

I was beginning to get angry again when I couldn't find it at first, and it must have been pretty evident on my face, because Cullen was _nice_ enough to help me.

"You'll find it under the Transition Metal section."

Sparing him a glance I continued to look for our baby element, focusing solely on the section he told me.

_That fucker..._

"Eighty. You assigned us eighty? Why the hell would you do that?" I was trying not to yell but I doubted I was having much luck with it.

"Yes. Mercury happens to be an underappreciated element, I thought it'd be fun."

"You – You pri – "

"Swearing again, Isabella?"

"It's Bella," I said stonily.

"I think I prefer Isabella – it's more formal."

"And I think I prefer dickhead – it's more accurate."

Gathering my book and backpack I walked out of the class without waiting for the bell. I knew Mr. Moreno was too busy to notice me leaving anyway...

I'd had enough of Edward Cullen for one day.

_**˳̊**_

As soon as I got home I headed straight for my bed. This whole 'you have cancer and dying' thing was taking a lot out of me. I sometimes wondered if this was what a pregnant lady felt like. Always tired and always in pain – the only difference was where I was losing my appetite for food I think their appetite grew... They ate for two, right?

It must have been a couple of hours when my dad woke me up but I felt like I was only sleeping for a few minutes.

"Bella, wake up. We have to go soon," Charlie said softly as he nudged my arm.

"Okay," I grumbled from under my pillow

Once he left my room I dragged myself out of bed. Nothing in the world could make this day worse – that's my opinion at least. I tried to dress comfy yet warm, which was kind of hard with my wardrobe – you'd have to see it to understand. I heard Charlie yelling up the stairs telling me that we had to leave in ten minutes. Not much time to get ready, but then again I was just going to the doctors, not really something to dress up for.

Impending doom. Fantastic. Ever since that first time I knew that me and chemotherapy wouldn't get along. For me, all I have to do is sit there in a supposedly comfortable chair while a needle hangs out of my port-a-cath pumping chemicals in me. It wasn't really bad in terms of painful, it was actually very painless; however, it was torture to someone who freaked whenever the word 'needle' was mentioned.

I threw on my black-and-white striped thigh socks and then slipped on my dark gray dress. It was made of a sweatshirt type material and had a small row of buttons on the chest – I learned early that it was easiest to wear v-necks, easy access to the port-a-cath. .

Grabbing my black chunky boots I ran down the stairs and saw my dad was already waiting for me by the door.

"Ready?"

"Sure dad."

The drive to the clinic was a quiet one. I couldn't tell if the silence was awkward or tense – for me it was just awkward. I didn't know what to say... I blamed part of it on the cruiser though since I never knew what to do with myself when I was in it.

"You figure I'd be used to this already..." I heard my dad mutter from the driver's seat.

"What?"

"Nothing, Bells. Don't worry about it," he said throwing me a quick smile before focusing back on the road.

"It'll be fine dad," I murmured as I rubbed his shoulder. "It might not be that easy now, but I'm sure someday it will."

It was silent after that, and I didn't really expect a response to something like that, but after a while I heard Charlie mumble thanks.

I knew I didn't really deserve it, I was just trying to help him, but I accepted it anyway.

I would never say it out loud but I knew it would never get better.

Not for a long time.

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**A/N: Over 25 reviews last time! ^^ I can't tell you how happy reading those makes me! I'm hoping we can get another 25 again. Who knows - it may make Edward dance with Bella in the rain ;) Just follow the arrow and voice what ya think!**

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	16. Chapter 14

**Answer time! **

**1. Yes, in most chemotherapy - that I researched - the patients do get sick and start to loose their hair; however, Bella has only had five so far and it just doesn't happen quite that fast. I _am_ trying to keep this story as legit as possible. Trust me when I tell you that I have already researched a lot ^^**

**2. The reason Bella hasn't told her doctors about her pain is because they already know about it. Pain is actually a given when someone has pancreatic cancer. No, Bella will not be prescribed pain medication because that's what the chemotherapy is for - to help reduce the pain. **

**3. Blood. Yes, the Cullens _do_ smell something slightly off with her blood, only those that have gotten close enough to smell it though. More about that will be mentioned in later chapters. **

**4. Bella views Leonard as her brother and nothing else. I can promise you that there will be no romantic love between the two. The reason that Charlie was angry with Leo earlier was because he initially didn't want Bella dating, but Leo was pushing it. Eventually he convinced Charlie that it would be a good experience for her and he decided to press the issue as well. **

**5. The reason that Alice hasn't been getting visions is because Edward has, quite frankly, screwed up their futures. Alice was beginning to "see" him and Bella but when he decided not to become involved with her in any way the future became a mess. Before that she simply did not know Bella enough to pick up "clips" of her future.**

**I seriously want to thank my Beta _Bananas in Pyjamas_ for being amazing and not yelling at me for springing these on her at random times ^^ Love ya girlie!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own _Twilight_ sadly as that may be...  
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Did I mention that I hate needles? Urgh!

Sadly they were a pivotal part of my life now...

Ever since I started chemo I kind of got into a routine. We go there. I do what needs to be done. We come back. I go to my room and crash out like a coma patient.

In all honesty the side effects weren't too terrible...at the moment. They could have been a lot worse, but that doesn't mean they didn't take a lot out of me.

They give patients this drug called Heprin, which is supposed to fight off nausea, but I think it was wearing off because at the moment my stomach was clenching in on itself, wanting a release, but it was empty; my head was beginning to pound against my skull, and I was getting colder by the minute as my muscles started to throb.

I didn't fight it. I tried not to think about it too much.

Blackness was trying to pull me under and I welcomed it as I usually did every time it presented itself.

_**˳̊**_

I woke to the repeated beeping of my alarm clock. I reached over to beat the thing to death as I cursed it to the fiery pits of hell.

I _really_ didn't feel like going to school today – there was nothing I wanted more than to just go back to sleep and continue dreaming of a hot model with an English accent and gorgeous sex hair.

I smiled to myself wistfully, and knew that I _should_ go to school.

Not feeling like dressing up in my usual attire today I just threw on my Pac-Man zip-up over a black cami – it was about two sizes two big and soft and comfy as heck – and pulled on my bright blue skinny pants. Black high tops and a ponytail went without saying.

Nothing like the classics to make the day easier.

I was just grabbing my keys off the table by the door when Charlie caught me.

"Bella, you don't have to go to school today. How many times do I have to tell you that you need to take it easy on your body and rest?" His expression was annoyed and worried, but it seemed that the annoyance was gaining majority.

"I'll be fine dad. Really. I promise to come home as soon as the end bell rings. See you later," I replied with a wave.

"Bella I'm not kidd—"

"Dad, aren't you late for work?" I asked, interrupting him before he could start his 'You're sick and you should act that way, damn it' lecture.

"Fine," he grumbled. "But I expect you home and in bed as soon as school's out. I want you to take things easy today."

Smiling I walked out to my truck, and revved Lucia to life.

After all, how could I skip school when my science partner was waiting for me?

_**˳̊**_

"Does it _really_ require that much color?"

"The handout says that the more colorful, or artistic if you may, it is then the more points we get. So excuse me Mr. Cullen, for wanting to pass this class."

"I understand that you need all the help you can get in this class, _Isabella_, but 'colorful' does not mean turning our project into a mini rainbow."

"It's Bella," I fumed.

"_Isa_bella," Edward shot back.

"Bella."

"Isabella."

"It's _just_ Bella, dam –"

"Is there a problem here kids?" Mr. Moreno asked as he suddenly appeared by our table. The guy was a like a pop-up book from hell sometimes.

"No, sir," we both said at the same time.

"In that case please try to use your indoor voices. However, at the moment I suggest packing up. Class is over."

"Are you going to make the birth certificate tonight?" I asked trying to keep my voice friendly.

"I said I would."

"Just making sure. Didn't know if you were like me and forgot things easily."

"No Isabella, I do not forget easily..." His voice suddenly sounded sad, throwing me off. I didn't know how to reply to that. I didn't know how to comfort the man I _really_ liked yet hated, and who I was pretty damn sure hated me in return.

"See you tomorrow," I said as he finished packing up.

As usual he left the room in silence.

As I walked out the door I saw Mike standing to the side of it. Like he was waiting for someone. Like he was waiting for me... Yummy.

"Hey Bella."

"Hey Mike. I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were waiting..."

"Its fine," he said with a huge smile. "So you and Cullen got into it again today, huh?"

"I guess... It's nothing."

"If we were partners I wouldn't fight with you."

"Um, thanks... That's sweet," I said opening the door to the gym. "But like I said, it's nothing, you know just silly stuff."

"Hey, you know you can come to me, right? If Cullen ever says anything, I'll help."

"Thanks, Mike. I'm gonna get changed now, so I'll see you in a sec."

"Sure thing."

Walking into the girl's locker room I tried not to laugh at the image of Mike trying to intimidate Edward. Mike wasn't scrawny but I had a feeling Edward could go against the Hulk and win. He just had the certain...vibe about him, confidence, self assurance maybe.

Since my excuse for not participating during gym expired a few weeks ago I had to go out and play with everyone else. Coach's sport of choice for the moment: soccer. It was hideous.

To say that I was immensely happy when the final bell rang would be an understatement. I rushed through putting my clothes on, speed walked to my car – I didn't want to have another conversation with Mike, I didn't know if I could keep from laughing...

"I'm home!"

"Living room."

Walking into the living room I wasn't surprised to see Charlie sprawled on the chair watching the hunting channel. I think it was his new hobby.

"Have a nice day off?" I asked him as I took a seat on the arm of the chair.

"Eh – It was a day. What more could you ask for. I'll be glad to head into work tomorrow, though."

"Yeah, the whole bachelor pad thing doesn't really seem your style."

"You never know – I could be the next Snoop Dog," Charlie said stroking his chin appreciatively.

"Okay, no," I said laughing. "Now way...ever. That's just...no. Switching topic, on a less creepy note, any suggestions for dinner?"

"Actually, I already ordered some pizza. There's some on the table for ya."

"Thanks, dad. I'm gonna head upstairs and work on this project I have."

"You have fun with that."

After researching for a while on my "baby" I figured it was time for bed. Luckily for me the chemo seemed to be doing what it was supposed to. The stabbing in my abdomen now felt like dull knives whenever I laid down – something I was particularly appreciative of.

_**˳̊**_

I was excited today, and it was all because of my outfit.

It was randomly fun.

Leo found this store in Seattle that had all these funny shirts, so he bought me one. It's amazingly awesome. He knew St. Patrick's Day was coming up so he picked out this black form fitting tee – Leo lives by the belief that a girl with a figure should share it with the world. Anyway, on the front is a blow-up of an angry Leprechaun flipping the bird, but his middle finger is censored – all pixels – so I couldn't get in trouble at school – or so he says.

My favorite part is that above the hem by my butt it says "Get your own bloody gold" in gold script. Yes, this shirt is by far my favorite one Leo has ever given me.

At first Leo looked like he was afraid I wouldn't like it, but when I practically jumped him he burst out laughing.

I realize some may say "it's just a shirt – and a crude shirt at that." But I loved dressing up for holidays. It was the only time that I acted like Alice does when it comes to clothes. It's just fun. However, until recently I was having a slight freak out because I couldn't figure out what to wear. I mean I knew for sure that I was going to wear my crayon green skinny pants, and my black high tops. The thing was I didn't have that something... It was just missing that _something_ that would make it scream St. Patrick's Day.

Thanks to my wonderful brother I have it now.

For once this year I couldn't wait for school.

_**˳̊**_

_Mother frickin A. This school was tiring... _

I was beyondexcited about my outfit – I actually made an effort in doing my hair, putting it in two braids – but I didn't wear it so people would stare at me like I sprouted wings. Or horns.

I guess I forgot that to the people of Forks, and their _Stepford Wives_ normalcy I do dress abnormally. Therefore I'm free game to stare at...or maybe the right word is gawk at...

I didn't know.

The point is that it was starting to bug me. I wish they would just tell me what they were thinking and get it over with.

I know I sound obnoxiously defiant, but I made an oath with myself that I wouldn't let what others think about me affect my decisions. I was tired of living to please others. This last year I wanted to live for me...

It was around this part of my self-explanation that I started to feel like Mandy Moore from _A Walk to Remember_. Where's my Shane West damn it?

_Brooding right beside you every day in Chemistry... _my mental voce chimed in uninvited.

I know it's wrong but I want a guy to fall in love with me, and me with him, but still...

Lunch finally came, giving my over-worked brain a break.

Thank you Jesus.

Entering the cafeteria I reflexively looked over at the Cullen's table. Sure enough, four of the five were seated and staring off in random places, not eating their food as usual_. _

Catching a glimpse of Alice going through the line for lunch I went and joined her. We hadn't been able to actually talk all day and I was starting to feel Alice deprived.

"Alicat."

"Belly-Button, how are you on this cloud filled morning?"

"As good as the Grinch can be," I said winking.

"You going to sit with us today?"

"No, sorry. I told Angela I would sit with her today."

"That's fine, but aren't you hungry? Why didn't you get anything?" Alice asked sounding seriously concerned.

"I'm not feeling very good. I think it's just a bug or something."

"Oh, well I hope you feel better. And soon. Judging by the shirt you're wearing you need more feminine clothing."

I was left laughing at Alice's retreating figure as she went to join her siblings.

At the table I took the seat next to Angela, but we didn't really get any chance to talk since Jessica kept going on about the upcoming spring dance. I liked Angela, she was really nice and a great friend. Too perceptive sometimes for my liking, but it wasn't her fault I had secrets. She also knew when I didn't want to talk, and let me zone out.

After the first doctor told me I had cancer I decided to look it up on the internet, see what I was in store for. One of the things I read was that people with pancreatic cancer tend to lose their appetite from the pain that came with it. I didn't believe it at the time but I was starting to notice how much looser my pants were getting...

"Bella. Bella." Angela was saying my name while nudging my arm.

Turning to face her she told me that the bell rang. I murmured a thanks and left to go to my locker.

Since I literally dragged my feet to Biology I barely made it before the late bell rang. This wasn't exactly what I wanted to be doing right now. When I took my seat I saw Edward stiffen again. I sighed. If the guy really didn't like me that much he didn't have to worry long. I would most likely be gone _before_ my year was up.

_Snap out of it Bella! Getting depressed won't help anything. It never does. _

My inner self was right, but I couldn't shake it.

The sooner the school day ended the sooner the _day _ended. Then I go home and watch _The O.C._ online while I did my homework.

"Stop, you gotta stop this," I whispered to myself. Apparently mental Bella just wasn't cutting it anymore.

I saw Edward twitch when I said that. Maybe he heard me?

_Impossible_. It was _really_ quiet. I barely heard it and I_ said_ it.

I really have to stop being paranoid around him.

Mr. Moreno was still showing us examples of baby books that others had done in the past, before he actually let us start working again.

I suddenly sat up straighter as an idea began to quickly take form.

_Wait. Mr. Moreno isn't helping and Edward isn't helping, maybe all I need is a change of scenery..._

It was an epiphany.

It was simple, so I acted on it.

Gathering my books quickly I shoved them into my back pack and headed for the door. Feeling better already, might I add.

"Can I help you Miss Swan? Miss Swan? Isabella Swan just where do you think you're going?" Mr. Moreno was all but yelling now.

I knew it was impolite but I ignored him – I was desperate.

I walked out of the classroom and just kept on going. I stopped at the door to the building. It was pouring outside but for once it calmed me. It made me smile on this day when on others it usually dampened my mood.

Dropping my backpack by the door I sprinted out into the freezing rain – feeling the water quickly soaking my shoes and all the way to my socks.

I started giggling like crazy and spinning in wild circles, almost falling a bunch of times. I never was graceful but I didn't care. In fact I bust out dancing – jumping up and down, shaking my head, spinning in circles, even moving my hips with my hands in the air.

My body was protesting profusely, but this rain was refreshing. It was cleansing.

Standing still. Eyes closed. Face up towards infinity. Breathing deeply. I stayed like that for a long time. That was until he broke the silence.

"Bella? Are you okay?"

I knew that amazing velvet voice. Sure enough when I turned I saw Edward Cullen looking at me like I was having a mental break down.

Poor guy was getting drenched too.

"What are you doing here Cullen?" That was the only thing I wanted right then.

I wanted at least _one_ answer from him. It could've been about anything, but just once I wanted him to _answer_ a question instead of ask one.

"I...Mr. Moreno sent me to find you."

"Liar."

"What?" he asked shocked.

"You're lying to me Cullen. I can see it in your eyes." Still peaceful from the rain I accused with a smile. It only caused him to look at me funny.

"Bella, you're going to get sick. Come on let's go inside."

My smile turned sad. If only he knew.

"Come here," I demanded, holding out my hand.

"Why?"

"Just do it Cullen," I laughed.

Edward looked like he was having some kind of internal battle with himself. I don't know which side won but he came over to me – slowly – and took my hand.

"If you could do _anything_ right now, what would it be?" My voice was soft so I didn't know if he could hear me, but I didn't worry long before he answered.

"I would get you inside."

I was shaking my head before he finished.

"Nope. Choose something different. Something for you alone."

"I don't know..." There was that internal battle again. "I guess I would..." Again an unknown side won. "I guess I would dance with you."

I looked at him questioningly.

"I saw you dancing earlier. Sorry," he explained.

I let out the breath I was holding. It came out cold and turned into frost before it fanned against his face. Right now everything was cold but I was alive with the cold.

"Well you know what they say about dancing," I replied smiling.

"What's that?" He was smiling now too.

"It's all in the leading."

With that said I grabbed his waist with my free hand, he was still holding my other hand, and started waltzing. I know that wouldn't have worked usually, but I had surprise on my side.

I've never lead before, and being the natural klutz I am, I stepped on his feet in the first few seconds. We both started laughing at that. He had a beautiful laugh – it sounded rich and bell-like – he should do it more often.

I was still distracted by him, so when he grabbed my waist and changed our direction, I obliged unthinking.

Cheeky. Now _he _was leading. Well, there was nothing I could do but move my hand to his shoulder. His fantastic, manly, broad...

_Snap out of it Bella_!

Right. This was _Edward Cullen_. He had more mood swings than a drama queen.

I focused on the now, because tomorrow he would probably go back to being angry at everything. It stung to know that. The obsession I had with this man was definitely unhealthy, but there was something about him that just pulled me towards him.

I looked up to see him smiling down at me. No trace of anger or hate in his beautiful honey eyes.

I smiled back automatically. He was just so amazing. And a great dancer to boot – there were no more toes stepped on since he started leading.

The intensity of his gaze caused me to look down at our feet.

"So Cullen, if there's anything in world you could do right now what would it be?" I asked, bringing my eyes back to his face.

"I'm already doing it," he answered, still smiling. "You're right – it is all in the leading."

We were both laughing again.

"Shut up. Don't I at least get an A for trying?"

"Hmm, no, more like a B," he replied, looking like he was thinking so hard that he was contemplating about the vastness of the universe.

"What? That was a valiant effort on my part," I said jokingly.

"Really? Are you sure you want to admit that?" He was making a pained face now.

"Well aren't we just a smartass." He opened his mouth to say something but I cut him off. "And if anything along the lines of 'rather a smartass than a dumbass' comes out of your mouth I will hurt you. Badly."

His mouth snapped shut. Still with a smile though.

We continued to dance in silence. It was a nice comfortable silence. I sighed, leaning my head against his chest – he was _tall_. I worried that he wouldn't like it, but after a few seconds he rested his chin on top of my head, making all my worries vanish.

Edward slowed us from a waltz to where we were just swaying in a circle now.

I've never been happier than I was in that moment. I wished that time would stop and we could stay like that forever. Just me and the Greek god dancing in the rain.

"So Bella, if you could do anything right now what would it be?" I felt his voice reverberate through his chest when he spoke. It was heavenly.

"You mean it isn't obvious?"

"What?" He was confused.

I met his eyes again. "There's nothing I'd rather be doing right now, Edward." I felt a thrill go through me as I said his name, and I hated that I loved it.

His expression turned pained and he stopped dancing.

"What's wrong?" I asked, reaching to touch his cheek. I was surprised when he let me. It was wonderful – I was finally doing what I'd wanted to since that first day we talked. His skin was hard and smooth, like marble.

"Bella why did you come out here?"

I was confused. Is that why he looked pained? Because he wanted to know why I came outside to have fun acting like an idiot?

"Why do you think I came out here?" If he was allowed to avoid my questions then I was allowed to avoid his...right?

"I don't know. I would say to relax, but I know that isn't right – it just doesn't fit somehow..."

"How much do you care?" I demanded.

The clenching in my gut finally reached its breaking point, and I knew what I had to do now. I wanted to tell someone... No, I _needed_ to tell someone. There was a part of me that needed someone outside of my small family to know what I had to struggle through every day, what was wrong with me.

It was only then, when I realized that I couldn't keep this to myself any longer did the truth of the matter hit me.

I didn't need to tell someone. I needed to Edward.

It was insane and stupid in every conceivable way but every time I was near him I felt like I couldn't be touched – as if no one could hurt me. Not even his own angry glares and irritated silence could harm me in the moment that I was so close to him that I could brush his hand with my fingertips if I so wanted.

"What are you talking about?"

A small laugh escaped before I could stop it. It sounded bitter even to my ears.

"How much do you care about why I came out here? Why do _you_ care why I ran out of that stupid room?"

If his confused face was cute the expression he got when he was baffled was adorable.

"I...I guess... Maybe I just care. Did you ever think that?" He was starting to get angry – for what I will never know. I didn't allow myself to think about it long.

I let go of him and stepped back a little.

"If I tell you...you have to promise me something."

"What?" his voice was wary now.

"You can't treat me differently. I don't want you to give me special treatment because you know. Once I tell you...act like I didn't."

Edward thought it over. You could tell that he was _seriously_ thinking through every word I'd just said. I guess curiosity won over, and he answered me.

"I promise."

"I came out here to...I just needed...I needed to breathe and I just ended up here. See..." How did a person word something like this? The words were fighting to come out but the part of my brain that formed coherent sentences was trying to keep them from escaping.

Edward opened his mouth looking like he was going to demand some logic, but I held up my hand, silently telling him to give me a moment. Once I found the words, I took a deep breath.

"I have to go to Seattle once a week to get chemotherapy – there's a special clinic there. I don't _want_ to go, but my dad thinks it helps. However, Iknow that there's nothing you can do about what I have. There's no cure for stage three pancreatic cancer," I blurted out. "The doctors say that it'll be a miracle if I make it through the year. I know their right. The pain gets worse all the time, and I'm starting to get tired more than I used to and I'm still blacking out at times... I just came out here to _breathe_."

Edward's face was paler than it usually was, and he was just standing there – like he was frozen from shock. I wouldn't have been surprised if he was. Neither of us moved for a good ten minutes, and finally I couldn't take it anymore.

"Edward, please say _something_. Anything," I begged.

His mouth opened and closed a few times, reminding me of a fish. He finally snapped out of it to my utter relief.

"Bella, I –"

_Damn it!_

The bell to end class rang effectively cutting him off. Call me superstitious but I took that as a sign from whoever was up there.

I finally told someone what I'd been keeping in for so long and this is the reaction I get. I mean I wasn't expecting a 'Hey it's okay, let's just pretend it never happened' kind of thing, but I was hoping for at least something.

I looked at my shoes again as something other than rain began to make my vision blur.

"Remember, you promised." Looking into his eyes one last time I saw a distant panic mixed with what seemed to be pure torment.

More of the unexpected.

I ran to the building to get my bag, and then sprinted to my truck – almost falling twice in the process. There was no way in hell I was going to gym right now. Because if I could do anything in the world it would be to go home and sleep, and pray that what I did wasn't going to come back and bite me in the ass.

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**A/N: Thoughts? =] Thank you guys for all the reviews - the good the bad the confused. I actually don't mind flame, in fact I read them and then take what they say into consideration and try to better my writing - thanks. Though the good reviews are an amazing confidence boost to fuel the urge to write ;) I am jumping up and down like Alice, hoping for 25 reviews - just follow my trusty arrow.  
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**Okay, aside from the usual request of reviews I have another thing to ask from you guys... I NEED PICK UP LINES! I'm writing some of the upcoming chapters and they are pivotal to a..._game _some characters will play ^^ So my question, got any good ones you want to share?**

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	17. Chapter 15

**A/N: Sorry this took forever, real life got pretty complicated fast and it's too personal to share really... Anyway, thanks for staying with me and I hope you enjoy this ^_^ I can't promise when the next update will be, I have a lot more responsibilities now than I did when I started this, but I can promise you that it will be finished - and hopefully it won't take a year to do it **

**I want to thank _Ginginleelee _for beta'ing this and _NondiRochelle _for pre-reading! You girls made it fantastic :D**

**Disclaimer: As usual I own nothing Twilight related  
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My moment of peace didn't last as long as I hoped it would after my epiphany during Chemistry. By the time I got home, not only was I back to my state of blah and freezing various body parts off, I was also worrying about what I'd just done.

I didn't regret telling Edward the truth. I knew that because I felt like an immense weight was taken off my shoulders. However, I was worried that he may tell his family. I mean I _knew_ they never really talked to anyone outside their close-knit "Cullen clan," so I wasn't worried that they would tell the gossip loving people of Forks. But the ego-harpy side of me was thinking that they would treat me nicely if they knew. The logical part of me, however, knew that even if they did know they would still act the same. Still treat me the same.

Inside I was fiercely split down the middle – part of me hoping for everything to go on as it had been, and the other hoping that I would have at least one person I didn't have to pretend for.

After trudging up to my room, I peeled off my soaked clothes and threw on my pajamas – shower be damned.

_**˳̊**_

Heading into school the next day was a bitch, and I was a walking ball of nerves because of it. I'd barely gotten a wink of sleep last night due to the fact that every time I closed my eyes, all I could see were a pair of dark gold ones, their intensity marred by the wet strands of hair that fell over a pale forehead.

It was like he tattooed his image to the back of my eyelids.

I hated that I closed my eyes more and blinked longer than necessary just to see them when the real ones were unavailable to me.

Hopping out of my beast of a truck, I kept my head down, my hair acting as a curtain around my face, and trekked my way to my locker. Hopefully nobody with the last name Cullen, or the first name Edward for that matter, would notice me. I knew eventually I would have to face the reality of the situation that I put myself in, but I also knew that I couldn't have that talk with Edward right now. Too many things were still too raw to talk about, and a lot of things still hadn't been figured out. Emotions and questioning thoughts that hadn't been answered...

Spinning the lock that was on my door, I slowly entered the combination.

_In case you don't watch horror films, let me just say instead of trying to break the door handle off in frantic terror, calm down and twist the damn thing! You escape faster. _

And that's exactly what I was doing now. Escaping the open hallway, and running to a more enclosed space called a classroom. I wasn't afraid of being confronted by the man who I no doubt burdened with my... troubles, I suppose you could say. We only had Biology together.

No way of seeing him before then.

I would be stealth like.

I would be a ninja. Okay, nix the ninja – that just made me think of Tom Cruise... Ew.

The school day began to pass by in hippy-dippy swirls of colors, too much cheap perfume, and conversations about nothing with random people whose names I didn't remember.

There were intervals when I could remember things with too much clarity. It was as if all my senses were heightened and I could feel an almost nonexistent draft as it crossed my skin, feel the grooves and grains of the wood of the pencil I picked up off the floor, and I could hear the rain makes its own tap-dance on the roof of the small school.

It was those times when I felt as if I were fading. A human's senses should never be that powerful... Not unless their body was giving all it could to hold on. To stay above the proverbial waves of death that wanted to slowly drag you down in its torrents.

It wasn't until I felt something cold on my arm that I forced myself out of my robotic stupor.

"Bella? Bella?"

"Oh, hey, Alice. Sorry...didn't see you there," I said quietly as I turned to face the little pixie standing to my left.

"It's fine. I was just wondering if you were okay. You seemed kind of out of it..."

Looking down, I was met with the sight of big round eyes that held nothing but concern, a little crease between two perfectly sculpted eyebrows, and tiny lips that were frowning slightly at the corners.

The face of a concerned friend.

To some extent I felt as if I owed Alice the truth, the knowledge that I shared with her brother, but I was done telling people. I didn't want anyone else to know.

Especially if it wasn't Edward.

"I'm fine, Alice. Really."

"If you're sure," she said, her voice uneasy.

"Hey, is...um, Edward here...today?"

"No, he wasn't feeling well so he decided to stay home. Why do you ask?"

"No reason. Just wondering."

Alice's expression shifted from one of concern to suspicion.

"Do you want to eat lunch with us today?" As Alice was talking, I watched her lean forward slightly and sniff the tiniest bit. Almost instantly, she jumped back a little, her tiny nose wrinkling as if she smelled something repulsive.

"Are _you_ okay, Alicat? You look kinda...weird," I stated warily.

_What the hell was that all about?_ I thought to myself as Alice continued to stare at me.

"It's nothing. So lunch. You coming or not?"

"No thanks, I'm not all that hungry."

There was no way that was nothing. That was the most something I had ever seen in my life.

"Um, anyway, thanks for asking but I'm just gonna... head to the library. Yeah, I'll do that. See ya," I yelled over my shoulder as I began to make my way towards the exit, not even waiting for a reply.

_Great. Edward was out sick. I traumatized the guy to the point of _sickness_. Fan-fucking-tastic... _I thought bitterly as headed towards my truck. Screw school. I needed a nap.

I knew that I shouldn't be ditching school as much as I had been – I'd probably get the truancy officer called on my ass – but my body had been in turmoil all day, stressing about the reaction that apparently wouldn't come, and it didn't take much to drain me of energy these days...

Getting home, I dropped my bag at the front door and ran as fast as I could to the bathroom while clutching my midsection. I was really starting to wish for the sake of my health – and the wood floors – that the house had another bathroom downstairs.

Two steps from the top I could feel my stomach convulsing in jerky forceful movements. Not five seconds later there was hot liquid spilling from my mouth and over my fingers, running over to coat my chin.

Once in the bathroom, I dropped to my knees, sending a sharp pain up my legs, and collapsed over the toilet. The stomach acid burned slightly as it was forced out of me. A few minutes later my insides had calmed, but the bathroom smelled sour and down-right gross. My joints popped as I slowly stood and walked over to the sink – refusing to look in the mirror. I knew that I wouldn't like what I saw.

After washing my left hand five times for good measure, I scrubbed my face to get rid of the sweat that had already begun to dry.

_Come on. You can do this. Just breathe deeply. One day at a time. Deep breaths. _

Taking a deep breath, I made my way to my bedroom and changed into my clean zombie pajama pants and a black tank top. Finally allowing myself to look in a mirror, I padded the short distance to my dresser and grabbed one of the many hair ties that were thrown all over it. They were simple and black, and randomly snapped when I barely stretched them, but they didn't tangle and they didn't have that annoying piece of metal to keep it together.

Gathering all my hair in left hand, I used my fingers to pull the unassuming hair tie off my right wrist and threaded my hair through it three times – making it tight. Closing my eyes, I started dragging my fingers through the soft ponytail as I headed towards my bed. I raised my hand to play with my hair some more but stopped mid way. All of me stopped.

Clenching my eyes shut tighter, I silently begged that this wasn't happening. I could already feel moisture gathering in the corners of my eyes, just waiting to spill over and show the world how weak I really was.

Slowly, I forced myself to open my lids and look down at my hands.

My hands that were clutching long strands of brown hair.

It wasn't just one or two... I could take one or two – that was normal. But this...this was...

A strangled sob ripped itself through me and my chest started heaving painfully.

There was too much.

This was too much.

I didn't want to do this anymore.

_**˳̊**_

You would think that after having an emotional breakdown you could try and recover by staying holed up in a small space and bury yourself under a heavy comforter, but sadly that didn't happen. I had every intention of doing exactly that; forgetting what I saw last night and just losing myself to a world made by my subconscious. If anything just os I could process everything...accept as much as I could.

However, my self-preservation was cut short when Charlie chose this morning to come in and check on me, only to find me on the floor – still clutching those damn chunks of hair. The man had a mini heart attack so I thought going to school would calm him down a little.

Was I there physically? Yes.

Was I there mentally? Hell no.

I couldn't think about anything – my brain taking in nothing it was hearing or seeing all morning.

When I finally pulled into the tiny parking lot the school had to offer, there was no one out. Not surprising since class technically started 30 minutes ago. Pulling into the nearest empty space, I cut the engine and immediately wished I could turn it back on for the noise. I was suffocating in the "beautiful silence of wilderness." Out of nowhere, the driver's side door was yanked open, causing flakes of dust to ignite the air, and I was being pulled out of my seat forcefully yet carefully.

The door closed, giving everything a more ominous feeling.

"We need to talk."

Even with my ability to think on hiatus, I knew that voice. That voice was anger and velvet, snide comments and gentle manners. I knew that voice more than I knew about the person it belonged to.

"About the charges for assault? Yes, I'd say we do."

Rolling his black eyes, Edward fixed his hard glare on me.

"No, _Isabella_. We need to talk about what you said yesterday."

"You're going to need be a little more specific than that. I tend to talk a lot throughout the course of a day."

"You know what I'm talking about."

Neither of us said anything after that. We both just stared at the other – refusing to give in and break the silence.

"Well, as fascinating as this is, I think I'm going to head to class. You know, actually do something with my time," I said, pushing myself off the side of my truck and walking towards the English building.

"You mean what time you have actually have left?" Edward called from behind me. My muscles instantly locked, keeping me from smashing his face in.

"I take it you remember what I'm referring to then," he said once he was standing in front of me again.

"What do you want?" I hissed.

"I just want to talk."

"Then say something instead of giving me demands!" I exclaimed, frustrated.

I watched as his expression softened, and I didn't like it. It rubbed me the wrong way. It irritated me.

"What you said, well, was it true? Are you really...sick?"

"What kind of fucker would lie about that?" I asked, my voice cold.

"You're right...I just...I'm sorry," Edward rushed out in the same breath.

"For what? What exactly are you sorry for?"

"I'm sorry that you have to go through this...but mostly I'm sorry about the way I've been treating you."

And there it was. His guilt. Turing on my heel, I hastily made my way back to my truck. I felt as if I was hanging on by my fingertips, and I didn't know what to expect when I finally fell.

"Bella, come on! Where are you going? Please just listen to me," he pleaded.

I knew that I should stop running away from this, and face him. Hear what he had to say.

I owed him that much at the very least.

"Just leave me alone, Cullen." I was almost screaming at his point.

"No," he said stubbornly as he ran to catch up to me.

"Fine then," I conceded, abruptly spinning to face him. "But answer me this: why?"

"Why what?" He was beginning to look confused.

"Why now? From the first moment you saw me you _hated_ me! So why now? Because you found out I'm dying? Trying to clear your conscious of something – don't want to feel guilty when I finally keel over?"

I couldn't do this. The all too familiar stinging behind my eyes was making itself known and the tears demanded to be set free. No, I was done crying. I _wouldn't_ cry in front of him. I refused to let him know just how much power he had over me.

"No! That isn't it." There were so many emotions racing across his face that I couldn't keep up. I thought he looked sad at one point, but I didn't have it in me to care...

"Then tell me! Please explain to me why now you decide to actually acknowledge my presence."

Edward looked as if he was trying to figure out what to say – like he didn't even know himself _what_ he wanted to say. His mouth opened a few times, but nothing came out. A voice in the back of my head was fighting to find a reason that didn't involve him being one of those people that were only nice to others that are dying so they won't be alone, but the logical part of my mind was yelling at the other voice to shut up.

I didn't want his friendship if was born out of pity. I _refused_ to be pitied.

"Cat got your tongue, Cullen?" I asked sardonically.

His gaze finally met mine again, and this time when he opened his mouth it seemed like he was actually going to say something, but I didn't give him the chance. I didn't want to hear the pretty, corny _Lifetime_ movie words that I knew he would most likely say.

"Just fuck off!"

Jumping in my truck I turned it on forcefully and drove away.

Running to the only constant in my life. I was tired of feeling ungrounded – like no matter where I went I was never where I was supposed to be.

The drive to Seattle took longer than it should have but eventually I made it to the crappy apartment complex and was banging on his door.

"What the – "

At the sight of Leonard, I lost it and launched myself at him. My arms clinging to his neck as everything that I was feeling burst out of me in choked sobs.

"Lizzy? Lizzy," he said exhaling loudly. I felt his arms circle my waist, pulling my body closer to his. His bare shoulder now covered in salty tears and snot.

"You can't keep doing this, Lizzy," he said softly, as he ran his hand over my hair,

The reminder of the night before only causing me to sob harder. The pain in my abdomen started to flare again, and it reminded me of how all this started.

Just a stupid side pain.

"Bottling all this up isn't healthy. You're only hurting yourself," he said sounding tortured.

_**˳̊**_

"Thank you," I murmured to the waiter as he set my chicken dumpling soup down in front of me.

"No problem, ma'am. Just let me know if you two need anything."

"I like you in brown – it brings out your eyes," Jacob said as soon as the waiter was out of earshot.

It was a few hours after my breakdown at Leo's when I got a text from Jacob asking if I wanted to head to Port Angeles for dinner with him. My idiot brother immediately stole my phone and texted Jacob saying that that sounded like a great idea – conveniently forgetting to mention it was him saying it. Not me. I couldn't get too mad at him though, he was only trying to help me feel better...

Admittedly I was a little less angry when he offered to drive me. In my truck there was no telling how long the trip from Leo's apartment in Seattle to the Italian restaurant, _Fairmount_, in Port Angeles would have taken.

"Thanks," I said with forced enthusiasm. I actually hated wearing the color, it grossly reminded me of poo. "Alice picked it out for me."

"Alice?"

"Yeah. Alice Cullen. She's really compact, you know like a _Polly Pocket_? Plus she's really energetic, happy, and a shopping nazi."

Jacob visibly tensed before me, his hands forming fists on top of the table.

"So...are you friends with all the Cullen's then?"

"Um, not really... I get along with Alice and Emmett great, but not so much with Rosalie, Jasper, and Edward. Why do you ask?"

"Nothing. It's nothing..."

"You kinda suck at lying, Jake," I said laughing a little.

"Okay, well...what if I asked you to kind of...stay away from them?"

"Why?" I asked, suddenly becoming confused by the turn of our conversation.

"Like I said it's nothing... Just –"

"Quit bullshitting me. If you didn't really want to talk about it then you wouldn't have brought it up. Now spill." I admit that I was acting a little bossy but Jacob was starting to irritate me a little by spiking my curiosity then just shoving evasiveness in my face. I bet he's secretly an attention whore...

"I would Bella, trust me, I would. But I'm not really _allowed_ to tell you...so please, just trust me and drop it."

If he was expecting me to "just drop it," he was sadly mistaken.

Instead I just sat there staring at him as he shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"Damn it, fine," he snapped, sounding as irritated as I felt. "But don't tell anyone I told you. Okay?"

"I promise."

"The Quileute people have a lot of legends. A majority of them have a tie to the origin of our people, but none of them are as widely believed as the legend of the Cold Ones." Jacob may have been irritated at first but his expression was quickly morphing into that of storyteller with his first audience – a mixture of thrill and secrecy.

Over the next half hour Jacob went on to spin a horror filled fairy tale, for lack of a better term. According to ancient legends of his tribe, there was a battle many years ago – around the time that his great-grandfather was living.

It all began when a vicious vampire came upon the tribe and began to brutally slaughter the people – snapping their necks with its bare hands and draining the victims of their blood.

The tribal leader at the time, Ephraim Black, Jacob's great-grandfather, made a desperate and cursed choice in the chaos. While the people of his tribe, the people that he was born to protect, were being savagely robbed of their lives, he fled. Ephraim ran as fast his body would let him only stopping when he reached the Quineayla River. It was there he fell to his knees, but not from weakness of physicality. Rather it was the power coming from the river that knocked him to the ground.

Ephraim, with his head in the mud, begged for four days and three nights. Never sleeping. Never eating.

Finally the gods listened to his pleas to help save the people of his tribe – but it was not in the way that he had planned or even thought.

The gods rarely answered the cries of the mortals for they were selfish and corrupted beings, but when they did, it was not without their own amusement in mind. Instead of easily wiping out the monster, as they could have done, they turned Ephraim into a monster of their own creation. They made him neither man nor beast.

The mind of a human trapped in the body of a wolf when emotions were out of balance and uncontrollable.

Quickly getting over the shock of what had happened to him, Ephraim bowed to the gods one last time and raced back to his village. Less than two miles away from the edge of the tribe's home he could hear the screams and smell the blood of the people dying. But he could also smell a sweetness so strong and tart it burned his nose and watered his eyes. It was unnatural and he instantly knew it belonged to that of the monsters.

Looking around he realized that though he had begged for days surrounded by the spirits the Quileutes worshipped, no more than maybe an hour had passed in the world of man. Surrounded by the smell of the cold one and drinking in the sight of the ground stained crimson, the last of his humanity fled. The instincts of the wolf took over his being.

The huge black wolf that he had become lunged at the monster. His sharpened canines, curved to a point, pierced the hard flesh and tore it open as they fell to the dirt. The few screams that survived fell silent as the two monsters fought.

Snapping filled the quiet as the wolf attacked relentlessly, and growls erupted from the vampire as she tried to kill the animal that was interrupting her feast.

Eventually Ephraim Black defeated the cold one. Seeing that the vampire was no longer moving, the wolf lowered his head to humanity and the tribe leader resumed the shape of a man once again.

After that the monster was burned, the ashes put into a bag strung around the neck of the fiercest warrior, and both were taken to the bottom of the sea, where they remain to this day.

The cold one forever guarded by the Quileute warrior, even in the afterlife.

Time passed for the tribe. Bodies were buried. More wolves were born without the knowledge of man. But then came a day when the wolf made itself known to the vessel in which it lived. The cold ones returned but their number was greater.

The new monsters froze when suddenly four wolves of different sizes and colors appeared, baring their teeth and growling in warning. The cold ones explained themselves that day. They took the name of Cullen and fed from the blood of the wild creatures that roamed the dense forest. Ephraim Black listened to the words of the monsters and saw the unstable anger in the eyes of the gods cursed. And, in his old age, Ephraim stepped forward and made a pact with the enemy of his people.

They would not bite a single human in the vicinity of where they resided in this land and the Quileute would not hunt them. Along with the agreement, they divided the land so neither race would be tempted to harm the other. It went without saying that if either were to cross into the other's territory, they were free to hunt the enemy.

"The same treaty is still upheld by those who made it," Jacob finished.

"Wait, so you're saying that not only was your great-grandpa a werewolf, but that the Cullen's are vampires and have been around for a few decades?"

"That's just the legend, Bella."

"So why are you telling me this in the first place?"

"Because, even though they're legends many people on the reservation still believe them. I just wanted to warn you to stay away from the Cullen's, because I don't want to see you hurt. They're not safe."

"So you're saying that I can't take care of myself? That I can't even judge someone properly?"

"No! That's not what I'm saying at all, it's just – "

"Just what? It's either one or the other. Make up your mind, Jacob."

I knew I was being hard on Jacob, and if I was being honest with myself, I was twisting his words a tad, but just the way he spoke of the Cullen's made me want to defend them. I'd only known them a few weeks but I'd grown close to Alice and Emmett in that small amount of time. It was like we were closer than just friends, and there was no way in hell I was going to let someone bad mouth them. Not even Jacob Black.

"Ugh, why are you acting like this?"

"Because you're speaking as if you know them! All you know is the stories of old men. I refuse to let you talk badly about people I care about."

"Even if they're blood sucking monsters?" he asked scornfully.

"Vampires don't exist, Jacob."

"I bet you don't know them any better than I do, Bella."

"Okay, that's it, I'm going home. If you even think about speaking to me again, I'll reach between your scrawny legs and rip off anything that dangles, no matter how small."

"How are you planning on _getting _home? We're in Seattle!" he yelled as I pushed the door to the restaurant open.

"Cab."

I'd only walked a little ways down the street before I ripped off the gross brown shirt and pulled Leo's cut up hoodie from my messenger bag throwing it on over my white cami. This was not how I saw the night going... That jerk had to go and bad mouth my friends because of some stupid prejudice. And he expected me to just sit there! Stupid asshat.

After trudging through the annoying maze of streets in Seattle for half an hour, I was ready to give up. My anger had died down, and now I was just filled with a nagging feeling that was harassing my conscience. I felt like I might have overreacted towards Jacob, but then I remembered what he said about the Cullen's...

Looking around, I saw the mall right across the street and decided to head there for some food before I keeled over from starvation. After all, it wouldn't matter if I knew how to get home if I was dead. That's how 20 minutes and two slices of extra pepperoni pizza later, I was roaming the mall, looking for inspiration.

I was exploring the wonders of _TJ_ _Maxx_ when I heard a more than familiar deep laugh. It sounded like battleship canons and instantly calmed me. Following the sound of voices arguing and distinct slapping noises, I was face to back with Emmett, Alice, and Jasper.

From the looks of it they were in the middle of a...heated argument.

I took the few steps that placed me right behind Emmett as quietly as I could and gently poked his shoulder once.

"Sir, can you get me some water? Because you are _too _hot."

Within a second three pairs of eyes were on me – all of them wide with shock.

Emmett's expression was quickly replaced with a devious smirk as he flung one of his giant arms around my shoulders.

"Baby, did you fart? Cause you blow me away."

I couldn't stop the giggles that erupted from me. My mood was vastly different from what it was earlier and for that I was thankful...and a little worried, this could not be good for my mental health.

"That is the worst pick up line I have ever heard," I managed to get out as I tried to catch my breath.

"Oh yeah? What has 132 teeth and holds back the amazing Hulk?"

"What?"

"My zipper," Emmett said waggling his eyebrows like a villain from a black and white movie.

"God, Emmett you're so gross," Alice scolded.

"Hey, Bella's not complaining."

"Calm down you two," I chided the two. "It's nice to see you, Jasper. So what are you guys doing here?"

"Treasure hunting," Emmett said simply.

"Ignore him, Bella," Alice said sighing. Reaching forward she grabbed my hand and began to tow me out of the store.

"Alice?"

"We were just heading home. Do you want a ride?"

"Um...sure, that'd be great actually..."

The walk to the parking lot was quiet with the exception of Emmett and Jasper whispering as they walked behind us. My mind went back to what Jacob had told me and I was surprised when I noticed how cold Alice's hand actually was. And how hard – almost like granite.

"Come on, Belly Button, you can sit in the back with me," Emmett said, grabbing my hand from Alice's and lifting me into the back seat of the world's biggest jeep. Okay not the biggest, but it was a beast...

No one said a word the entire way back to Forks, and it wasn't a comfortable silence.

When Jasper finally pulled the jeep to a stop in front of Charlie's house, I practically jumped out of my seat in my haste.

"Thanks for the ride," I said slamming the door shut.

_That wasn't weird in the least..._

_**˳̊**_

_They're vampires. They're not vampires. They're vampires. They're _not_ vampires._

I honestly tried to keep my mind from wandering to the whole can of worms that Jacob opened with that myth of his; however, sitting through a lecture of why Hamlet basically called Ophelia a whore isn't really something that can keep anyone's attention. So in true me fashion, without even realizing it my notes were covered in doodles of flowers. Some on them had petals of elegant curves and smooth dips, some were broken and looked as if a fire burned the life from them not moments before.

All of them made a tangle web around words that I'd already heard from my old English teacher back in Phoenix.

But like I said earlier, this was me. Instead of just leaving my flowers they way they were, like anyone else would do, I sat there crossing off a petal for every silent declaration. Out of every flower, so far five of them has petals with little x's on them – three "are vampires" and two "not vampires."

I didn't know which outcome frightened me more.

If the Cullens were somehow vampires, walking myths, I should be running for the hills, or at the very least FoxNews. However, if the Cullens weren't vampires, just normal humans with a common surname, what does that say about me for even considering the other option?

_They're not vampires, _I thought as I crossed off the last petal on another flower.

The bell rang for lunch, effectively ending my pointless musing and fake flower killing.

_Is there a name for that? Flower killing? Serial flower murderer? Serial de-flowerer, maybe? Did that make me a de-flowerer? Why does that sound like it should be the name of a cheap porn?_

My appetite was non-existent, so when I finally got to the cafeteria, I just headed straight for the empty seat in one of the corner tables. I didn't think that I could actually _sit _next to Cullens at the moment. Not when 87.5% of my thoughts have been solely about them ever since that night in Seattle.

Pulling the wobbly chair out I took my time and sat down gingerly. To people who may have been watching it probably looked weird, but in my honest opinion I didn't care and they could promptly shove it. Once I was settled I pulled my old copy of _Dracula_ out of my messenger and opened it to where the bookmark was. I had the urge to read it last week, before all of this...whatever this was, started and the irony was not lost on me.

Nope. Not me.

Not in the slightest.

_I wonder if I chucked it at Edward's head would it actually hit it...never was good at aiming..._

I was in the middle contemplating skipping my least favorite part when I saw a pair of really long, dark jean clad legs in front of me. Legs that were being tapped incessantly by a nervous pale white hand – with long pianist fingers.

_Insert mind into gutter here... _

"What do you want?" I asked, not looking up from my book.

"I don't want anything. I just thought I'd come say 'hi,'" a ridiculously attractive voice said, while the long fingers pulled out the chair he was standing behind. "Maybe even see how you're doing, but I'm still unsure about the last part. I mean I wouldn't want to cross the line and actually be friends with you. No, that would just be weird."

Forgetting my irritation I looked up at him incredulously. Was this guy serious? He only stared back at me like an expectant eight year old. ...It was kind of cute if I was being painfully honest.

_Oh hell, who am I kidding? Everything he does is cute. He could put on a chicken suit and still make girls, and let's face it most guys, swoon. Sexy bastard. _

"Well now that you said 'hi' are you going to leave? I mean you _could_ ask how I was but that _is_ crossing the whole sworn enemies line. Seriously, if you do people will probably think that we actually tolerate each other," adding the last part in a frightened tone.

This whole conversation was crazy...oddly enough, it was exactly what I needed.

"Well we can't have that, now can we?" he continued with mock seriousness. Edward was overdoing it slightly but instead of looking like an idiot it was funny.

_Shit I need to be careful – I think I like this too much._

"Absolutely not. Unless the whole apocalypse thing is going on – then that would just be a waste of a perfectly good cliché."

"Yes, Hollywood would scorn us for our individuality."

"An angry mob would come after us with Botox needles," I replied, a small laugh escaping at the end.

Finally his serious mask cracked and he started laughing. I think it was at me rather than my pathetic excuse for a joke, but it was nice to hear all the same.

"That would be a sight to see."

"Yeah, but you know I would trip after like, five seconds," I said.

"Yet another thing to see."

He was just teasing but I still had to resist the urge to give into my inner kindergartener and stick my tongue out at him. My friends that knew me just laughed because it was just something that I did, though strangers tended to mock when I did that... One of the transfer students in my class in Phoenix, Young Min, actually started to call me "ST" – it stood for "strange tongue."

"So what now?" I asked after a long silence.

"What do you mean?"

"What do you want to talk about now?" I asked quietly.

"Hmm, we could play twenty questions."

"How about we play random questions? Twenty questions is a little too personal for our first conspiracy meeting."

"So this is a conspiracy meeting?" he asked while raising one eyebrow.

_Dang it, I wish I could do that..._

"Is that your question?"

"I don't think I understand this game of yours."

"It's like twenty questions but instead of answering the question you just come up with another one. I made it up when I was eleven to distract Leonard..." My rambling slowly died off as I thought about the shitty childhood my brother had in every way. It wasn't as bad as some kids you hear about, but it wasn't ideal either.

Shaking my head in hopes of clearing it, I turned my attention to the guy sitting in front of me. I hated that it was so easy to like him.

"I understand now. Ladies first?"

"I do believe I will give man a chance first," I said smirking.

Edward looked around the cafeteria for a short moment, as if he could find a question written on the walls. His hands were folded under his chin and he had a slight crease between his eyebrows. When I first met him all I thought was that he was nice to look at but now...now I wanted to know him...it would be too easy to want to stay close to Edward and never leave, and I hardly knew a damn thing about him...

_Oh Lord, help me..._

"Why doesn't McDonald's sell hotdogs?" he asked, breaking me out of my reverie.

"Wow. That's a good one...okay umm, how far east can you head before you're heading west?"

"If ghosts can walk through walls why don't they fall through the floor?" he asked, waggling his eyebrows for affect.

"Every time someone mentions ghosts the first thing that pops in my head is Loony Toons," I replied laughing, earning a smile from him in return. "Sorry, back on topic here. Okay, do Jewish vampires avoid crosses or Stars of David?"

I thought it wouldn't be considered too random since he just asked a ghost question and my book that I was clutching in my hands, but really I just wanted to see his reaction to the subject of vampires.

It was nothing big, and had I not been watching him like a grade A stalker, I would have missed it. Edward flinched minutely before tensing, and just sat there starring at me with eyes that told nothing. He didn't look the type to be afraid of fictional monsters, so maybe there _was_ something else.

Filing that reaction away for something to think about later, I tried to recover from the now tense atmosphere.

"You okay there? Listen if you're afraid of vampires I'm sorry I brought it up... Or are you just trying to stall so you can come up with a different question? Because let's face it, mine was pretty boss," I gloated, adding a smirk.

Honestly I thought that my acting skills weren't that great in that moment but he must have bought it because he seemed to relax and even chuckled a little.

"Well, aren't you perceptive."

"Well in that case I'll go again. What if you weren't running out of questions?"

Edward seemed fine on the surface but his eyes still held the tightness from the previous tension. Being the idiot that I am I let myself stare at his eyes too long and didn't realize I was getting lost in his angry golden gaze until it was too late.

"What if you decided to love completely because you realized that _this _is it?"

"What are you saying?" I asked, completely baffled of the sudden direction things were going.

"What if this is it?"

My eyes still never left his.

"What if it isn't?" I shot back.

"What if you let it?"

Finally breaking away from his gaze I glanced over his shoulder and with a shock realized how much time had passed since we started our little game.

"What are you implying?" I asked, sounding irritated to my own ears.

"What are you so afraid of?" he asked then stood up collecting his back pack. "Move it, Swan or you're going to be late," he said seconds before the bell rang, signaling the end of lunch.

Frozen, I just sat there watching as Edward pushed through the cafeteria doors. His questions were on repeat in my head; turning my thoughts into a Merry-Go-Round of endless questions with no answers.

* * *

**A/N: Feel free to tell me what you think! ^_^ Just follow the arrow**

****Also huge thanks to everyone that sent in pick-up lines. You guys made me laugh so much :D (Sadly, this didn't go the way I planned but I'm glad that I was still able to use some). **

****I heard that authors come off as bitches when they don't reply to reviews...do you guys want me to? I usually don't, unless you ask a question, because it makes me feel clingy or some shit. Just saying :\ Anyway, I wouldn't mind replying if it helped show how much I appreciate you guys ^_^ **

****As always, I'm on Twitter if you want to Follow. **

**THANKS FOR STICKING WITH THIS STORY! :D**

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